Full Chroma
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: Bella meets the big man on campus, Emmett Cullen. He is smitten with her, but she is drawn to his disturbed brother. She can have the golden boy, or try to make a relationship work with someone incapable of giving her what she needs. All human.
1. Chapter 1

Full Chroma

**Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Characters.**

1

I was walking across campus when something flew past my head, missing me by mere centimeters. I could hear it rush past and looked down to see a Frisbee lying on the ground in front of me. I turned to see a large guy without a shirt running toward me. He had a perfect six-pack and dark hair sticking out from beneath his ball cap.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Did it hit you?"

"No," I said awkwardly, "I mean, no it didn't hit me."

He smiled and I saw two very deep dimples. He was so cute, but too macho for me. I usually went for the sensitive guy, not the jock. I smiled in return and tried to walk around him.

"Hey, let me make it up to you," he offered quickly.

"No, its okay," I said and tried to speed up a bit. You would think college life would be filled with meeting new guys, but in reality I only met people who knew my roommates. I had no idea why I was turning down such a cute guy.

"Come on, at least meet me at the student center tonight for a game of pool," he begged with his dimples showing.

It made me laugh and I nodded quickly as I continued walking. He yelled after me and said to be there around eight. I was crazy to just hook up with a stranger, but something told me this guy was different. I didn't even know his name and realized I hadn't given him mine. It would be tangle free if I decided not to show.

I walked into class to find my roommate Jessica waiting for me. I sat down and pulled out my laptop before she captured my attention. "I hate Mike," she stated adamantly.

Mike and Jessica had been together for two years, but she hated him for at least one of them. They fought constantly but couldn't seem to move on past their relationship. I wasn't in the mood to hear about another brawl so I nodded and focused on my computer.

"Do you want to do something tonight?" Jess asked.

I instantly had an idea so I turned to her and looked enthusiastic. "Let's go to the student center tonight and play pool," I suggested.

Her mood lifted quickly and she nodded in agreement. I was now getting a bit excited for the evening. It didn't feel like a date, just people hanging out together. It had been a while since I had been in a real relationship. I had grown tired of guys constantly trying to hook up without any commitment at all. Maybe I was going for the wrong type and this muscle guy is what I'm looking for.

Jess and I showed up a little after eight. I tried not to act like I was looking for anyone and felt a sense of relief when I heard someone call out for the girl in the blue shirt. I automatically looked down to see I was wearing a dark blue shirt and then glanced around the large cavernous area.

I saw him waving a pool cue and I waved back a bit embarrassed. "Come on, Jess," I said and pulled her toward the pool tables.

When we arrived at the table where the big guy was waiting he blurted out, "What's your name?"

"I'm Bella and this is Jessica," I said, and tried to keep from noticing how Jess was glaring at me. I didn't want her to know this was planned, but it was pretty obvious right now.

"Hello Ladies, I'm Emmett Cullen, you may have heard of me," he said with an adorable dimple laden smile.

"Are you famous?" Jessica asked.

Emmett wiggled his eyebrows and said, "You could say that."

I wasn't falling for his macho routine but Jess was pulled right in. She stared as she tried to attach him to anything remotely familiar. I pulled the pool stick from his hand and rolled my eyes at him. "I'm sure the female members of the freshman class know you very well, but we're juniors," I stated, and attempted to break.

He laughed loudly and I couldn't help but smile. He was a genuinely happy guy and it was infectious. Jessica walked over to a bench and sat with a huff. Emmett looked at the table and said, "You're holding the stick incorrectly, here let me show you." He purposefully wrapped his arms around my shoulders and placed my fingers in the right position. "Try again," he urged.

His shoulders devoured my small frame and I felt tiny in his wake. I attempted to break again and this time the balls flew in all directions. I smiled with pride and he quickly picked me up, making me feel like a child. "You did it," he announced, as I struggled for him to put me down.

Jessica laughed and I gave her a warning glance before turning back to Emmett. "Don't pick me up, it is humiliating," I stated honestly.

He looked a bit flustered and finally said, "Sorry, it's a habit I guess."

I chuckled at his response and asked, "You pick up people by habit?"

"I'm the oldest," he confided. "I kind of just take care of everyone."

I nodded and said, "I'm an only child, so I'm not used to anyone taking care of me."

He smiled, sending my heart racing. "Okay, no lifting, I promise."

It was a deal I never thought I would find myself making, but I extended my hand for his to shake. He held my hand tightly, a bit too tightly, due to his large muscles. I tried to act nonchalant as I pulled my hand back and nodded at the table. Emmett took the cue and I didn't get it back until he sunk five balls.

We hung out at the student center until after ten and then Emmett suggested we head to a small club and listen to some music. Jessica headed back home, but I was enjoying his company so I agreed to go with him. He walked me to a large jeep with a high lift kit. I wasn't exactly sure how to climb into the thing.

"Um, I guess you'll have to lift me," I said, and he laughed with delight. His big arms picked me up bridal style and deposited me into the seat. I made a mental note never to wear a skirt around him.

We drove only a few blocks from campus and entered a loud dark club. Several people called out his name as if he was a regular. We found a small booth and he scooted in right next to me, basically trapping me in the seat.

"Do you come here a lot?" I asked right into his ear.

"Yeah, my brother found the place. He's got great taste in music."

A waitress came over and we both ordered a beer. Emmett turned sideways and placed his arm around the back of the booth directly over my shoulders. I looked into his eyes and he smiled cheerfully. I quickly looked away. His confidence was a bit overwhelming for me.

"What's your major?" he asked.

"English," I replied, "How about you?"

"My undergrad is in accounting, but I'm getting my masters in international business."

"Oh, you're a grad student?" I asked stupidly, pointing out the obvious.

He laughed and shook his head, "I'm not ready to go into the world just yet, so I had to keep my dad off my back somehow. He's a bit of a…overachiever."

"My dad's a cop," I announced and watched for his reaction.

"Shit, that sucks," he replied and then took a swig of his beer.

I couldn't wait to give him the next little bit of information. "Yeah, and I won't be twenty-one until September." I picked up my own beer and took a long drink as he choked on his.

He quickly grabbed it from my hand and sat it on his end of the table. I began to laugh but his face remained serious. "I just assumed you were older," he said.

"Maybe you should ask next time," I replied, and he nodded before looking around nervously.

"Hey, you didn't serve me, the club messed up, not you," I said to ease his mind. He finally relaxed and let his arm fall directly onto my shoulders.

He pulled me closer and said sweetly, "Let's get out of here."

It sounded like he wanted to go somewhere we would be alone, where he could do and say anything without worrying about others seeing. It screamed sex to me and there was no way I was going to sleep with him on the first date.

"I really should get home, I have to work tomorrow." His eyes widened with surprise at the mention of a job. Obviously he didn't need to make his own way in the world.

"Where do you work?" he asked.

"A small art gallery downtown," I said and noticed he didn't ask for more details. He didn't seem like the artistic type and now I was certain of it.

We headed out of the club and got into his car. I wasn't sure I wanted him to know which apartment complex I lived in but he seemed harmless enough. He pulled up front and reached for his door handle. I quickly said, "You don't have to walk me up."

He looked a bit disappointed and then asked, "May I kiss you goodnight?"

I never had a guy ask before and that had to mean something. He had manners and an adorable smile, so I nodded and leaned toward him. He held the back of my head softly and touched his lips to mine very softly before escalating the kiss into something a lot deeper. I finally forced myself to pull away and said, "Goodnight."

"Wait," he frowned. "You're really getting out of the car?"

I'm sure his kissing confused the panties off of plenty of girls, but Bella Swan would not be one of them. I got out of the car and leaned over to say one more time, "Goodnight."

"Hey, can I call you sometime?" he asked. I wasn't sure if he was serious but he got his cell phone and prepared to input my number. I finally relented and waved as I walked away.

He was a nice guy, handsome for sure, but something just didn't jive between us. He seemed too…popular. I was more the nerd type, worried about grades and getting home before curfew. Emmett was most likely a high school jock and partied as much as he worked out.

It wasn't fair to judge him so harshly so I promised myself I would go out with him again if he actually called, just to make sure I wasn't missing something. I was in bed before midnight and woke up early to go for a run before heading downtown for work.

The gallery was very small and only local artists showcased their work. The owner used the place as a tax write off and was never too concerned about making money. I loved the pictures and found entire stories hidden without the barest of outlines.

The bell above the door sounded and I looked up to see a man walk in. He was tall and slightly slumped over; as if he was afraid he would be asked to leave. I turned back to my science text and ignored him. He moved silently from one picture to the next. It was close to an hour when I noticed he wasn't even halfway through. I shut my book and walked over to where he stood.

"Are you an artist?" I asked.

"No," he said quickly, "I just like to look."

"Me too," I smiled, and noticed how he stared a little too intently. "I make up stories for each picture, of course it is completely irrelevant but it makes me feel more connected."

He looked at me with a curious expression and then pointed at a charcoal on the wall close to the front of the shop. "What is the story to that one?"

I walked over to it and he followed behind me. I looked at the drawing and then back at him. "You're not the artist are you?"

He shook his head vigorously and said, "I swear I'm not."

"Okay, see the shadow here by the trees?" I asked.

"Shadow?" he questioned and leaned in closer. There wasn't actually a shadow, but the thick black line made me believe someone was hiding just beyond view.

"The woman thinks she's alone, but he's there watching her," I said adamantly. "I think her heart knows he's there and it comforts her and confounds her at the same time."

"Why?" he asked as he continued to stare.

"Because he's obviously interested in her, but he can't bring himself to come into the open. It gives her hope but also worries her that he'll leave and never return."

He stared for a long moment and then pointed at the rough waves of the sea. "He leaves and never returns. The movement of the water suggests it."

I saw what he meant and it filled me with sadness. I wanted to believe like the woman in the drawing that he would have the courage to come into the open. I felt my eyes fill with tears and turned to speak to the stranger but he had his back to me as he headed to the door.

"Hey," I called out. "Are you ever coming back?"

I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did. I just liked talking about the artwork with him. He gave me a funny smile and then said, "Probably not."


	2. Chapter 2

2

And he didn't return. I looked for a glimpse of him every day I worked, but he never came. I wished I would have gotten his name so I could have looked him up. Emmett on the other hand called often. He always wanted to ask me to some sporting event. I usually told him I had to work, but this night he asked me to check out a local band. I loved music and agreed right away.

I got ready for our date and made sure I wasn't looking like I was suggesting he try something. I had a decent figure, but I wasn't used to showing it off. I put on a long tee and tied it at the waist. I had on black skinny jeans and high top converse shoes.

I waited for Emmett at the curb and when I got into his car he quickly said, "I can come to your door, it won't bother me."

"I walked out with my roommate," I lied; still not sure I wanted him to know where I lived.

We drove to the amphitheatre and got a spot close to the stage. Emmett put his hands on the waist of my jeans and I could feel his fingers run over my bare flesh. We danced to the band and had a lot of fun. When the concert ended he pulled me into his arms and gave me a few kisses before asking, "Do you want to come see my place?"

I stammered a bit so he added, "I'm not asking you to come over for sex, just to hang out a bit."

I chuckled and pretended it wasn't what I was thinking, but it certainly was. "Okay," I said, and he gave me a shot of his dimples and then took my hand to lead me away. His place wasn't too far from my apartment, but it was a house he shared with two other people. One was a woman named Rosalie, and the other was her brother Jasper.

Emmett introduced me and then patted a spot on the sofa in front of him. When I sat he wrapped his body around me and put his head on the arm of the couch. I noticed the woman kept glaring at me and I felt very unwelcomed. I wondered if Emmett was using me to give a message to his roommate.

"What movie are you watching?" Emmett asked Rosalie.

"I'm not watching it," she said heatedly.

"Okay, what movie are you not watching," he asked again.

"Tombstone or some old shit like that," she said and Emmett laughed.

He moved my hair from my shoulder and said, "It must be Jasper watching it, he's into stuff like this."

I simply nodded, feeling awkward and under a spotlight. I glanced over at Rose and she was looking right at me. She finally said, "So you're the girl Emmett's been squawking about?"

"I don't squawk," he said and then laughed very loudly. I felt like I was stuck between them in some sort of disagreement I wasn't privy to.

"We met a few weeks ago," I said sounding very lame.

"I'm sure it was earth shattering," she said with venom, and then went back to her reading.

I glanced at Emmett and he only rolled his eyes in her direction. I suddenly wanted out of the place and said, "Hey, want to go meet my roommates?"

His eyes lit up like I had agreed to have sex with him. I would worry about that later, I just wanted out of this tension filled room. We said goodbye and Rosalie didn't respond. When we got to the car I asked, "Oh my God, what is her problem?"

"Oh that's just Rose, she's always like that," he said to dismiss her actions.

"Did you two used to date?" I pressed.

He gave me a confused look and shook his head. "No, why?"

"I don't know. I felt like you guys had a bad break up or something."

"Like I said, it's just how she is."

I wanted to tell him she was harboring an intense crush on him or she wanted him dead, I wasn't sure which one. I remained quiet and when we got to my apartment complex I said, "You can come up for about an hour."

He laughed as if I was kidding and when I remained serious he let his laughter die down. "Why?" he finally asked.

"I just have a lot to do tomorrow," I said and tried to sound serious.

He looked at me for a moment and then asked the big question. "Bella, are you a virgin?"

I smacked his arm and said, "If that is your way of asking if I'll sleep with you the answer is not yet."

He looked absolutely flabbergasted and actually looked down at his body before asking, "Why?"

"I have nothing against you personally," I said to ease his mind, "I just don't sleep around with random guys."

"Random, I call you practically three times a week," he said, as if I would make me jump right out of my jeans.

I knew this wasn't going to work and I shouldn't have agreed to go to the concert. I was stuck with him now and looked up at my apartment before asking again, "Do you want to come up for an hour or just drop me off?"

He turned to the side and let his fingers play with my hair for a moment. He glanced at the apartment building and then said, "Can we just sit in here? I don't really want to meet anyone else."

I was relieved that he wouldn't know which door was mine just yet, and I wouldn't have to hear Jess go over every detail about him later. I nodded and he pulled me into his arms for a kiss. I had to admit Emmett was a great kisser, I just didn't feel the overwhelming passion I should for a man like him.

I bet Rosalie would die to have him kiss her like this. I felt like they would make a better couple anyway. My mind wandered to the stranger in the art gallery. I didn't even have a name to attach to him, but just picturing him in my mind made my kisses much more aggressive with Emmett.

He moaned loudly and moved to push me down on the seat. I had to push him forcefully away and we stared at each other as we both panted for air. "I thought you were responding to me," he said in shame.

"I'm just, I mean my dad is a cop," I said, refusing to tell him I was picturing a stranger in my mind. "And I don't know you very well."

Emmett moved back into his seat and ran his hand through his dark curls. He took a deep breath and then said, "Okay, we'll go really slowly and get to know each other. Do you work on Sunday?"

"No," I said honestly, having no idea where he was going with the question.

"Great, would you come with me to my folks' house for brunch, meet my family and see I'm not some uncouth Neanderthal.

"Do your roommates come?" I asked, not wanting to be around Rosalie at all.

"Jasper comes sometimes. He's dating my sister."

I thought about it for a moment and I knew if I met his family I would be certain if things could ever work between us or not. "Sure, I'll come," I agreed.

His face lit up and his dimples showed prominently. He really was very handsome and maybe if he backed off with the physical stuff we could actually form a connection. I gave him a couple of more kisses and then opened the car door. "What time Sunday?" I asked.

"I'll pick you up at eleven," he said and I closed the door and waved at him.

He waited for me to enter the building before driving away. It was a good sign that he would be respectful. I returned to the apartment to find Mike and Jessica curled up on the sofa. It only served to remind me how horrible some relationships were. Mike and I groaned at each other and I headed into my room.

"Who were you with Swanie?" Mike asked.

"You wouldn't know him," I said as I continued to my room.

"Try me," he yelled out.

"Emmett Cullen," I said and heard him gasp. It brought me to a complete stop and I turned to see Mike with his mouth hanging open. "Do you know him?" I asked.

"A…yeah," he laughed. "Who doesn't?"

I looked at Jessica and then back at Mike to see if they were teasing me. I had no idea who Emmett was and never heard the name before either. "How do you know him?" I asked.

"He was only the greatest left tackle the university ever had. He would be pro but he got injured," Mike said to douse any hope I had it would work with Emmett. He was a jock after all and we had nothing in common.

"We're just friends," I said sadly, and Mike laughed at me.

"Yeah, I doubt you're va va voom enough for him," he said to put an exclamation point on my relationship with Emmett. I turned without commenting and walked out of the room. Mike was right; I wasn't the kind of girl to be involved with the big man on campus.

I decided to meet his family and then find some reason to end things before it got too out of hand. He picked me up right on time Sunday. It was a rare sunny day and I wore some leggings with a blouse and jacket. My boots went to my knees and made me three inches taller.

Emmett whistled when I got into his jeep. "Thanks," I said awkwardly. He took hold of my hand and held it the entire way to his home. It was a large beautiful brick home in the middle of some thick trees. He walked around to my side to help me down and then wrapped his arm around me as we walked to the door.

He didn't knock but walked right in. He led me to a sitting room and I saw someone sitting in the corner playing with a guitar. He looked up and my body turned to ice. It was him, the man from the art gallery. He showed no sign of recognizing me and Emmett said, "Bella this is my brother Edward." He leaned closer and whispered, "He's really weird, just ignore him."

I walked over and sat on the sofa. Emmett remained standing and said, "I'll go find my folks."

He left the room and I looked over to see Edward looking at me. I cleared my throat and said, "You probably don't remember me. I work at the little art gallery downtown."

He stared at me as he continued picking on the guitar. He didn't say a word or respond to me. I looked at my hands and began to fidget nervously. Edward finally said, "It's all wrong you know."

"What is?" I asked with confusion. He shook his head and I saw just a hint of a smile on his face.

Emmett came back into the room and I saw two other people with him. I stood and Emmett smiled at me. "Bella, these are my parents, Dr. Carlisle Cullen and Dr. Esme Cullen."

"You're both doctors?" I asked in shock.

Esme came over to offer me a gentle hug. "Emmett's being pretentious. It is nice to meet you dear." Edward laughed and Esme turned to look at him with a stern expression. "Get up off the floor, Edward," she commanded.

He rose slowly and walked from the room without speaking to anyone. The Cullens all looked at each other with sideways glances. I tried not to appear to notice and Emmett motioned for me to sit back on the sofa.

"I'll have to apologize for my son," Carlisle said. "Edward is…difficult sometimes."

I wasn't sure what to say so I remained quiet and smiled at them all. I also wasn't quite sure what he had done that was so wrong. We had interrupted him and surely there was another place in this house we could have met in.

The Cullens asked me generic questions about myself, but the only thought I could concentrate on was how I wished Edward would come back into the room.


	3. Chapter 3

3

Esme excused herself to check on the food and we all heard a loud, shrill laugh coming toward us. A young woman bounded into the room. She looked just like Emmett, except she was very small. Her short hair framed her face and her tight dress showed off her tight abs.

"Bella, this is my sister Alice."

She rushed over and hugged me tightly as if we had been best friends for years. She began inundating me with questions and Emmett finally told her to calm down. He held out his hand for mine and I stood to be led to the sunroom where a beautiful table was set. Emmett pulled out my chair and then sat next to me. Alice rushed to the other side to sit directly across from me.

Edward walked into the room and our eyes met for a split second and then we both looked away. He sat next to Alice and put his elbows onto the table. Alice pushed them off and said harshly, "You are so classless."

Edward looked at me a shrugged, "I'm classless," he repeated, and I was the only person to laugh.

Esme and Carlisle brought in everyone's plate already filled. I looked at the large volume of food and had no idea how I would eat it all. Emmett reached for a champagne flute and said, "Would you like a mimosa?" Surely he forgot I was only twenty. I asked for just ice water and he seemed a bit disappointed.

He took my glass and walked over to the small wet bar. I looked over at Edward and he was slumped back in his chair with his arms crossed. Alice began talking about a gymnastics meet she had coming up so I gathered she was a gymnast. Everyone had some opinion to offer except me and Edward. He leaned forward and mouthed, "I hate sports."

I smiled and mouthed back, "Me too."

We both chuckled and everyone turned to look at us. "Are you being rude, son?" Carlisle asked.

I quickly jumped in to spare him from his father's anger. "No, I was teasing with him, that's all," I tried to explain. Everyone looked at me so I reached for an extra muffin which I didn't want. I pulled it into pieces just to pretend like I had something to do.

Everyone went back to their chatting and I felt a foot kick me from across the table. I glanced at Edward and he picked up a muffin and shredded it onto his plate. He knew what I was doing and I quickly dropped the muffin from my hand.

The conversation quickly moved to Emmett's prowess on the football field. I tried to act interested but nothing made sense to me and I was reduced to simply nodding. I felt Edward kick me again and I moved just my eyes to look at him. He mouthed, "You're full of shit."

I picked up my water glass and held it with just my middle finger showing as I took a sip. He raised his glass in salute at my gesture and I tried to hide my smile. It was totally inappropriate to have a private conversation with Emmett's brother, but he was the most interesting thing at the table.

"So Bella, do you hope to write or teach?" Carlisle asked.

"Oh, um…I'm not sure. I would love to be an art critic, but you have to actually know about art," I chuckled. The entire family looked at me like I had lost my head. Edward broke into loud laughter and Emmett glared at him.

Edward stood to leave the room and said, "I think you should go for it, most of the pricks who are critics don't know anything, so you'll just be another one."

"Edward," Esme said with disgust and quickly tried to soothe my feelings. I assured her I was fine. Secretly I actually hated the fact Edward had left.

Emmett kissed my cheek and said, "If you can put up with Edward, you're even better than I thought."

"He's not so bad," I muttered, and Emmett turned my chin so he could kiss my lips this time. It felt awkward and I quickly picked up my glass again to make him stop.

I had no idea how I got myself into this situation. I was dating the golden child, but I was attracted to the black sheep of the family. Nobody in their right mind would pick Edward over Emmett, but I was never like normal girls.

The doorbell rang and Alice jumped with a loud squeal and ran to answer the door. I looked at Emmett and smiled, "She's very enthusiastic."

"Alice is great. Jasper is lucky to have her," he said as if offering his blessing on their relationship.

"Does Edward date?" I asked, and tried not to be too interested.

"I'm sure there is some emo girl dressed in black he commiserates with, but nobody he brings around here."

"It must be difficult for him since you guys are so athletic," I said, to give Emmett a possible different perspective.

"He's a pussy," Emmett said and shook his head.

I felt sorry for Edward. His family didn't understand him at all, and Emmett didn't even realize I had more in common with his brother than I did with him. Alice stuck her head in the room and asked us to come with her and Jasper onto the back deck. I followed Emmett out the door and sat on a lounge chair in the sun. I glanced over at a window and could see Edward sitting at a piano. He wasn't playing but looking at music.

"Is Edward a musician?" I asked, and everyone turned to look at what my eyes were seeing.

"I guess," Emmett finally replied. He pulled a chair forward to block my view of Edward; most likely worried he would do something to embarrass the family.

I decided to pry into Rosalie's situation and see if I could steer Emmett to her. I looked at Jasper and said, "So Rosalie is your sister?"

"Yeah, we're from back east. I met Emmett in a class and he needed roommates. It's been a nice situation."

"Your sister is very beautiful," I said and looked at Emmett.

"Hey, we're strictly roommates," he said, and I felt like a jealous woman trying to cause drama.

I sat back and stopped adding to the conversation. I listened to Emmett and Jasper talk about every sport ever invented. Alice would add something here and there, but she mainly listened. I finally asked where a rest room was and she walked me into the house and down the hallway.

When I came out she was gone. Instead of heading back outside I walked further down the hallway to where I could hear someone plinking the piano. I peeked inside the room and Edward turned to look at me. I leaned against the doorframe and asked, "You really don't remember me from the gallery?"

"Should I?" he asked with a slight grin.

I was a bit offended, he had made a big impact on me and obviously I made none on him. I looked at the piano and asked, "Do you write your own stuff?"

"I'm just passing the day, that's all," he said and I wasn't sure what he meant. I stood silently and he didn't offer anything else so I turned to leave.

"Bella," he called out. I turned to look at him and he said, "I was wrong, I think he came back."

My heart was pounding in my chest and I could feel my body trembling. I smiled at his concession and imagined Edward stepping from the dark shadow of the drawing. I put my hand on my heart and said, "I knew it."

When I got back to Emmett I was smiling like crazy. He noticed and asked about it. It was the perfect opportunity to tell him I had been talking with Edward and it made me happy, but I feigned ignorance and passed it off as no big deal.

We got ready to leave and I was panicked about not seeing Edward again. Alice said she would give me a call and we would do something together later in the week, but I didn't catch a glimpse of Edward. Esme and Carlisle walked us to the car and both gave me a polite hug. I tried to act very engaged with the family, since I hoped to be seeing more of them, just not with Emmett.

We headed to my apartment and Emmett took my hand again. "I can tell my family really likes you," he offered.

"I like them, all of them," I added tellingly.

"Alice will want to be your best friend, she loves meeting new people," he said with a wide grin.

"She seems very bubbly," I laughed. "I would love to know her better." I paused before saying, "Edward seemed nice."

Emmett groaned and looked out his window for a moment. "My brother makes it so difficult to like him. I mean, he's my only brother, you would think we would naturally connect."

I was worried about stating my opinion, but my unnatural desire to defend Edward forced me to say something. "I think you two are opposites. Maybe if you took an interest in his things he would take an interest in yours."

He glanced at me with a look of confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you family is very into sports, but Edward isn't. What does he like?"

Emmett chuckled and then said, "Porn, crime, whores."

I felt my heart lurch in my chest; maybe I had totally misjudged Edward. I saw him as a struggling artist, a poet who was misunderstood by his family. Perhaps they knew the dark side of Edward that I had refused to see because I was attracted to him. I looked at Emmett's kind, handsome face and decided to make more of an effort to connect with the 'good' Cullen.

We pulled up in front of my place and I asked if he wanted to come in. I hoped he didn't, but he smiled and nodded in agreement. We walked with hands joined to my door and when I reached out to open it he stepped in front of me and said, "In case I forget, thanks for coming with me today."

He was so genuine and I felt a bit guilty. I smiled and gave him a quick kiss, "Thanks for inviting me."

We walked through the door to find Angela and Jessica sitting on the sofa. I was happy Mike wasn't there to fawn all over Emmett. I introduced them and Emmett talked to them each as if he had known them for years. I could tell how taken they were with him and wondered if something was wrong with me. Why couldn't I be affected by his charm? And why was I so attracted to his loser brother?

When the afternoon grew late I told Emmett I had some homework to do so he agreed to leave. I walked him to the sidewalk and he pulled me into his arms against his jeep. I smiled and had to admit his dimples were gorgeous. He kissed me and let his hand run slowly down my ass before squeezing it gently.

"I'm really falling for you," he admitted before kissing me deeply.

My mind was reeling and I tried to make myself focus on him entirely, but Edward came into my mind and it was him I was kissing, not Emmett. When we finally parted I felt a bit sick to my stomach. I had to end this as soon as possible, but I was terrified I would never see Edward again. I was such an awful person.

I was just about to enter my apartment when my phone rang. I looked at the number and didn't recognize it. I answered hesitantly, hoping it wasn't a sales call. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a soft voice say, "Bella, its Edward."

There was a beep and I looked down at my phone again to see Emmett was calling through. I remembered Emmett saying Edward was basically a perverted criminal, and Emmett was the hero of Seattle. I wasn't sure what to do, but I finally stepped back outside and ignored the beeping. "Hi Edward," I said as my voice shook.


	4. Chapter 4

I knew I was making a huge mistake by refusing to answer Emmett's call and talking to his brother. It wasn't like Emmett and I had defined our relationship, but it felt sneaky and wrong anyway. My heart was racing as I waited for Edward to say something. I finally asked, "Is there a reason you called?"

"Don't you want to know how I got your number?" he asked.

It hadn't occurred to me but now that he mentioned it, yeah I wondered. "How did you get it?" I inquired.

"I looked in my brother's phone while you guys were outside. He really shouldn't leave it lying around. It's dangerous," he chuckled.

I felt like he was offering me a warning of some kind so I asked, "Exactly why is it dangerous?"

"Your father's a cop; do I really need to explain it to you?"

I tried to think back over the day to see if Edward was in the room when I spoke about my family. I couldn't remember, but I felt he wasn't. "Are you looking into my life?" I asked, a bit excited by the possibility.

"You're the topic of conversation around here at nauseam," he moaned, and I felt guilty for playing Emmett again. I was also a little offended by his attitude.

"I'm sure it would be easy to change the subject," I said rudely.

He laughed at my attempt to be snotty and said, "I'm the one constantly bringing it up."

That changed everything and I found myself smiling again. Edward was giving me whiplash as I tried to have a simple conversation with him. I heard the beeping again and didn't even look at the phone this time.

"Someone's trying to get hold of you," Edward observed.

"It can wait," I replied.

I could hear him moving around and he finally asked, "How do you feel about nudity?"

I gasped at the question and tried to find an appropriate answer. "Do you mean in general, or in magazines men jack off to in public restrooms?"

I had to admit I was anxious for his response. If he was as depraved as Emmett suggested I wanted to know now. He laughed loudly and said, "It's all nudity, sweetheart."

"Then I would have to say I'm against it," I announced proudly.

"Ah, you really disappointed me," he moaned, and it made my pulse quicken. I wanted to please him and I wasn't sure why. I hated the idea of disappointing him, even if it was the truth I was speaking.

"I think there should be an element of mystery," I said as I tried to explain myself.

"And why is that?" he pressed. "Does seeing a meal make it any less delicious?"

I tried to think of a curt response but I was blank. I finally blurted out, "You are so full of shit. Beliefs are easy to espouse when you don't have to actually live them. Walk around nude and then lecture me on how open minded I should be."

"Very good," he said as if I had passed some unknown test. I sighed with frustration and he quickly added, "You better answer next time, or he'll move on to someone more available."

I couldn't help myself and said, "So."

He chuckled and said, "Then what will the Cullens have to speak to each other about? Be a good girl and answer. Goodnight."

He hung up without waiting for a response. I was tempted to call him back, but I realized Edward was not one to be chased. I headed into the apartment and went over the entire conversation in my head. Emmett called about twenty minutes later and asked me for a lunch date at school. I only agreed so I could get more information on Edward. At this point I had no idea what to think of the guy.

The next day I attended classes and then headed to the gallery to work. I walked in to find the woman I would relieve looking upset. She handed me an envelope and said, "This was under the door when I opened. You might want to call the police."

I opened the envelope to find pictures of various male body parts. I knew instantly it came from Edward. I looked back at the woman and said, "It's someone's idea of a practical joke. It isn't anything I should be worried about."

"Are you sure?" she asked and looked down at the photos in my hand.

"He's making a point about nudity," I admitted, and then put the photos away.

She finally left and I sat behind the large desk and pulled out my phone. I texted a message to the number Edward called from. _Your photos are on display and I'm making up stories about them_.

I got an immediate response that said, _Do tell._

I thought for a moment and then sent, _A young boy, maybe age ten, was banished to an island where he survived with just a camera and a fishing spear. He placed the photos in a bottle to be rescued, but since he looked through the lens, only exposed parts of him were photographed._

I expected the response I got. _Ten?_

I giggled as I typed; _There was nothing to add spatial comparisons. I assumed it was a child._

After a few moments I got picture mail showing Edward's hand holding his penis. I quickly turned my phone over, as if he could see me looking at it. I looked around the room making sure I was absolutely alone and then picked up my phone and turned it over. I could feel my face blush as I stared at his long fingers holding his member.

I had never stared directly at a man's penis before and realized how little I knew of their anatomy. I picked up the envelope and slowly looked at each picture again. My phone suddenly rang and I screamed and dropped the pictures all over the floor. I answered my phone as I scrambled to pick up the pictures.

"Nice photo," I said as a greeting.

"What photo?" Emmett asked.

I actually gasped and then quickly tried to cover. "Oh, sorry, I thought you were one of my roommates calling. I didn't look at my phone before answering."

"You need to give me my own ringtone," he suggested.

"Yeah, I'll do that," I promised, planning to give Edward one first.

"Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?" he asked.

"Oh um…yeah," I said, and promised myself to end everything between us.

"I'll meet you on the quad tomorrow around noon," he said, and I quickly agreed.

We hung up and I put all the pictures in my purse and then looked on my laptop for a ringtone. I wanted something dark for Edward, mysterious and dangerous. I finally settled on _Digital Bath_, by the Deftones. It was harder to come up with one for Emmett. I searched most of the evening and finally decided on the Monday Night Football theme song. He would like it, but it wouldn't hold any special meaning.

The next morning went by too quickly as I struggled with what I would say to Emmett. I didn't want him to hate me, since I hoped to start something with Edward. I had to find a way to end it and remain friends. I found him waiting on a bench in the middle of the quad. He gave me a kiss and took my hand to lead me to the eating area.

I got us a table as he got a couple of burger baskets. He sat the food on the table and then leaned over to give me a more aggressive kiss. I felt like we were on display in front of the entire school. Everyone was looking at us and knew who Emmett was.

I ate a few bites of food before saying, "Emmett, I know nothing about sports and I'm not athletic at all."

"I know, it's a nice change," he replied.

I cussed in my own head and tried a new tactic. "Your roommate Rosalie seems much more your type than I am."

He smiled and ran his hand over my knee before saying, "Don't feel like you need to compare yourself to Rose. She's pretty, but very shallow."

Now he managed to offend me and piss me off at the same time. "I wasn't comparing myself to Rose. I just feel like we have nothing in common."

His face looked stunned and he asked, "What do you mean?"

I dug deeply and found the nerve to say, "I have more in common with Edward than I do with you."

He covered his mouth with a napkin and roared with laughter. I had no idea what he found so funny and I stared at him in demand of an explanation. He said, "Bella, believe me you have nothing in common with Edward."

"How do you know?" I asked.

He leaned closer and said, "Edward is unbelievably selfish. His is totally without character or a conscience. I love my brother, but only because he is family."

"I think you're wrong," I said defiantly. "I think Edward is deeply hurt by your family's lack of acceptance of him and acts out for attention."

Emmett sat silently for a moment and then spoke with a pained voice. "God, I wish it was that simple," he said softly.

I took advantage of the moment and said, "Tell me more about him, and help me understand."

Emmett sat all the way back in his chair and pushed his basket of food away before speaking. He shook his head back and forth and said, "In some ways Edward is totally free, he'll do or say anything. But he doesn't consider anyone's feelings. I've tried to reach out to him, but he pushes me away at every turn."

I realized in that moment how truly good Emmett was. He loved his brother and felt a loss because they weren't close. I put my hand on top of his and offered, "Maybe he pushes you away because he feels like he can't compete with you. Were you close as children?"

Emmett shook his head and said sadly, "No, I played little league and pop warner football. Alice was into gymnastics and Edward never really found anything he liked."

"He's a musician isn't he?" I asked.

"Edward has amazing talent, but he only dabbles at things. He never gives a hundred percent for anything."

"Maybe he's afraid of failure?" I suggested. I was determined to find a plausible explanation for his abhorrent behavior, and hoped I would stumble onto something.

Emmett shrugged and then smiled, showing off his dimples. He brought my hand to his mouth to kiss and then said, "Let's stop talking about Edward. There are happier things to discuss."

I felt like I lost my opportunity to define our relationship as something temporary and finished my meal with regret. Luckily I had an afternoon class and quickly left for the day. I hurried off to work and hoped Edward would make contact somehow. I wasn't met with any pornographic photo and was actually a bit disappointed. I set my phone and the desk and studied as I continued to check it throughout the night.

It was closing time when I finally put my phone away. I checked the back door and shut off the lights before stepping onto the walkway to lock up the front door. I got the door locked and turned to see someone leaning against the brick building. I grabbed my heart as it pounded furiously.

"You scared me to death," I gasped.

I looked down the street and thought I saw a shadow move. I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not. I looked over at Emmett and he tried to apologize for scaring me. My phone vibrated in my pocket and waited before bringing it out to look at it.

"I just wanted to see you tonight," Emmett said, and I could smell alcohol on his breath. He didn't appear to be drunk, but his hands were wandering all over me.

"I have a huge test tomorrow. I have to study," I lied to him.

"I'll help you study," he suggested and began kissing my neck.

"I think you'll be more of a distraction," I laughed and tried to pull away.

He finally moved back a little and said, "Bella, let me take you away this weekend, a romantic get-a-way."

I knew I had to end this before it went any further. I tried to smile but I couldn't make it the whole way. "I have to work, and I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Why?" he asked.

I didn't have the nerve to tell him the real reason, so I skirted the issue by saying, "Emmett, I'm afraid I just don't feel the same way about you as you do about me. I'm sorry."

I could tell I was the first woman to say those words to him. He looked dumbstruck and didn't quite know what to say. He backed up and then began apologizing. I tried to explain but he held up his hands and then walked away.

I groaned and pulled out my phone to see a message from Edward. _Don't blow it with my brother; he's the best you'll ever get._


	5. Chapter 5

Edward's words hurt badly. He wanted me with Emmett, and felt I couldn't get anyone better. Or maybe he just thought so highly of his brother he wanted me to see it too. Whatever his reasons were it stung to know he didn't want me.

I tried to convince myself I was lucky to be rid of Emmett and now rid of Edward. It would have been a complicated situation and totally unnecessary. I tossed and turned all through the night. I showed up for school the next morning looking haggard and ran into Alice and Rose. I could tell instantly she had talked with her brother.

"Bella," Alice began, "Why don't you like Emmett?"

"You're insane," Rosalie mumbled, and I glanced in her direction so she looked away.

"He's a really nice guy," I admitted. "I'm just not attracted to him in that way."

The two women looked at each other and then back at me. "You're lying," Alice accused. I'm sure she found it impossible for a woman to refuse her perfect brother. She would have a heart attack to know I liked her imperfect brother more.

"I'm not saying he isn't handsome, because he is very handsome. I just have nothing in common with him," I explained. I took the initiative and added, "Rose would be a better fit than me."

Rosalie's eyes widened in surprise but she quickly looked away from Alice. It was as if Alice had never considered her as someone Emmett would like. She looked her up and down and then said to me, "But she's his roommate."

"Right," I pointed out, "So she knows him very well."

We were talking about Rosalie as if she wasn't standing right in front of us. I was so hoping Alice would climb on board but she shook her head and said, "Emmett knows what he wants, and he wants you."

I laughed a bit and then pointed out that I didn't want Emmett. It wasn't like they could force me into liking him. I had every right to pick the wrong guy, and my heart knew what it wanted too. I decided to take a small chance and I added, "I am much more Edward's type."

Both women broke into loud laughter at the thought of me and Edward together. Rose wiped her eyes and said, "Well, her father is a cop, I guess that would bode well for Edward."

Alice finally got control of herself and took hold of my arm and said very lovingly, "Bella, believe me, you don't want anywhere near Edward. He'll ruin your life."

It wasn't really an issue, since Edward himself wanted me with Emmett. I smiled and nodded as if taking her advice to heart. We parted ways and I finished the day with a heavy feeling hanging over me. I felt like I was on the verge of starting my period and in need of a good cry.

The feeling exacerbated when I got home and found Emmett waiting by my door for me. I knew I would regret letting him know where I lived. I tried to smile but it was difficult. "May we have a talk?" he asked politely.

"Sure," I conceded and opened the door to let him inside.

We sat on the sofa since the apartment was empty and Emmett didn't try to touch me or make me uncomfortable in any way. "I think I moved to quickly," he offered. "I would like to try again and go slower this time."

"Emmett, you just aren't used to a challenge. I really think…."

"No, you're wrong," he said forcefully. "I've never dated a girl like you and I really have feelings for you. I think if you get to know me you'll possibly have feelings for me."

This guy was so accommodating. He was willing to slow down and give me time to see if anything could develop. There was no way I could refuse him now. I at least owed him an honest shot. I finally agreed to a few more dates, but if my feelings didn't change I told him I would end it with him. He smiled and only kissed my cheek before leaving the apartment.

I took out my phone to delete the picture Edward sent when I got an idea. I sent the photo to my computer and decided to work some magic with photoshop. It made me laugh and I couldn't wait to show Edward, if I ever got the chance.

I got ready for work and showed up a few minutes early. As soon as I entered the store my phone rang. It was Emmett and I quickly answered. "No pressure Bella, but my father's birthday is this Sunday. Are you willing to have brunch at their place again?"

The thought of seeing Edward entered my mind and I quickly agreed. I hung up and my phone rang again, this time it was Edward's ringtone. Before I could answer he hung up. The restroom door opened and I glanced over to see Edward step out from the door.

I knew he had heard the ringtones and I quickly shut off my phone and stuck it in my pocket. He didn't come to the desk but continued making his way around the room. The older woman I was relieving walked up to ask him if he needed any help. He turned to face her and then said, "Are you an art critic?"

She chuckled and said, "No, just a cashier."

"Then why would I want your help?" he said rudely, and went back to looking at the paintings. She turned to look at me with wide eyes and then walked over to get her coat. She left after giving me a pitying glance.

I remained behind the desk and said, "That wasn't very nice."

Edward glanced at me and put his hand to his ear as if he couldn't hear me. I knew it wasn't true. He was only fifteen feet away. I got up begrudgingly and walked slowly to see him staring at a picture of a woman cupping her breasts.

"Her mother died of breast cancer so she's doing a self-exam," I said as a back story for the picture.

He shook his head and pointed to her fire red nails. "No, she dressed up for a date. The man is kissing her pussy and she's enjoying it." My face turned bright red and I turned to go back to the desk. I couldn't trade barbs with him; he was way out of my league. "No, am I wrong?" he called out.

"Art is subjective," I said to appease us both.

He chuckled and walked over to the desk and sat on the edge of it. I crossed my arms and asked, "So are you going to ever buy anything?"

"Naw," he stated, and looked around the room. "Everything in here is shit."

"Maybe I have something you would like," I said and got my phone out of my pocket. I turned it on and then went to my pictures. I held my phone out for him and said, "I got curious to see how it would fit in my hand."

He took my phone and looked at a photoshopped picture of my large hand holding his tiny penis in my palm. His eyes grew wide as he figured out what he was looking at. He looked at my face and I tried to hold his stare.

"You can insult a guy's looks, his clothes, hell even his mother, but you never insult a dude's dick."

I glanced at the phone and then back at him before saying, "Did I insult you?"

He smirked and tossed me the phone before standing and working to unzip his pants. I jumped up and put my hands out to stop him. "What are you doing?" I demanded.

"You challenged me and I have to prove you wrong, give me your hand," he insisted.

I quickly crossed my arms and moved away from the desk. I knew he was only testing me, but I wasn't going to push him since he didn't appear to have a line he would refuse to cross. We both began to laugh and it felt great to share a joke with him. I got the feeling he didn't laugh with people often. I felt privileged it was me.

Edward reached down on the desk and picked up my phone. He held it out and quickly took a picture of me. I turned my head but he kept walking around me snapping pictures. I finally reached out to stop him and he grabbed my arm and pulled me right against his body. I was staring up at him when he snapped one final picture of us together and then handed me the phone. I looked down at the picture as he turned and walked out of the gallery.

He didn't say goodbye or if he would come again. He simply walked away and left me standing there with a very telling picture. I was looking at Edward with total awe. Just like a woman in love looks at her man. I never looked at Emmett the way I looked at Edward.

I went back to the desk and stared at the photo all night. I hoped to hear from Edward again, or have him show up at the gallery, but he never called or came. By Sunday I was desperate to see him again. I was waiting by the door when Emmett knocked.

"Wow," he said when he saw my short, tiny, sundress. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," I said, and grabbed my sweater so we could leave right away. I had purchased a book about art for Carlisle and Emmett was complementary of my choice of gift.

When we got to the house he helped me remove my sweater and let his fingers run along my exposed arms. I was tempted to pull away, but nobody was around so I allowed it. Alice and Jasper met us in the sunroom which was decorated with streamers and balloons. I looked around for Edward but didn't see him anywhere.

Esme came into the room and took my gift from my hands. She told us all to sit and I made sure the empty seat was next to me. Carlisle came into the room and pretended to be very embarrassed by all the attention. I was practically shaking from anticipation when Edward walked into the room.

His hair was a mess and his clothes were wrinkled. Nobody acknowledged his presence so I made a point to say, "Hello Edward."

He turned in his chair and looked at me as if I was a complete stranger. He let his eyes roam slowly down my body and then back to my face. Emmett gave him a disgusted tisk but I wiggled my eyebrows and then smiled. I felt attractive and didn't mind him looking at me.

"You're trying too hard," he said to completely humiliate me.

Emmett reached around me and shoved his chair harshly. Edward chuckled and picked up his spoon and began tapping it against his palm as an instrument. I felt the sting of tears and yelled at myself to hold it together. I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

Emmett put his arm around me protectively and I noticed Edward moved away from me. It was barely perceptual, but I noticed none the less. Esme brought out the food and everyone began chatting. I was keeping my head down and eating slowly and silently. I suddenly felt Edward's leg rub up against mine. I moved my leg away but he moved his even closer.

I picked up my water goblet and looked at Edward as I took a sip. He looked upset and was playing with his food as he sulked. I set my glass down and adjusted my napkin before I let my hand settle on Edward's thigh. I expected him to point it out loudly or push me away in disgust, but it shocked me when he placed his own hand under the tablecloth and took hold of mine, gently resting it on his leg. We ate the entire time that way.


	6. Chapter 6

When everyone began to clear their plates Edward let go of my hand and left the room. He didn't say where he was going and nobody questioned the fact he had left. Esme brought out a cake and we all sang to Carlisle. He began to open his presents when I finally asked, "Where's Edward?"

"He doesn't do birthdays," Alice said, and rolled her eyes at her own words.

"He doesn't participate in family parties?" I asked in shock. I could tell my questions were hurtful to Carlisle and Esme so I tried to change the subject. "My mother is like an eternal child. She loves parties."

Emmett circled his arms around me and said in my ear, "I would love to meet your parents."

I smiled politely without agreeing to anything. I knew my parents would love a guy like Emmett and would find Edward appalling. I would never take him to meet them, since Charlie would surely kick Edward out of his house.

I enjoyed the time with the family and loved watching Carlisle open his gifts. Alice was more excited than her father for each gift he opened. I hated the idea of Edward missing all the fun. When we finally ended up in the media room to watch a movie I excused myself to use the restroom. I looked in the music room for Edward, but he wasn't there. I climbed the stairs and peeking into several rooms before I found one with the lights out and music playing.

I shut the door behind me and saw Edward lying on the bed. "You're lost," he said without looking at me.

"We're going to watch a movie, if you're interested," I said uncomfortably.

"Let me guess, a buff guy is going to blow up things and fuck the dumb, pretty girl. I've seen that movie already," he said with a monotone voice.

"What movies do you like?" I asked.

"The Human Centipede," he answered. I wasn't sure if he was checking to see if I had heard of the movie or if he really liked that horror.

"That's sick," I said under my breath.

"Yes, but it gets you thinking, doesn't it? The stock action shit Hollywood spits out is mind numbing."

"Have you seen Babette's Feast?" I asked and walked closer to his bed.

"No, does she have big tits?"

I stuck my leg out and kicked his bed with my foot. He looked over at me and couldn't stop himself from smiling. It made me smile in response. I affected him, it wasn't much but it was something at least. I looked around the room and asked, "Is this your room?"

He laughed loudly like I had made a joke. I frowned and looked at the ground as he laughed at me. He finally said, "I don't live here, I'm an adult."

"Oh, I didn't…." I stopped talking in case I only made it worse. He scooted to the edge of the bed and sat up and held out his arm for me. I stepped easily to him and he circled his arms around me and rested the top of his head on my stomach.

My pulse was speeding up and I felt totally content in his arms. He sighed deeply and then said, "Bella, go watch your movie."

I wanted to cry in response and beg him to let me stay with him. I came with his brother, but I would willingly leave with him if he would allow it. "Where do you live?" I asked.

His head rose and he looked at me like I had said something very painful for him to hear. He shook his head and said in just a whisper, "You're a little girl, trying to be all grown up."

His assessment of me angered me. He knew nothing of my past or what I was like. "No I'm not," I said adamantly.

He smiled wickedly and suddenly stuck his hand down my dress to grab my breast. I gasped and quickly backed away from him, almost tearing my dress. He laughed so I reached out and slapped him. He stood quickly and grabbed me by my hair. "You want to play rough, Bella? Is this what you're looking for?"

For a moment I was terrified of him, but I saw something in his flat grey eyes that told me what was happening. Edward pushed people away and the more he liked you the harder he pushed. My head was twisted back from his strong hold on my hair, but I looked him right into his eyes and begged softly, "Kiss me."

His expression changed and his hand loosened its hold. He looked absolutely stunned by my request. His eyes darted around my face and he opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't. I took advantage of the moment and put my lips on his to kiss him passionately. He pushed me away and covered his mouth with his fingers.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a shaking voice.

"I wanted you to kiss me," I explained. "I like you Edward, surely you realize it."

He shook his head back and forth angrily. "No," he demanded, "You belong to Emmett; he'll take good care of you."

I was appalled at his declaration and said back to him, "I don't need anyone to take care of me. I don't have feelings for Emmett, I have feelings for you."

He looked right at me and said with pure venom. "Well, get over it." He marched from the room and down the stairs and out the door.

I headed back downstairs and found Emmett waiting for me. He looked at the door Edward had slammed and then back at me. "I invited him to watch the movie with us. He said no."

Emmett put his arm around me and smiled, "I appreciate your effort regarding Edward, but seriously Bella, he's a lost cause."

It was exactly how I felt. Having feelings for Edward was a lost cause. I went back to the media room with Emmett and we watched a typical Hollywood action movie. Emmett and Alice loved it, but I couldn't tell you what it was about. My focus was on Edward's rejection of me. I wanted to be home where I could cry on my bed, but I stared numbly at the screen with Emmett's arm around me.

When we finally left the house Emmett could tell I was in a bad mood. He pulled in front of my apartment building and turned to face me. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

I smiled sheepishly and tried to apologize for my mood. "It's just PMS," I said, to squash any notions he may have had about sex.

He ran his hand through my hair and said, "Are you sure?"

I took a breath and said, "Emmett, if you weren't roommates with Rosalie, would you ever date her?"

He thought for a moment and then shrugged, "I don't know. Why?"

"I just notice the way she looks at you and talks to you. I think she considers you, but knows you won't consider her."

He laughed uncomfortably and then said, "Well, obviously I won't consider her now. I mean, I hope to develop something with you."

I stared into his honest face and said softly, "I don't deserve you."

He moved slowly toward me for a kiss and my mind kept screaming, _Why can't you be Edward_?

I kissed him a few times and then moved to get out of the car. I could see the frustration in Emmett's face and I hated to keep hurting him. I shut the door and waved before heading to my apartment. I went right to my room and fell on the bed to kick and cry from my predicament.

When Jessica came home she looked in my room to see if I was home. I smiled at her but she could see my tearstained face. She came into the room and sat on my bed. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm so stupid," I confessed.

She rubbed my arm and said, "No you aren't."

I heard and noise and looked at my bedroom door. Is Mike with you?" I asked.

Jessica nodded so I used my sheets to wipe my face and then followed her out into the living room. I sat in a chair across from where they were snuggled together and asked, "Do you know Emmett's brother, Edward?"

Mike thought for a moment and said, "Is he the guy who lives at that underground place in the park?"

Jessica laughed at Mike's words but it sounded just like something Edward would do. "Which park?" I asked.

"You know that little bit of wilderness near the freeway entrance toward Enumclaw?" he explained.

I thought for a moment and tried to picture the place he was talking about. I recalled a small cement enclosure, but it wasn't big enough to house anyone. I nodded and Mike continued. "You knock on that little shack and it leads to a home underground."

"He lives underground, like in a cave?" Jessica said as she shuddered at the thought.

I got up and grabbed my keys and headed off to find out for myself. I had to see his living conditions to see if he was truly demented or not. I pulled onto the property and noticed a motorcycle behind the cement building, chained to the wall.

I knocked hard, not knowing if he could hear me or not. I put my ear to the door and could hear the soft sound of music. I knocked again and tried the door, but it was locked. I finally stood back and kicked the door as hard as I could a couple of times.

I could hear someone coming up the stairs and I straightened my dress in preparation for him answering. The door opened slowly and I soon found the end of a revolver pointed at me. I held perfectly still until Edward could figure out who I was.

"What the hell," he exclaimed and lowered the gun.

"Can I come in?" I asked boldly.

He looked around to see if I was alone and then nodded and backed up so I could enter the enclosure. There was a small alcove and then steep stairs leading down. I waited to follow him, but he stayed in the alcove.

"I think we should talk," I said nervously.

"You do," he said with a grin. "Well, go ahead and talk."

I looked at the stairs and said, "Can we sit down?"

He lifted his leg to sit along the top railing and then said, "Okay, talk."

"Damn it Edward, this is difficult for me. I don't go around looking up random guys to confess my feelings to. I think you feel something for me and I want to know if you do."

There, I put it all out there. He couldn't back his way out of the situation and would have to give me an answer. I waited nervously and he stared without saying a word. My heart began to sink and I could feel the tears beginning to form. He wasn't going to admit it, and there was nothing I could do to force him.

I nodded a couple of times and swallowed deeply before giving up. I finally got it. He liked messing with me to take a jab at his perfect brother. He had no feelings for me outside of using me to get at Emmett. I chuckled and shook my head. "You don't have to answer me. I get it now," I said and turned to leave.

I struggled with the heavy metal door and for a second, unable to open it before Edward pushed me out of the way. I thought he was going to open the door so I could leave, but instead he pushed me against the wall. He moved right up against my body, pinning me to the concrete. I could tell he was aroused and I began to breathe in short pants.

He finally grabbed my hand and pressed it against his rock hard penis. I sighed loudly and his eyes lit up brightly. His mouth fell onto mine roughly and his tongue pushed deeply into my throat. His hand let go of mine and ran up my leg and then into my panties.

My phone rang, playing the Monday Night Football song. Edward's hand fell to his side and his mouth moved to my shoulder. He pushed off of me and mumbled, "Goodnight," and headed down the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

7

I wanted to take my phone and throw it against the wall. I left it in my purse and ran down the stairs after Edward. I wanted him to understand I was his, not Emmett's. I wasn't sure what I expected to see in his house. I thought it would be dark and dreary, possibly filthy, but I was stunned to see it was a large cavernous art studio with a small bed in a corner.

I gasped at the sight of all the paintings. They were beautiful portraits and landscapes. My eyes were drawn to a painting on an easel. I walked closer to see my own face staring back at me. I looked at the man holding me in his arms and saw Emmett's face.

I turned to look at Edward and he was sitting on his bed with his head hanging low. I walked over and said honestly, "You are so talented. Does your family know you're an artist?"

He looked a bit tormented and then said, "I'm not an artist. This is just messing around."

"No, this is art, and I should know, I'm an art critic after all," I said, and made him smile.

He pulled me in front of him again and let his forehead rest against me. "Bella, I'm really messed up. You need a normal guy. I'm not trying to spare my brother. I'm being honest with you."

I slowly fell down to my knees and looked him in the eyes. I ran my hand through his hair to move it from his face. "Messed up how?" I asked him.

The pain on his face was hard to witness. I wasn't sure if he didn't know how to explain what he meant, or if he refused to do it. He finally pushed me away and said, "Go home Bella, I don't want you here."

"I don't believe you," I said in response. "There is something between us and you can't pretend there isn't. I'm Emmett's friend and that's all."

"Yeah, well excuse me if I don't want to fuck you after him," he said hatefully.

His anger and meanness brought me to my senses. I walked over to the stairs and said, "I've never had sex with Emmett, so get your facts straight."

Edward's head shot up to see if I was being serious. I angrily wiped a tear from my face and walked up the stairs to get my purse and fight with the door. I finally got it open and got in my car and drove away without closing it.

I took a shower and got in bed when Emmett called again. I answered with an attitude and he chuckled, "I called to see if you were feeling better, but I guess not."

I broke into tears and said, "Emmett, why do you keep calling me? Is it the challenge you like or what?"

He was quiet for a moment and then said, "Bella, I said I would give you time."

"Why?" I demanded. "Rosalie is crazy about you, why aren't you interested in giving her your time?"

Emmett finally hit his breaking point. He angrily said, "Maybe I will." Then he hung up on me. I tossed my phone and rolled over to get some sleep. I stared at the wall in front of me and tried to figure out how to forget Edward. There was something messed up about him, but nobody would tell me exactly what it was. I finally decided I would confront Alice.

The next day I searched campus for her and found her with Rosalie. I interrupted their conversation and said, "Excuse me, but can I have a moment alone with Alice."

Rosalie looked aghast at my forwardness but reluctantly walked away. I grabbed Alice's hand and pulled her to an empty bench. "What's wrong?" she asked with scared eyes.

"I need you to tell me what is wrong with Edward," I demanded.

"Edward?" she asked with confusion.

"Yes, Edward. Everyone talks about him like there is an issue. Exactly what is the issue?"

Alice huffed and slumped down on the bench. She finally said, "Edward has been diagnosed with mild antisocial personality disorder. Although I disagree with the word mild," she chuckled.

"What's that?" I asked in confusion.

"He's manipulating, unremorseful, charming, arrogant, totally annoying." She rattled off the description like it was something she had done many times before. I stared at her and tried to find even a hint of compassion for her brother.

"He can't help it, right?" I asked.

"I guess not, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with," she admitted.

I could tell she was embarrassed by her brother so I brought up his talent. "Have you seen his paintings?"

Alice furrowed her brow and then said, "Paintings? Did he buy them or steal them?"

She was completely unaware of Edward's talent and I wondered why he never shared it with anyone. Maybe their relationship had been so damaged over the years he didn't feel comfortable exposing himself so completely. I dropped the subject and confessed something else. "Alice, Emmett should give Rosalie a chance. I think they would be a great match."

She looked over to where Rose had gone and then back at me. "Aren't you with Emmett?"

I couldn't help myself and tears formed. I shook my head and said, "Emmett is a great guy, but I just don't have romantic feelings for him." I hesitated and then added, "But I do for Edward."

"EDWARD?" she gasped loudly. "Are you serious?"

"I'm afraid so," I admitted.

She gave an uncomfortable laugh and then grabbed her head as if trying to make sense of it all. They were both her brothers but she couldn't fathom anyone finding something likable about Edward. I stood and she reached out for my hand. "Does Edward know?" she asked me.

"Yes, but Emmett doesn't. I'll tell him today."

"Wait," she begged me, "So what did Edward say? I've never known him to be in a relationship."

I felt more tears fall and I said, "Edward isn't looking for a relationship."

She nodded in understanding and then let me walk away. I felt like the secret that had been eating away at me was finally free. I pulled out my phone and tried to call Emmett, but he didn't answer. I left a message for him to call me and then blew off my classes. I went into work early and looked at all the artwork, I mean really looked at it this time.

The woman still working came over to talk to me. "Why are you here so early?"

"You know, this stuff really is crap. I know a local artist whose work is much better," I said and moved to the next picture.

"You should tell him to have a showing here. I bet Mr. Banner would go for it."

I couldn't imagine Edward talking to people about his artwork without insulting them somehow. I nodded as if I would really ask him, but I wasn't so sure. I finally turned to her and said, "You can go if you want. I'll clock in."

Her face lit up and she quickly grabbed her purse and headed out of the gallery. I sat at the desk and got out my phone. I brought up the picture Edward took of us together and stared at his face. I wasn't sure if he could even understand what it was like to feel something for someone. Maybe it was beyond his capabilities.

The bell over the door rang and I looked up to see Emmett. His face was somber which was unusual for him. I waited at the desk and he walked over before smiling slightly. "I talked with Alice," he said.

"I'm sorry," I offered, and he shook his head to stop me from apologizing.

"I've been pretty hard headed and refused to take no for an answer. You've been straight with me all along."

I knew he didn't come all the way downtown to tell me he was giving up. I knew he wanted to talk about Edward and waited for him to bring up the subject. He tapped his knuckles on the desk a couple of times and then said, "Bella, about Edward."

I nodded for him to continue since I expected it.

"You just need to realize Edward is not someone you can save. He isn't who you think he is."

I disagreed with Emmett. I saw more of the real Edward than he thought I had. I knew he had the soul of an artist no matter how difficult it was for him to let it show. I finally interrupted him and said, "Emmett, I see something good in your brother. I know there is also a lot of bad, but there is some good too."

"He'll only hurt you," he said as a warning.

"I know," I admitted, because he already had. "I'm not trying to cause any problems within your family."

"No, my family is cool," he said, and I had to admit they really were. If I was smart I would like the golden child, but my heart just couldn't go there.

I never thought of myself as a rebel or someone who purposefully chooses the unique thing. I was an obedient child and never caused a rift. Edward was exciting and dangerous, and I wanted him more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.

He finally gave me a dimple filled smile and said, "Well, I'll talk to Edward for you."

I wasn't quite sure what it meant, but I smiled in return and hoped he would convince his brother to give us a try. He left the gallery and I felt relief spread through me. Maybe Emmett and I really could be friends.

When it was time to close up I headed home with half a thought to go by Edward's place, but it was all in his hands now and I needed to wait and see what he decided to do. I got home and was relaxing in a hot tub when Edward called. I picked up after the first ring, sloshing water over the side of the tub.

"Hello," I said anxiously.

"Are you insane?" he asked angrily.

I lay back in the bathtub and waited for him to continue. "You don't pass up a guy like Emmett. You grab onto a guy like that and hang on for as long as you can."

"Like a tick?" I asked.

He paused and then laughed loudly. "Yes, like a blood sucking tick, which most women are."

"Maybe you should date men, if we're so terrible," I suggested.

"My ass is for output only," he said to paint a graphic picture.

I wasn't sure what came over me but I admitted, "I'm taking a bath right now."

He got quiet and then said, "I'm masturbating now."

"God Edward, you can have an unexpressed thought," I said adamantly.

He growled lowly and said, "Believe me, I'm filtering."

I smiled, growing brave in the disconnect of a phone conversation and said, "Okay, I'll masturbate with you."

His breathing became very loud and it really was turning me on. I let my hand fall into the water and I applied pressure where my body was aching. I moaned loudly and he began speaking very softly. I had to hold my own breath to hear him.

"God, I want you," he whispered. "I want to be deep inside of you."

"Yes," I said in return and made my own adjustments with my hand.

"Can you feel me?" he asked. "I'm doing you so hard."

"Yes," I repeated.

"Son of a….." I could hear his phone drop as he cried out in loud screams. His passion filled rant was full of filthy words mixed with my name. It was the fact he said my name I concentrated on.

I waited patiently for him to come back to the phone. I could hear him get up and clean himself up before picking up the receiver. "Bella?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"You were great," he chuckled, and I laughed with him.

"I aim to please," I said.

"Did you get off," he asked crudely.

"No, it's not really my thing," I admitted shyly.

"Sex?"

"No masturbation."

"Isn't that sex?" he pushed, and I could tell we were in for a heated discussion again.

"I guess, if you like having sex by yourself. I prefer a partner."

"I'll have sex with you," he offered and then added, "At the gallery."

I actually chocked a bit and sat up in the tub. Was he joking or would he really have sex in public? I managed to say, "The gallery may be slow but people do come in fairly often."

"So," he said loudly.

"So I don't want to lose my job."

Out of the blue he suddenly said, "I'll see you later, bye." And hung up the phone.


	8. Chapter 8

8

I didn't know if it was my lack of adventure that made him change his mind or if he had gotten the release he needed and moved on to something else that caught his attention. I was so frustrated and spent the night tossing and turning with my own pent up desires.

I made it to classes the next day and saw Emmett and Rose from a distance huddled together talking. I really hoped it worked out for them. I headed home to work on a paper I had due but kept checking my phone to see if I had missed Edward. He never called.

I finally forced myself to take a nap before work and ended up twenty minutes late. Mrs. Cope didn't care I had shown up early plenty of times, she was still angry I was late. She rushed out the door and I opened my computer to work on my paper some more.

I let the time slip away and when the bell over the door sounded I was stunned to see it was dark outside. Edward gave me an awkward nod with his head and walked slowly up to my desk. He acted embarrassed or maybe he was just unsure about himself.

I gave him a big smile and shut my laptop. "It's good to see you," I offered.

He didn't respond and came to my side of the desk and began unhooking his pants. "That's not funny," I said and looked away.

He lowered his jeans and scooted back onto my desk and took hold of my arm. "Edward, this isn't going to happen."

He ignored me and pulled me out of my chair and put his hand behind my head to hold me tightly to his mouth. His kiss was nothing like it was before. It wasn't aggressive but sensual. As I melted into him he used his other hand to pull down my jeans. I moved back but he slid off the desk and pulled me tightly against his body.

My head was swimming. I was growing very excited by him and the thought people were possibly seeing us added to the excitement. I finally gave in to him and he lowered my jeans and panties and then pushed me to bend me over the desk. I reached out with my hands to hold onto the edge of the desk and I stared forward to look out the gallery window. People were walking by but only paused to look at the pictures in the window.

Edward was surprisingly gentle when he entered me. I let my head fall onto the desk and sighed. He pulled tightly on my hips and I gave him total control. Soon I was panting and moaning loudly. Edward leaned his body over mine and spoke into my ear. "I'm going to get rough now," he said.

All I could do is nod, way beyond the ability to speak. He grabbed my hair, making sure his hold was firm but not painful. He bent his legs to thrust deeper inside of me. I was totally unaware of where I was and all I could feel was Edward. I exploded into a mass of convulsions stronger than I had ever experienced causing Edward to follow right behind me.

He collapsed on top of me pinning me to the desk as he caught his breath. I suddenly became very self-conscious. I wasn't the type of girl who had sex with a guy in public. I usually demanded a relationship and made sure the guy made love to me, not simply serviced me.

Edward finally moved to dispose of his condom and I quickly pulled my pants back up. I was afraid to look at the window in case there was a crowd of people staring in shock. I looked at Edward and felt my face blush.

He had a blank expression. I couldn't tell what he was thinking and it embarrassed me. He headed to the door and I called out for him. When he turned I licked my dry lips and said, "Mr. Banner said you could have a showing here at the gallery."

He laughed and said, "I think I just did."

I rolled my eyes at his inference and then qualified by saying, "You can show your paintings."

"Why would I do that?" he asked bluntly.

"So people can see your work, and appreciate it. You're very talented."

He simply laughed and walked out the door. I stared in shock at the exit. I couldn't believe what just happened and wondered how he could just walk away. I wanted him to hold me and say sweet things. I felt cheap and used and I tried very hard not to cry.

I picked up my phone and called Alice. When she answered I broke into sobs and couldn't speak. "Oh Bella, I knew he would do this," she said with her own sorrow. "Where are you and I'll come right over."

"I'm at work, the Banner gallery downtown," I cried.

She hung up and rushed right over. I did something I had never done while working there and I locked the door. I should have done it when Edward came, but I obviously wasn't thinking clearly. I fell into Alice's open arms and she rubbed my back as I cried. "I tried to warn you," she said to make me feel even worse.

"I am so stupid," I cried. "I love him and I have no idea why."

She pulled back and looked at me in surprise. I tried to smile but I ended up dissolving into tears again. "Bella, my mom's not too far from here, may I call her and have her come over. She'll be able to explain Edward a lot better than me."

I wasn't about to tell Esme about what happened between me and her son, but I needed the comfort only a mother could provide. I nodded and she sat me back in my chair and then moved to the far side of the room to whisper softly to her mother.

I put my head on the desk and when Alice finished with the call she came over to rub my head. Esme arrived in less than five minutes. She gave Alice a hug and waited for her to leave the gallery before relocking the door and coming over to me.

"I first want to know if you are truly okay, were you hurt in any way?" she inquired.

"No, not physically," I said, "But I'm humiliated and so confused."

She smiled gently and motioned for me to sit back down. She leaned on my desk and waited for me to say something. "I can't help how I feel," I said with an inadvertent whiny tone. I felt like she wanted me to apologize or something.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"I see something inside of Edward and it pulls me to him. There is a tenderness deep down and it comes out in his art, I've seen it at his house."

Esme looked a bit perplexed and said, "I've been to his place and I've never seen any art."

I smiled and said, "He's so talented."

Esme smiled in return and then said, "Edward has a personality disorder that began at a very young age. He doesn't feel remorse or guilt and it is difficult for him to empathize with others. We've tried to get him help, but he just sold the medication the psychiatrist prescribed. We have no idea how he makes a living, but we suspect he sells drugs or some other illegal activity."

I was beginning to believe Edward would never feel for me what I felt for him. I was sinking deeper into despair when Esme said, "Bella, Edward has never responded to a person like he has with you. But I have to warn you it will take a load of patients to deal with him. I'm afraid you will be humiliated and confused a lot if you stick with him."

"He's different with me?" I asked shyly.

"Oh yes," she smiled. "He talks about you all the time. But you need to set firm limits with him. Edward can be very charismatic."

I wasn't about to tell her I just found that out first hand. He got me to do something I would never allow another man to do. I nodded and remained silent about what happened earlier this evening. She reached into her purse and pulled out her business card. "You can call me at any time to talk or for advice."

"Thank you," I said, trying to sound as grateful as I felt.

She held my chin with her hand and smiled earnestly at me. "You are a remarkable young woman Bella Swan."

I watched her walk out the door and wondered if I would ever find the confidence in myself that she possessed. I closed up the gallery and went home early. I showered, put on a full length flannel nightgown in attempt to reclaim a bit of my innocence and then went to bed.

My phone rang at eleven and I answered to hear loud laughing and talking behind Edward's soft voice. "Where are you?" I asked him.

"I'm in Port Angeles," he confessed.

I instantly thought of my dad and hoped he wasn't doing anything illegal that would make the small town cops know who he was. "Did you ride your motorcycle?" I asked, since it was pouring rain outside.

"A chick wants me to stay, but I'm going to leave," he said without any hesitation.

I wasn't sure how to respond. Did he expect praise from me or a quick tongue lashing? I replied, "Okay."

He covered the phone with his hand and said, "No, I want cash."

I closed my eyes and tried to steady my emotions. "Edward, what are you doing in Port Angeles?" I asked calmly.

"Getting rid of some shit, don't tell anyone," he said and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Be careful coming home. The roads are dark and wet," I said.

"Yeah, well, bye," he said and hung up the phone.

I shook my head against my pillow and wondered what in the hell I was doing. What was it about him that made me even consider a relationship with him. He was blunt and thoughtless. I knew it was a matter of time before he hurt me badly.

I finally fell asleep and someone shaking my arm woke me up. I looked up at Jess and she said, "Some guy is here to see you. He won't go away."

I jumped from my bed and went to the door to find Edward standing there soaking wet. I motioned for him to come in and asked, "How did you know where I lived?"

"Emmett told me the building and the people downstairs told me which apartment," he stated proudly.

"What time is it?" I asked and looked over at the microwave to see it was two-thirty in the morning. "You woke up the people downstairs?" I gasped.

"So, I needed to know where you lived," he said without any concern for the time.

"Come on," I said and pulled him to my room. "You've got to be freezing in those wet clothes."

He quickly began pulling them off, even his boxers and got into my bed. His wet hair soaked my pillow so I went to the closet and got another one. I pulled him into my arms to warm his cold body and he was sound asleep within moments.

I stared at his face as I struggled to understand him. He looked so childlike as he slept, and I wondered just how difficult it was for him to understand the world around him. I saw the beauty and happiness he felt in his paintings, but I wondered if he was even aware of it.

His mouth puckered just a bit and his jaw line was pronounced as he slept peacefully. I moved my lips to his forehead and kissed him softly. He didn't stir so I whispered very softly, "I love you, Edward Cullen."

Then I closed my eyes and faded back to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

9

I woke up the next morning for class and went into the bathroom to get ready. I tried to be as quiet as possible and Edward never stirred. I picked up his clothes off the floor and stuck them in the dryer as I ate breakfast. I then laid them out on my chair and left a note saying he could stay as long as he wanted and I would be back at one.

I returned home to find the place empty. He didn't leave a note and he hadn't tried to call me. I tried to let it slide and focused on some homework until time to head to work. I was adamant if he showed up at the gallery I would not let anything happen between us.

He never came and he never called. Finally after three days I sent him a text. _I miss you._

My phone rang and I quickly answered it. I could hear music playing loudly and he moved so it began to fade into the background. "Are you mad?" he asked.

"About what? No, I'm not mad. I just haven't seen you and I miss you," I tried to explain.

"Oh," he said, as if confused.

I thought for a moment and then asked, "Do I have a reason to be mad?"

I prepared myself for his response. I was terrified he would tell me he had just finished having sex with a woman in a club restroom. Instead he said, "I lost my motorcycle key."

"Do you need a ride anywhere?" I asked, and wondered if he lost it recently or three days ago.

"No," he chuckled. "Where are you?"

"I'm at home," I said, and then felt like a loser for being home on a Friday night.

"Okay, bye," he said and hung up. I stared at the phone in shock. He didn't say if he was coming over or not. I got prepared just in case and ended up sitting alone in my room for three hours. When the doorbell rang I jumped up and rushed to the door.

Edward looked gorgeous in his skinny jeans and plain black t-shirt. He leaned against the doorframe and smiled in a way that set my body on fire. I couldn't resist him and grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him passionately. He responded and moved me into the apartment and against the wall.

His hands wandered freely and I let my leg rise to his hip to feel him where I needed him. "Do you want me to fuck you here?" he asked with just a breath.

I pulled back and tried to calm down. It was time to set some limits and I would start right now. "Can we talk for a second first?" He shrugged, as if either activity was fine with him. I led him into my room and set him in a chair.

"Edward, I think we need to have some…rules."

"Oh God," he groaned and looked so disappointed. I was tempted to back out of the conversation but I knew it was too crucial to skip.

"I don't like it when you talk crudely to me. I mean once in awhile is okay, but not when I'm trying to show you how much I care for you."

"What did I say?" he asked in shock.

"What you just asked me in the hallway. It was offensive."

He looked over at the door and then back at me. "Offensive, I just asked you where you wanted me to fuck you, how is that offensive?"

I sighed loudly and moved to my knees in front of him. "It was the way you said it. You can ask without profanity. When you talk so bluntly it makes me feel cheap."

"I thought I was being polite by asking," he said in confusion.

"You were," I assured him. "But you can ask if I would like to go to my bed instead of the way you said it."

He glanced at the bed and then back at me. "Okay," he said without any other comment.

I decided to take the discussion even further. "I would also like to hear from you more often. It isn't that I don't trust you or I'm clingy, I just enjoy talking to you and seeing you."

He rubbed his eyes as if I had just asked him to begin looking at diamonds. He finally let his hands fall and he said, "I get sidetracked. I get a plan in my head, but stuff comes up all the time."

"That's fine. You can text me or make a quick call. I just want to know you're okay and that I matter to you."

His eyes softened and he put his hands into my hair. He spoke softly and his demeanor was so different from how it usually was. "You matter," he said, to send my heart into my throat.

I climbed onto his lap and kissed him softly. "I like hearing I matter," I admitted.

He moved my head so my neck was exposed and began kissing and nibbling on it. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation as he moved lower to my breast. He finally mumbled against my skin, "Do you want to go to your bed?"

I smiled and opened my eyes to look down at him. He grabbed onto my thighs and thrusts his pelvis as he said, "Or I could give it to you good right here."

At least there wasn't any profanity so it was a step in the right direction, a small step, but a step all the same. I moved off of his lap and he quickly disposed of his jeans and boxers. I got undressed and crawled up onto my bed. He stood over me and looked up and down my body. I felt so exposed and fearful he was going to make some stark observation to embarrass me.

"You should be naked all the time," he said, and then moved to lie on top of me.

"I only want to be naked for you," I said, and wrapped my legs around him.

He looked at me for a moment and then shook his head back and forth. "I don't get it Bella, why me?"

I had asked myself that very question many times. It wasn't something I could explain or breakdown into rational conversation. I was drawn to him and I felt like I needed to him to breathe. I shrugged and said, "The moment I saw you I felt something. The more I get to know you the deeper I feel it."

He let his head fall to mine and he kept his eyes opened as he looked at me up close. "I'm afraid you'll begin to see me. It is like you're blind now, but something could happen and then you'll see me."

I held his face with my hands and said, "I'm not blind. I see you and I'm crazy about you."

"Am I going to ruin it?" he asked in the voice of a terrified child. I shook my head steadfastly and watched his eyes fill with tears. It was the most emotion I had seen from him, as if holding him tightly so nothing could draw his mind away helped him feel my love for him.

He kissed me lovingly causing my legs to tighten around him. I managed to move to where it would only take the slightest movement and we would be connected. He quickly pulled away and said in a panic, "Not without a condom. I'm not getting stuck with a fucking baby."

"I'm on the pill," I told him, hoping it would ease his mind, but I also needed to realize I wasn't sure I could trust him yet and maybe a condom would be a wise thing.

"Yeah, well, women lie about shit like that," he said and grabbed a condom from his jeans.

I sat up and looked directly at his face. "Excuse me," I said, "But I don't lie about shit like that."

I was furious at his insinuation and wanted him to know if we had an issue with lying it wasn't going to be coming from my end. He totally ignored me and climbed back into the bed. I grabbed the condom from his hand and said, "Look at me, Edward. I am not lying about the pill. If you want to use a condom fine, but I'm not lying to you."

He rolled onto his back and put his hands behind his head. "You can put it on me," he said with a grin.

I sat there with the wrapper in my hand as he displayed a full erection and I felt like someone doused me in ice water. I dropped it on his chest and said, "Put it on yourself."

He picked it up and opened it with his teeth, fully intending to put it on and have sex. He was clueless to my anger at the moment. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. "I'm taking a shower," I said angrily and slammed the door.

I had used the shampoo and was adding the conditioner to my hair when the shower door opened and Edward stepped in. I noticed he was not wearing the condom. He took hold of my hands and raised them over my head before pushing me against the wall.

His lower body remained back and away from me, but his hand kept my arms over my head. His free hand ran down my stomach and then stopped between my legs. His head dropped and his eyes closed as if concentrating on his movement. I was losing control quickly when he suddenly let go of my hands and dropped to his knees to move one of my legs over his shoulder.

His tongue continued what his fingers had been doing and I cried out in total pleasure. I grabbed onto the soap rack with one hand and his hair with the other. My body was moving with a will all of its own as he took me higher and higher. I suddenly arched back and every muscle clinched in absolute bliss. He kissed his way up my body to my mouth and then pulled me tightly into his arms.

I wasn't a virgin, but I had never been one to experiment sexually. Edward brought out a different side of me and I couldn't seem to get enough of him. I wanted to make him feel the way he just made me feel. I said into his ear, "Tell me what to do for you."

"I like it deep in your throat and fast," he said and put his hands out to the wall to brace himself. I reluctantly moved to my knees, not sure I could actually pull this off.

He was already breathing quickly and I stared at his penis with fear. There was no way I was getting that much down my throat. I finally decided to give Edward something he wasn't expecting. Women probably gave him hard, fast sex all the time, but I would make it slow and very tender.

I reached out to wrap my hand around his phallus and then gently kissed it before letting my tongue run lightly around the head. He moaned and his knees buckled a little before he got control. I continued to tease and offer soft bites as his hips began to thrust on their own. I pushed him against the glass of the shower to hold him still and continued the slow methodical movements in and out of my mouth.

Every time he tried to thrust I held him still and refused to speed up. He finally pushed me away and covered his dick with his hand as he shot into his palm. It surprised me that he would push me away and I wondered if maybe he was disappointed in me. I looked at his face as I stood and he returned my gaze with his eyes opened wide. "Oh my God," he said and pulled me to his mouth and kissed me aggressively. I smiled widely as he kissed me, feeling proud of myself and happy I made him feel loved.

Now, if he just wouldn't say anything to ruin it.


	10. Chapter 10

10

That Sunday Edward asked me to attend brunch with his family. I was a bit nervous since Emmett and I would be in the same room, but we had to get over the awkwardness sooner or later. I agreed and when Edward informed me he would be coming to get me on his motorcycle I made sure to have on jeans and my hair in a ponytail.

We were the last to arrive and when we entered the house Edward walked straight to the sitting room. Emmett and Rose were on one sofa and Jasper and Alice were on the other. Edward sat in a chair and when I sat on the arm he pulled me onto his lap with my feet dangling over the side.

He held my chin with his fingers and studied my face as if looking for something. He spoke softly as if we were the only two people in the room. "You look really pretty," he said.

"Thank you," I replied, although I was very underdressed compared to the other two women.

He reached out with his finger and touched my eyelashes. I moved away and said, "What are you doing?"

"Do you have on that stuff that makes your lashes black?" he asked, and he tried to look closer.

"No, my lashes are naturally dark, I don't wear mascara," I told him.

He glanced at Rose who had on a lot of makeup and I worried about what he would blurt out. He looked back at me and then said, "Sometimes it hard for me to see what is genuine, but you're real and I like it."

I smiled at his attempt to explain what he was feeling so I repeated, "Thank you."

Alice and Rose finally began to talk and the room commenced with conversation as Edward and I remained in our own little bubble. He kept touching my lips and my eyes and running his finger down my nose. It was intimate without being sexual. I felt like he had taken a huge step forward.

When Esme called everyone to the sunroom we all stood. Rose had on a shirt that dipped down to reveal her very impressive cleavage. Emmett made sure to look before holding out his hand for hers. Edward laughed and said, "Man, her tits are huge."

Emmett spun around, ready to take on his brother when I put my hand up and said, "He not being disrespectful, he is just making an observation."

Rosalie pretended to act offended but I noticed she thrust her chest out just a hint more as Emmett put his arm around her. I kept Edward in the room after the others left and said, "Okay listen, don't comment on Rosalie at all, or Alice for that matter."

He nodded in agreement and I turned to walk away but spun back around and added, "Or me."

"You have perfect tits," he said with a chuckle and I shook my head in defeat.

When we came to the table I noticed how hopeful Carlisle and Esme look at the two of us. I doubt they ever thought Edward would have someone with him for family brunch. They asked Rosalie a few questions to make her feel welcome and then Esme brought out the food. Edward picked up a piece of cantaloupe and brought it up to my mouth. I took it and smiled at him.

The entire table was silent and staring at us. I let my head drop with embarrassment and Edward stabbed some eggs with a fork and held it out for me. He was totally oblivious to the others at the table. I wished I was able to tune them out as well as Edward, but I shook my head at his offering and picked up my own fork.

"Are you all ready for finals?" Carlisle asked, and we all groaned.

Edward slumped down in his chair and said, "Not me, I'm too stupid for college."

My head instantly turned to look at him and I said, "You're not stupid, Edward. God, you have more talent than anyone I know."

"Yeah, we all know what his talent is," Emmett said, and him and Alice laughed.

I glared at Emmett and said, "You don't have a clue."

"Then why don't you enlighten us?" he challenged me.

I had to admit Edward's family didn't seem to know he was an artist. I wasn't sure if it was something I should talk about or if it would anger him. I finally settled with, "Just because he doesn't like a sport doesn't mean he isn't talented in other areas."

"You're right," Emmett said and raised his glass to me. "Nobody gets their ass kicked as well as Edward."

Carlisle cleared his throat and gave Emmett and warning glare. Edward looked almost amused at the exchange and I wondered why he never jumped into the conversation. I protectively placed my foot between his and he put his hand on my thigh.

We were all right in the middle of eating when Edward jumped up and grabbed my arm. "Come on," he said, "I want to show you something."

I looked around the table at the anxious faces and could tell they would be more relaxed if Edward left the room. I put my napkin on my plate and followed him down the hallway. He went into the music room and sat at the piano.

"Are you going to play me a song?" I asked.

"I don't know how to really play," he admitted. "I just mess around."

"Have you ever taken lessons?" I pressed, thinking it would be a great outlet for him.

"No, but you know how you can look at something and you can feel it, like a nude body makes you feel a certain way?"

I chuckled and then said, "I guess."

"Well, I wanted to show you what I feel when I'm with you," he said, and turned to the keys.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting, maybe a pop song or a one handed rendition of a silly tune, but when he began to play my mouth literally fell open. It was purposeful and he played with so much emotion it overwhelmed me. He was right, I could feel the song.

People didn't possess the type of talent Edward had and be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. Something didn't fit and I was determined to find out what it was. I waited for him to finish before I wiped the tears from my face. I was speechless and couldn't find the words to say what I wanted, so I simply walked over and kissed him.

"Edward, you have to do something with your talents. You're amazing and they shouldn't remain uncovered," I begged him.

He looked at me as if I had just given him the weather and said, "Can we have sex on the piano?"

"Here," I gasped, "Now?"

He nodded and scooted the bench out so I quickly moved away from him. "Edward, this is your parents' home and your family is here."

He didn't even bother looking at the open door and said, "They never come to find me. It is better when I'm out of the room."

My heart broke for him. They couldn't understand him so it was easier to pretend he didn't exist. I never wanted him to feel I would be happier without him so I walked over and stood in front of him. He began to remove my jeans but left my shirt intact. He opened his pants and then lay back on the bench to put on the condom. I reached out and took it from him.

I stood straddled over him and when I got the condom in place and let my hands hold onto the bench at the side of his head. I didn't have to bend my knees, just widen my stance to accommodate him. He scooted down until his head hung over the seat and moaned loudly. I closed my eyes and replayed the beautiful tune in my head as we made Sunday brunch absolutely perfect.

Edward was right, nobody came to look for us and we spent the entire afternoon alone in the music room. When we finally decided to leave we said a quick goodbye and got onto his bike. I decided to invite myself over to his place, since he never invited me.

"Can we go to your house?" I asked.

He put on his helmet without commenting and then started the bike. I held onto him tightly and closed my eyes as the wind rushed around me. I lost track of the stops and turns we took but the trip seemed to be taking a long time. He finally pulled into a driveway and turned off the bike.

I looked up to see a gorgeous log cabin in front of me. "Where are we?" I asked.

"You wanted to come to my house," he said in confusion.

"I thought you lived underground?" I asked, completely misunderstanding what was going on.

"No, I paint there, I live here," he said and pushed me so I would get off the bike.

I followed him up the steps to a large wrap around porch and looked out at the forest. I couldn't see another house anywhere. I wondered if Edward purposefully chose to live so far from other people because he knew they wouldn't understand him.

He unlocked the door and I followed him into a state of the art, expensive home. I gasped and waited for him to turn and look at me. He didn't have a job and he didn't get help from his parents, so something nefarious was going on. I waved my arm around the room and said, "Edward, how to you afford a home like this?"

"I manage," he said with a shrug.

I watched him carefully and asked, "What are you, a drug dealer?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and then changed the subject. I knew we were not at the point yet I could demand he change whatever it was he was doing. I needed to let him know he could trust me and I wouldn't give up on him first.

I walked around the place to get a better view. It was a single level with vaulted ceilings. I saw two bedrooms but I didn't open any doors on the other side of the living room. "Do you have roommates?" I asked him.

"No, just me," he said, and I nodded as I remained standing.

I looked around from where I stood and then asked, "Why don't you participate in family birthdays?"

"They're stupid," he said and walked over to fall onto the couch.

"They're supposed to be stupid. Did you ever have a birthday party as a child?"

He laughed and said, "No, I didn't have friends. I was pretty much kicked out of every school I attended."

I walked over and sat on the edge of his sofa and said, "I'm sorry; it must have been very difficult for you."

He picked up my hand and placed one of my fingers in his mouth as he said, "I didn't care."

I watched him suck lightly on my finger and then I decided to ask some very personal questions about his past sexual history. "How many girlfriends have you had?"

"None," he said quickly.

"Well, at least one," I corrected him, "Me."

He pulled my finger away from his mouth, which alone should say something, and said, "You're my girlfriend?"

I suddenly felt very stupid and knew my face was turning red. I had assumed we were in a relationship and had been acting like it for days now. I tried to back pedal and began to stammer. He adjusted himself on the couch and then said, "So we're not just screwing around?"


	11. Chapter 11

11

Everything in Edward's life seemed to be so halfhearted and without purpose. He didn't really play the piano, he didn't really paint, and he slept with me but didn't know I was his girlfriend. I decided I needed to get a professional opinion on how to deal with Edward.

I made an appointment with the dean of the psychology department and showed up with a list of questions. Dr. Zonis was a large, intimidating man with a head full of white hair. His blue eyes were piercing and I felt a bit uneasy as I asked him things. I asked what the difference between being mildly antisocial and fully antisocial. He told me most fully antisocial people end up in prison. Being diagnosed with a mild case would make a person appear normal at times and then disconnected at other times.

He asked me if Edward got into fights, had substance abuse problems, and if he lied a lot. I tried to answer, but I hadn't really known him very long. I mentioned his talent with art and music and the professor sat back to contemplate my words.

"I took part in a study a few years ago," he said almost to himself. "I would really like to meet your friend." I wasn't sure Edward would agree to come meet a psychology professor, especially since he viewed himself as stupid for not going to college. I promised to try but I didn't hold out much hope.

I went to work that evening and began to run a fever. By the time my shift was over I felt like death. I made my way to the campus infirmary and received some strong antibiotic for a sinus infection and was told to rest. I wasn't sure how much rest I was going to get with finals staring me in the face.

I made it home and took some Tylenol and got into bed. My phone rang but I didn't have the energy to answer it. The next morning I drug myself from my bed and loaded up on meds to make it to class. I tried to listen to the review for our final test but my stuffy head made it difficult.

I decided to go home and study on my own. I sent off a text to Edward telling him I wasn't feeling well and the only response I got was a text telling me he was in Spokane. I was too sick to worry about what would take him to Spokane and how he got there. I pushed it from my mind and tried to study as I remained in bed.

The next day I felt well enough to head to classes, the last day before finals. I was stuffed up and sounded very nasally. I went to work and used an entire box of Kleenex as I made a last ditch effort to cram. I was headed home for the night when Angela called me.

"Hi, I'm coming home, I'm beat," I said breathing through my mouth.

"Did you let some artist paint you?" she asked. I immediately thought of the picture Edward painted of me and Emmett.

"Why?" I asked.

"I was at this little boutique in Bellevue and they have a painting of you hanging in their store."

"Are you sure it just doesn't resemble me?" I asked.

"No, this is you, but wearing period clothing as if you were a French courtesan."

"Who was the artist?" I asked.

"It was signed by E. Masen. The woman said they paid five thousand dollars for it," she giggled and then added, "You're famous Bella."

"Um…I'm going to stop by Edward's for a bit and I'll be home soon," I said, and then drove right to the cement shack. I saw his motorcycle chained to the wall but I knew he wasn't delivering art with that thing.

I kicked on the door and when I heard him coming I yelled out, "Edward, its Bella."

He opened the door as he cleaned paint off of his hands. "When did you get back from Spokane?" I asked.

He furrowed his forehead when he heard the sound of my voice and said, "Don't kiss me when we fu…do it, I don't want that cold."

He had a serious look on his face as I shook my head in disbelief. I finally pushed past him and rushed down the steps. I ran right up to the nearest painting and looked at the signature…E. Masen.

I spun around and yelled, "You're a successful artist. You sell your art all over the state, don't you?"

"Sometimes out of state," he said bluntly with no emotion or sense of my anger.

"God Edward, your family thinks you're a drug dealer," I screamed and he only laughed. It didn't bother him at all that they had no idea who he was. It dawned on me I didn't know him either.

"You afford your house by selling art," I observed and he quickly corrected me.

"No, I invest the money I make on the art. If I watch the trends closely there's a pattern I can see and double my money."

I stared at him as my heart pounded furiously. He was playing the market and winning, something was terribly wrong with his diagnosis. "Edward," I said with my stuffed up voice. "There is someone I want you to see at the university."

He took a step away from me and looked a bit scared. "I'm not taking medication," he said forcefully.

"No, it isn't like that. He wants to talk to you because something isn't right with your diagnosis. I mean some of it seems right, but some of it is totally…off."

He walked over to sit on the small bed in the corner. He was staring down as if the idea of seeing someone scared him. He finally said, "Bella, I can't be like Emmett. You should have chosen him."

I rushed over to grab his hands and plead with him. "No, I'm not trying to change you. I don't want Emmett because I don't love him." It wasn't the moment I had dreamed of. I never imagined telling him I loved him with a stuffed up nose and the threat of a psychologist hanging over his head. "I love you, Edward. Do you hear me, I love you."

For some reason my declaration was difficult for him. His face looked tortured and he tried to pull his hands from mine, but I held on tightly and moved my face to his eyes no matter how he tried to look away. He finally nodded a couple of times and then pulled me onto the mattress with him.

He kissed me passionately, obviously no longer concerned about my cold. For the first time we didn't have sex, we made love. He was tender and taking his time, making sure to check if he was doing what I wanted. I was stunned when he never reached for a condom but everything was progressing so smoothly it would have ruined it all.

Edward obviously had a problem using verbal skills to express himself, but when he let loose with his emotion and tried to feel, it was a totally different story. I felt like one of his paintings or a piece of his music. He was the artist and I let him make me into his creation.

I lay in the small bed as I struggled with my clogged sinuses. I finally said, "I need to go home and take some medicine, do you want to sleep over?"

He sat up and looked over at me before saying, "Naw, I like my bed at home better."

I began gathering my clothes and said, "It isn't about the mattress, Edward. Do you want to sleep in my arms or not?"

He thought for a few seconds, as if trying really hard to concentrate on what he wanted to say. "I need to finish a painting and I don't want to disturb your sleep. You need to rest."

I smiled at his effort to be considerate of my needs and gave him a quick kiss before leaving him to his work. I made it through finals and ended up taking a second round of antibiotics to get rid of the horrible infection. I was feeling great just in time to start the summer semester of school. If I got the classes I needed for the fall I could graduate in December.

We were at the Cullens for Sunday brunch when to topic of Dr. Zonis came up. Edward was playing his guitar loudly so nobody could hear each other talk and I finally said, "Esme, did Edward ever take guitar lessons?"

She looked over to where he sat on the floor and shook her head back and forth. I pressed further and asked, "What about piano lessons, or art classes?"

"I guess he is just naturally talented," she answered with a hint of pride.

Emmett looked at me and asked, "Is there a reason for the questions?"

"Do you know Dr. Zonis, the head of the psychology department?" I asked and he nodded. "He would like to meet with Edward and see if he concurs with his diagnosis."

Edward stopped playing and looked over at where we all sat. I tried to act totally unconcerned and quickly added, "Of course he has no intentions of trying to medicate Edward. He only wants to speak with him."

"I don't see what it would hurt," Emmett offered, as if Edward was incapable of making the decision himself.

"I would like to meet Dr. Zonis," Esme said. "Carlisle and I would like a little information beforehand."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind," I said with a smile and Edward began to play loudly again.

We didn't talk about it again until later that night. I usually didn't sleep over since his house was far from the downtown area and I worked most nights. Sunday nights were my chance to spend extra time in his bed. I was tucked in his arm and I ran my fingers lightly up and down his bare chest.

"Edward, do you mind if I call Dr. Zonis and set up a time to meet?"

"I guess not," he said, close to sleep.

"Would you like me to come with you or would you rather see him on your own?"

He yawned loudly and then mumbled, "I don't care. I bet the conversation won't last long."

I sat up on my elbow and knew he was trying to sleep but I wanted an explanation. "Why won't the conversation last long?"

"People never talk to me for very long. But I don't care, most of the time they only talk shit anyway."

I lay back down and realized I never saw Edward have an in-depth conversation with anyone. He was always on the peripheral of conversations instead of included in them. We slept deeply that night and I was awakened by Edward playing with my hair.

I smiled with my eyes closed and he leaned over to whisper in my ear. "I'm so hard for you."

"For me… or a spontaneous erection?" I teased.

He chuckled and rolled onto his back to show me the topic of our conversation. "Does it really matter; I need you to handle it for me."

I put my hand under the blanket and gave him a firm squeeze. "There, I handled it."

"Again," he said with a smile.

I repeated the action and he said it one more time, "Again."

I rolled onto him and straddled his body and used more than my hand this time. His chin raised high as his head arched and he moaned loudly. I began to move faster and harder as he grabbed the sheets with both of his fists. He tightened his body to the point his legs were ridged and his jaw was clenched.

I cried out first, calling his name loudly in the morning light filtering through the curtains. He joined my cries and said clearly, "God Bella, I love you."

It was the first time he ever said it. He wasn't waiting for a response or tossing it out as a general hello or goodbye. He was talking from his heart as we gave each other the pleasure we desired. I collapsed onto his spent body and held him tightly. I felt we were destined to be together forever.


	12. Chapter 12

12

I didn't want to make a huge deal out of his revelation, because deep down I was afraid he would take it back. I went home and prepared for early morning class. I arrived earlier than usual to see if I could catch Dr. Zonis. He was sitting in his office and looked eager when I walked in.

"Did you speak with your friend?" he asked.

"Yes," I grinned. "His parents are both physicians and would like to meet with you first."

His enthusiasm faded just a bit and he was quiet as the thought about it. Finally he looked at me again and said, "Even physicians can make mistakes, I would love to meet with them right before I meet with their son."

I nodded and then asked about my own presence. He assured me it would be helpful to see Edward's reaction to me and his parents. I was a little worried about his observations and hoped he didn't tell me to find a man who was more respectful. I set up a time for the coming Thursday and then went on with my week.

I saw Edward again on Wednesday afternoon. He dropped by the gallery and walked up to my desk and said, "Can you swim?"

"Hello," I said, to remind him he hadn't greeted me.

"Oh hi," he added, and leaned over to offer me a kiss.

"Yes, I can swim," I informed him and waited for him to explain why he asked. He got up and walked over to look at two new paintings and shook his head slowly.

"What?" I asked, as I remained at the desk.

"Do you notice how every painting of a family the father looks burdened. There are several loving paintings of mother and child, but the father always looks….I don't know…unhappy."

I got out of my chair and walked over to look at the painting. I stared at a man's worn face and then asked, "So do men feel pressure to provide or something?"

"How are you supposed to teach a child who to be when you aren't even finished learning who to be yourself? I think parenthood is foolish and totally undesirable."

I chuckled and then looked at Edward's face. He wasn't laughing, or giving me a sideways glance. He was serious and I felt a bit of panic. "I think you aren't ready to be a father now, but it doesn't mean someday you…."

"No, never. Not someday, some future point I can't fathom at this time. I'm never putting that look on my face," he said as he poked the painting with his finger.

I reached out with my hand and tussled his hair as I said, "You are so handsome, just think what a cute son you would have."

I was only trying to lighten the mood. I wasn't trying to be prophetic or pressure him into anything. He turned to look at me and his lip rose like an angry animal offering a warning. "You said you would never do that to me."

"Would you relax," I said and headed back to the desk. "God Edward, I'm not even twenty-one. I don't want a baby right now either."

His phone rang and he answered and then walked out the door. He didn't say goodbye and I assumed he would come right back. I waited and waited but he never returned. I felt I had angered him so I pulled out my phone and texted him to spend the night at my apartment. He never answered but when I got home he was waiting.

"I'm glad you came," I said, and tried to sound carefree.

"Well, you get me off when I'm horny; it won't hurt me to repay the favor."

His words sounded like it was a chore to have sex with me. I'm sure he didn't mean it to sound that way, but it hurt my feelings all the same. "You don't have to stay," I said and sped up my pace.

"I have nothing better," he said, and matched me step for step.

I unlocked the door and walked in to find the entire apartment lit up. I gasped loudly when I heard my mother squeal and come running for me. "Surprise," she laughed. "Daddy's here, too."

My stomach was in my throat at the thought of my father and Edward being in the same room. I laughed nervously and walked over to give my father a hug. "Mom, Dad, this is Edward Cullen," I said with a shaky voice.

Edward looked at them both and then said to me, "I thought you wanted me to come here for sex?"

I wanted to smack him in the mouth. I laughed as if it was only a joke and quickly changed the subject. He slumped down into a chair and pouted as I talked to my parents about finals and the gallery. Edward began tapping his feet and hands to a beat only he could hear and I noticed how my father would glance over at him in irritation.

"Edward, I'll be up late with my parents. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I was desperate to get him out of there with little drama.

His hands froze in mid air and he looked at me with a very perturbed expression. I widened my eyes to give him some sort of warning but it didn't do any good. He sighed and said, "Well, now I'm horny."

I jumped up and grabbed him by the arm to pull him outside the front door. I spun around and said, "Are you crazy, those are my parents."

He took a step toward me and smiled with a crooked smile. I knew what he was doing and I tried to push him back but he kept coming right at me. His hand rose into my hair and he wrapped it around my neck. I was going to tell him to cut it out but he pulled me quickly to his mouth and kissed me as he fondled my breast.

I tried to get out of his arms and he held on tightly, making me feel trapped. I finally got my mouth away from his and said, "Get off of me or I'll scream."

He whispered into my ear and said, "That's the whole point."

"Edward, let me go," I demanded and he finally moved to the side. I could tell he was angry or hurt, but I was too pissed to care. I straightened my clothes and gave him the death glare. "What is wrong with you?"

He pointed animatedly at his erection as if I had no idea it was there. I shook my head and walked toward my door. He called out, "What am I supposed to do with this now?"

I had several ideas, but I was a bit afraid he would take them as honest suggestions. I turned to say, "Edward, I am going inside to speak to my parents who came all the way from Forks to see me. I'll miss you tonight, but I won't keep my parents waiting as I screw you in the hallway."

He glanced at my angry face and asked obliviously, "Do you think Blues and Jazz sound the same?"

I let my head fall back and growled with frustration. I was growing so exhausted dealing with his mood changes and began counting the moments until we saw Dr. Zonis. I had to hope he had some answers for me, or I might end up killing the man I love.

I came back into the living room and my parents looked at me with concern. I tried to smile and act natural but my father finally said, "Bella, are you involved with that boy?"

I don't know why I did it, I lied. I didn't mean to lie; I just didn't want to have this conversation right now. I shook my head and said, "He's the brother of a guy I used to date. He was just joking around."

"I don't care much for his sense of humor," my dad mumbled, and I felt like the room was closing in on me.

"He's a really nice guy, he just likes to shock people," I added.

"Well, you tell him I like to shock people too, with a taser."

I looked nervously at my mother and said, "So what brought you to the city?"

My mother smiled and began talking about their little get-a-way. They were headed back to Forks early in the morning so this would be their only chance to see me. I was relieved they weren't going to be around for the meeting with Dr. Zonis. I would have a lot of explaining to do if they were.

We were up until midnight talking and then they both hugged and kissed me goodbye. I got into bed and instantly wished Edward was there with me. I was tempted to call him, but I needed a good night sleep before all the tension of tomorrow.

I showed up at Dr. Zonis office and found Carlisle and Esme waiting. I prayed Edward wouldn't let me down and would actually show up.

The Cullens spoke with Dr. Zonis alone as I paced back and forth outside. I felt a huge relief when I saw Edward walking toward me with his familiar torn jeans and wrinkled shirt. I met him with a kiss and then acting like a mother I tried to readjust his clothing to look a bit more put together.

We headed into the waiting area and the Cullens and Dr. Zonis walked from the office. I stood and quickly introduced Edward to the doctor. Edward didn't appear nervous or anxious. He was only paying half attention, like he usually did.

Dr. Zonis set his chair in front of me and then glanced at Edward. "I'm going to talk to Bella for a moment and then you and I will go into my office."

Edward nodded and slouched down on the sofa. Dr. Zonis took my hands and scooted to the edge of his chair before saying to Edward, "Oh, while I talk to her I would like you to monitor the temperature of the room, choose synonyms for the various colors in the room, and mentally arrange the objects in the room into geometric shapes beginning with the smallest to the largest."

He turned his attention back to me and said, "Bella, are you considering a long term relationship with Edward?"

I wasn't sure what to say and glanced over to see Edward concentrating on things in the room. I finally shrugged and said, "Our relationship is pretty new. We have different goals at the moment, but I love him very much."

"Are you expecting him to change or will you be doing all the changing?"

I felt like I was put on the spot and it was embarrassing, especially since it was in front of the Cullens. I knew they were so hopeful Edward would find someone to love him regardless, and hopefully change him for the positive. Before I could answer Dr. Zonis turned his attention to Edward.

"How many synonyms to you have?"

"Eight," Edward announced quickly.

"And the longest word has how many letters?"

"Periwinkle, ten," Edward responded.

"How many objects in the room?"

"Twenty-seven."

"What is the size of the smallest item?"

Edward glanced at the small square attached to the ceiling fan chain and said, "One inch by one and a half inches."

"Did the temperature change?" he inquired.

"The air conditioner kicked off seventy-eight seconds after you asked me to watch it."

Dr. Zonis sat back in his chair and I stared with my mouth hanging open. Edward looked absolutely terrified and mumbled, "What the fuck?"

Esme wiped a tear from her eye and I tried to determine which of the myriad of questions I wanted answered first.

"Well, first things first," Dr. Zonis began, "You are not antisocial, sociopathic, or effected with any other personality disorder."

I realized he never intended to take Edward from the room. He just performed his test and it didn't require getting to know Edward at all. He looked at the Cullens and said, "Your son has a very rare form of genius, a subset of savant syndrome. If not caught at a young age the child will be considered problematic and ostracized. His mind is able to consider so many things at once he seems scattered and aloof."

He looked at Edward and said, "Do you find it difficult to focus, like ideas are flying at you from all directions?"

Edward nodded and covered is mouth with his hand. He was finally being understood, and it was comforting and scary for him. It now became time for the difficult part of the conversation. Dr. Zonis handed Edward a folder and said, "If you do nothing, your life will continue on just as it is. If you want to learn to train your mind and control your life, you need to go to this institute in Germany."

My stomach dropped and I suddenly realized why he was asking me the questions he had asked. If Edward wanted to live up to his potential I would have to let him go. I felt like I wanted to burst into tears, but in reality Edward never seemed emotionally attached to me. He admitted he loved me, but it was a rare recognition. It would be a pain I would experience alone.

I felt selfish and possessive. I asked softly, "How long will he be gone?"

Dr. Zonis cleared his throat before saying, "Carlisle and Esme told me Edward never graduated from high school. He would be able to leave the institute in four years most likely with a PhD."

Carlisle and Esme heard the part where their son would have an education. I heard the part where he would be gone for four years. I looked at Edward and tried to read his face. He was typical, looking a bit amused and a bit distracted.


	13. Chapter 13

13

We decided to meet at the Cullens on Sunday to discuss the results of Edward's test and also the decisions he had in front of him. He didn't seem worried or excited, he got on his motorcycle and rode away to do whatever it is he does when no one is around. I headed to class with a feeling of exhaustion. I couldn't decide if I wanted to be selfless or hold on with all my strength.

I was at work that evening when Emmett came to see me. He looked worried and like he was the one struggling with a major decision. I smiled and tried to ease his mind. "If you're here to see what I'm telling Edward to do, I want you to know I'm not saying anything."

He gave me a look of appreciation and then sat in the chair across from my desk. "I feel a bit guilty for never expecting more from Edward. It turns out he's the best of us all."

"It wasn't something you would have known," I said to help him.

"I remember as a young boy wishing Edward could be the best he was capable of being. If that still holds true today, well, he really doesn't have a choice does he?"

I didn't like being pushed into a corner so I added, "Right now his choice is to go or not to go. If he goes then he can choose what potential he wants to reach."

Emmett took a deep breath and played with the grain of wood on my desk and finally said the difficult words he came to say. "Bella, if he doesn't go you two won't last more than a year."

"What makes you say that?" I demanded.

"Look at how tired you are already and it has only been two months. Edward tends to exhaust people. He'll exhaust your trust, your patience, your love, and then he'll continue on as if he never knew you to begin with. He isn't capable of having a long term relationship the way he is."

I felt my eyes begin to burn with tears as I had to admit, at least to myself, what Emmett was saying was true. I finally whispered, "If I let him go it will be the end of us too."

Emmett nodded slightly and then said, "You never know what the future will bring."

I knew, I knew for certainty that Edward would grow and progress way beyond Bella from Forks. He would be meeting brilliant, beautiful women from all over the world. I had nothing to draw him back to Seattle with. If Edward left for Germany I doubted he would ever return.

I ran my hand through my hair and agreed I was exhausted. I spent so much time worrying about where Edward was and what he was doing that maybe it would be nice to let it all go. But doing so would mean saying goodbye to him. I was so confused.

I spoke to Edward several times on the phone before Sunday, but I hadn't seen him for two days. He showed up in a large panel van. "Where do you get this?" I asked in surprise.

He gave me a funny glance and said, "It's mine, I deliver artwork in it."

I sighed; confused at what vehicles he owned when usually that was the easiest question a girl could answer about her guy. We were the last to arrive and I noticed Rose and Jasper were not invited. I instantly felt like I had intruded on a family event.

We all sat around the table and Edward picked up the salt shaker and tossed some over my shoulder and then laughed loudly. I grabbed it from his hand and returned it back to the middle of the table. Carlisle started the conversation by saying, "Edward, we owe you an apology. We haven't been fair to you over the years and I'm sorry."

He looked at me and chuckled. "I'm the good kid now."

"You were always a good kid," Esme interjected.

Alice was having none of the remorseful attitude the rest of the family was dealing with. She instantly shook her head and said loudly, "No, Edward was an ass most of the time. I'm not letting you feel sorry for him, because he put us through hell."

I glanced at Edward to see if he would be angry or apologetic but he smirked and said, "Go spread your legs."

Alice glared at him and then asked, "Is that a gymnastic joke or a whore joke?"

He laughed loudly and said, "Sorry, I forgot I would have to explain it to you."

"Edward, stop," I instructed and placed my hand on his thigh. I also saw a hint at what I would be in for if I ever questioned him. He was feeling superior now and with his smart ass mouth it was a dangerous combination.

Carlisle continued on before things got too out of hand. "Edward, as your parents we would like to encourage you to go to Germany, but you're an adult and able to make your own choices. I just want you to know we will not be allowing your abhorrent behavior any longer, so you need to learn some way to control yourself."

"So I go, or I go?" he asked, and then looked at me for some sort of confirmation.

Alice spoke up and said, "I think it is critical for you to go. We're a family and the decision affects us too."

I knew she was right. I couldn't keep him here and expect them to put up with my selfishness. I smiled as genuinely as possible and said, "Edward just think, Germany! It's a chance in a lifetime."

Emmett looked at me with a supportive smile and I felt like my insides were going to come out all over the table. Nobody mentioned our relationship and I knew they knew it would be over too if he left.

Edward finally shrugged and said, "Okay."

It was that easy, for him at least. One simple word and our lives changed forever. When we left that evening I got into the van and said, "I'm not feeling well, can you take me home."

He didn't question my alleged illness and drove right to my building. I placed my hand on the door handle and said, "Edward, I won't see you anymore before you leave. I think it will be easier that way."

His eyes looked shocked and he grabbed my arm and said, "You're not going to screw me before I leave?"

It was the ice cold water I needed to make the clean break. "No," I said through my tears, and then jumped from the van and ran off to my apartment.

Edward called two times. The first time he just hung up, the second time he left a message saying he was leaving right away. He wanted to see me one last time and I felt myself giving in to temptation. I was going to stop by his house one last time, but Jessica arrived home in absolute hysterics.

"Bella, I'm two days late. I'm never late, ever," she cried.

"It could be anything," I said to calm her, but I had no idea if her and Mike were safe or not.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom with her. "I have some pregnancy tests; you have to take one with me."

I gasped loudly at her plan and declared indignantly was not pregnant.

"I know but I'm too afraid to do it by myself, please Bella, just pee on a stick," she begged.

"Fine," I said in disgust and took one of the sticks to my bathroom. I brought it back and set it on the counter next to hers. She ran into the kitchen and set the timer as I sat on the tub to wait. I finally asked her what she would do if it was positive.

"I would kill myself," she said dramatically, "Because my father would end up killing me anyway."

"You are not going to kill yourself," I said and put my chin in my palm.

"What would you do?" she asked. I knew she didn't really care, but it was putting her mind at ease to talk about it.

"I would be a single mom. Edward is leaving and he doesn't want kids."

I said it as if it would be no big deal, but in reality I had no idea what I was going to do after college and returning to Forks single and pregnant would be my definition of hell.

When the timer went off she screamed and covered her eyes. "You have to look Bella. Mine is the one on the right."

I walked over to look at her stick. It had the word NO printed in a small window. I glanced at mine and then leaned forward to see clearer. The word YES was showing prominently. I reached for it with a shaking hand and quickly stuck it in my pocket. I glanced at Jessica to see her eyes still closed and said, "They are both negative. See I told you."

She opened her eyes as I held up the stick. She grabbed it from my hand and ran for her phone to call Mike. I got my purse and headed straight for the campus infirmary. Something was wrong with the test and I wanted them to explain it to me as quickly as possible.

I was too nervous to sit on the examination table so I paced inside the small room until the doctor walked in. "There is no way I can be pregnant," I said as I tried to make it so.

"I checked your blood test and your urine test. You are absolutely pregnant," he said, to send my world crashing down around me.

"I'm on the pill," I said as my fingers turned numb.

He looked at my chart for a few minutes and said, "You took some strong antibiotics last month, it can mess up the effectiveness of birth control."

I began to cry and yelled very loudly, "Isn't that something I should be told?"

The doctor looked a bit taken aback and said, "It was on the literature that came with your antibiotics."

I was beyond acting rational. I raised my voice even more and said, "I was in the middle of finals, why would I read a stupid pamphlet?"

He launched into a lecture about the importance of knowing what reactions or side effects a combination of the medication you're on have. I stopped listening, because I realized Edward would never accept this was an accident. He would accuse me of trying to make his life miserable and fly away angry.

I paid my bill and walked hesitantly to the exit into the waiting room. Just as I opened the door a young nurse called out for me. I stopped and she handed me a slip of paper. "This is a prescription for prenatal vitamins, and you'll need to set up follow-up care appointments for once a month. If you are considering terminating the pregnancy we can give you some information regarding those services in the greater Seattle area."

I took the paper and muttered I would call later and turned to leave. Standing only a few feet from me with a stunned expression was Emmett. I couldn't think of anything to say. I knew he heard what the nurse had said to me, so I did the only thing I could think of…I ran.

I made it out of the waiting area and down the hallway of the infirmary before he caught up to me. He grabbed my arm to keep me still and pushed me up against the wall. "Bella, don't tell me he got you pregnant."

"I'm on the pill," I said, and realized it wouldn't do any good to lie. He may be my only ally and I needed to confide in someone. I began to cry so hard he pulled me to his chest and held me affectionately. "I took antibiotics and it messed up my birth control. Edward will never believe me."

Emmett meant well, but when he reminded me how much Edward despised children I only cried louder. He rocked me until I calmed enough to walk over to a bench and sit down so we could talk rationally. "What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said numbly. "I graduate in December, I guess I'll go home and let my parents help me raise a baby alone."

"Are you going to tell Edward?" he asked.

I looked at my watch and saw I was supposed to be at his house already. I had no intentions of going now, I was too upset and his lack of sympathy would be too much right now.

"No, I'm not going to tell him," I said with decision.


	14. Chapter 14

14

A receptionist stuck her head out of the waiting area door and called Emmett's name. He looked at her and then back at me. "I'm fine, go ahead. Are you sick?" I asked him.

"No, just getting my knee x-rayed. It's a yearly check."

I nodded and wiped my face to show him I was okay and he could leave. I couldn't force myself to go home. I was afraid Edward would show up looking for me, but more afraid he wouldn't. I headed to a mall and walked aimlessly until I found the nerve to enter a baby supply store. I stared at the tiny clothes and looked at the prices of the furniture. I had no idea how I was going to work it all out.

I stayed until the mall closed and finally headed home. The apartment was dark and everyone was asleep as I tiptoed to my room and got ready for bed. I cried for a solid hour before finally finding sleep. The next day I headed into work and found Emmett there waiting for me. He informed me Edward, Carlisle, and Esme had left this morning for Germany. All my hope was now gone.

He sat on the edge of the desk and said, "Bella, I want you to hear me out on something, okay?"

I nodded, too depressed to say a simple word.

"Edward will never be a father to your child, but it doesn't mean my parents and Alice and I should miss out on the opportunity to know it. It deserves to have a name and a family who loves and supports it."

I simply stared as he continued, having no idea where he was headed.

"What if I claim the baby is mine. We could marry for just a month or two and then say we married too quickly and end it. It wouldn't actually be a real marriage; I mean I don't expect us to actually share a bed. But your child would have a name and a family, its real family."

I tried to laugh but I couldn't get the choking feeling from my throat. I was aghast at what he was suggesting, but he continued on quickly.

"I would totally support the child financially and treat it as my own. We would never tell Edward, not that he would care, but if we do this it is for life, understand?"

I nodded, having no idea why I had let him think for a moment I would consider it.

"Oh, and another thing, I would tell Rosalie, she would be the only one to know the truth," he added. "But we would have to do this quickly, like now."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because the timing of the pregnancy of course, but also my parents' are in Germany, we could have a week or two before having to face them."

"This is insane Emmett?" I mumbled.

"I know," he agreed, "but it is the only solution and the best thing for the child. Don't make it deal with Edward and get its heart broken."

I thought about his words and tried to think it through. I wouldn't have to go home in shame. I could finish school, but most importantly my child would have a father. I finally became so overcome with emotion I quickly agreed before I could come to my senses.

Emmett launched into details about how we would fly to Vegas tomorrow and be married. We would stay the weekend under the pretense of a honeymoon and then make it home by Monday in time for me to make it to class.

Nothing felt real. I was carrying a baby, but I looked completely the same. I lost my love, but I was becoming the wife of his brother. I didn't have time to stage a big break up scene and turn to Emmett for support. Everyone would assume we were seeing each other behind Edward's back, for the sake of my child I would let them think it.

I got the time off work, packed up a small suitcase, drove with Emmett to the airport, and six hours later I was standing in front of a judge at a twenty-four hour wedding chapel. I was unable to focus on anything the man was saying. Emmett tried his best to make me feel relaxed and confident, but my shaking hands gave me away.

When we were announced man and wife, he pulled me into his arms and whispered, "I am so sorry, Bella," And then offered me a chaste kiss on the mouth. That was my wedding, a ceremony of sorrow and regret.

As we made our way back to our rooms I grew angry at Edward. I wanted him to love me more than he was capable of. I wanted my love to fix all the confusion in his head and make him well, and normal. I wanted to be the greatest success he could ever reach, and I wanted him to be happy with it. I knew it was selfish, especially in the face of Emmett's selfless act, but it was how I felt nonetheless.

I took a shower and got into bed in the darkened room. Emmett left his room to go have some fun at the poker tables. I placed my hand on my stomach and tried to imagine a baby who was a blend of me and Edward. It wouldn't matter if my baby looked more like Edward than Emmett, a lot of kids looked like an aunt or uncle. I tried a myriad of names, both boy and girl. I found myself trying to secretly name my baby something Edward would understand, but innuendo was not something he excelled at.

I finally settled on Elizabeth Anne if it was a girl, using Edward's initials. Masen Emmett for a boy, using his alas painting name. I closed my eyes and fell asleep as Mrs. Cullen. I got the golden boy after all.

I moved into Emmett's house and Jasper got so upset he moved out. Rosalie stayed, since she was really the one sharing Emmett's room. My friends were shocked, but mainly disappointed I didn't have a real wedding they could be a part of. The hardest part came when the Cullens arrived home and we had to face them.

Emmett and I sat on the sofa with our hands clasped. I couldn't look them in the eye so I let him do it. He began by stating he never really let me go and we had been seeing each other occasionally as I worked with Edward. He said I had tried many times to end things with Edward, but at Emmett's persistence I remained to see if he could change.

Esme looked like she didn't believe a word of it, so I had to kick up the affection a notch to make it believable. I mean, on the surface you would be insane to deal with Edward if Emmett wanted you. She eventually became persuaded. I was welcomed to the family and instantly thrown a post wedding shower. Alice lightened up on me when she found out she got to throw me a party.

Rose managed to convince everyone her and Emmett were only friends and still supported each other totally. I felt like I was stuck in the middle, ruining life for everyone. Carlisle said he would be the one to notify Edward. I think it was so I wouldn't see how little Edward cared, but deep down I hated the idea of even possibly hurting him.

In exactly six weeks Emmett brought up the possibility of a pregnancy. He said we hadn't been careful and we waiting anxiously for me to get my period. Alice insisted I take a pregnancy test and when I saw the results I already knew, my tears were real.

Carlisle and Esme's reaction made me believe the whole farce was worth it. They cried and kissed me several times, saying how anxious they were to be grandparents. They immediately set up a trust fund for my unborn child and I could tell Emmett was actually growing excited for the birth.

My parents finally got over the elopement, but I didn't bring Emmett around much. I didn't want them getting too attached to a man who wasn't really going to be their son-in-law.

The whole arrangement was working out so well we stayed together until October. It was when my mother began making plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas I decided to let Emmett go so he could spend the holidays openly with Rose.

I actually moved into Edward's log home, since the renters had left. Carlisle and Esme never asked me for rent money and if I tried to pay they insisted I put it toward the baby. It was at a girl's lunch when Esme began to grill me on why I left Emmett.

"Bella, are you sure it isn't hormonal and you'll regret losing him?"

"I like Emmett a lot, but I don't think I love him as I should," I replied.

"Please don't tell me you love Edward again," Alice said angrily.

I shook my head, but refused to answer the question directly. I did say, "Actually, seeing how good Rose treated him as our roommate convinced me I didn't love him. Emmett will always be a part of my life, because we share a child," I added as I looked away from her eyes.

"So your due date is around the first of March?" Esme asked.

"Yes," I lied, since it was really around the middle of February.

They were too generous to me. I was given an entire nursery for Christmas and for graduation the Cullens gave me ten thousand dollars since it would take me a little while to find a job. I felt so blessed to have them loving and supporting my child. Emmett came by once a week, to continue his bonding and checking on how I was doing. I began to truly think of Emmett as the father.

I chose not to know the sex of the child; since a sonogram would be extra money the student insurance policy didn't cover. I packed a bag filled with nightgowns and clothes to wear home from the hospital. I packed a white sleeper for the baby, and then I waited.

It was Valentine's Day when I woke up with a terrible ache in my back. I sat up and bed and begged with all I had for it not to be labor. I could not handle having Edward's child on Valentine's Day. As the afternoon wore on the pain got worse. I finally broke down and called Emmett. He rushed right over from his last semester of graduate school and drove me to the hospital.

We hadn't actually discussed his participation in the birth and I grew a bit embarrassed that he would be seeing me in such an intimate way. By the time I was ready to push I didn't care if the entire football team was standing between my legs ready to catch. I cried out in pain and Emmett held my face in his hands as he spoke calmly.

"Bella, these are the last moments of carrying our baby inside of you. I know it hurts, but look at my face and concentrate."

I stared up at him, seeing his deep dimples and wondering if they would be inherited by my child. He took a deep breath and I followed right along. He pulled me forward and began counting as I pushed. It took almost two hours of pushing but he worked right along with me the entire time. I finally was able to push the baby out and I fell back onto my pillow in exhaustion. It was ten minutes before midnight; my baby was born on Valentine's Day.

Emmett looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "It's a boy, we have a son."

I reached for my baby who at the moment looked exactly like me. I couldn't see any Cullen in him yet, but he wailed loudly as I held him tightly in my arms and cried for the man I wished could be here. Emmett took some pictures and then a nurse offered to take some of us together. I tried to smile, but my heart was broken.

The next morning everyone came to see Masen Emmett. My mother and Esme were in heaven and actually bickered on who could hold him longest. I tried to let the Cullens enjoy the moment, since my mother would be staying with me for a bit to help out.

Emmett was totally smitten with his new boy. He held him with pride and even changed the first dirty diaper without waking me up. I could tell he was going to be a great father to his nephew and I needed to let my heart accept it.


	15. Chapter 15

15

When he took us home I asked if he wanted to stay for a bit. He looked at my mother and said he would come back later in the evening. I walked him to his car and he said, "Bella, I want you to know Rose and I are getting married in June."

I gave him a strong hug and said, "I'm so happy for you, Emmett. She is an amazing woman to go through all of this for you."

He smiled, showing off his dimples and said, "Yeah, she really is."

I watched him drive away and then went back into the house. My mother was rocking Masen and said, "Bella, he eyes are such an odd color, do you think they'll change?"

"What do you mean odd?" I asked, and walked over to look at my baby in the light shining through the window.

"They look grey, and you and Emmett both have brown eyes," she added, making me pause and my heart begin to pound. She continued on saying, "My sister has blue eyes, maybe he got them from her."

"I think Emmett has some blue in his family too," I added as I tried to act unconcerned. I looked down at his face and for the first time some hints of Edward. It thrilled me and hurt me at the same time.

"Can you watch him while I take a nap," I asked her.

"Sure," she grinned without even looking up at me. I headed into my room and got into the bed I had shared most Sunday nights with Edward when he lived here. I was too exhausted to cry, so I curled into a ball and went fast asleep.

When I woke up my mother was standing next to the bed to hand me Masen. I took him and pulled him to my breast to feed him. "The hospital called and they are sending over a flower arrangement delivered after you were released."

"From who?" I asked, thinking Mr. Banner or my friends had gone in on something.

"They didn't say," she said, and when the bell rang she ran to answer it.

She came back a few minutes later with her eyes wide. "Oh my God," she laughed, "You should see the gift basket. It is huge."

"I thought it was flowers?" I asked in confusion.

"Oh, there are flowers too," she laughed.

I got out of bed to see for myself. I kept Masen in my arms and walked into the room to see a basket taking up the entire coffee table. "Did you see a card?" I asked my mother.

"No, there's nothing," she replied.

"Did you see a name on the delivery van?" I pressed.

"No, I didn't think to look," she said with remorse.

"I bet it is from Emmett," I said, since he was coming over that evening he wouldn't need to add a card, but he knew I was being released and wouldn't have sent it to the hospital. I refused to let my mind go to the place it was trying to go. If Edward sent a gift he would send it to his brother, not me.

I was anxious for Emmett's arrival and when I heard his car pull up I made my way to the door to talk softly so my mother wouldn't hear. He greeted me with a hug and I whispered, "Please tell me you are the one who sent the gift basket without a card."

"What?" he asked and backed up.

I knew at that moment it wasn't him. I nodded toward the coffee table with my head and said, "It was delivered to the hospital, but there isn't a card."

He walked over to look at the contents and said, "Wow, this must have cost a fortune."

I stood there chewing on my lip; hoping he would tell me Carlisle and Esme must have sent it. Instead he glanced and me and shrugged before saying softy, "It could have been."

"How?" I asked back just as softly.

"I'm sure my mother told him he's an uncle," Emmett said protectively.

Just the thought of Edward knowing I had a child and thinking it was truly Emmett's sickened me. I felt my face drain of blood and I sat down to keep from falling down. Emmett walked over to the bassinet in the corner and picked up Masen. "Hey there big guy, Daddy came to see you."

I closed my eyes and tried to stop the room from spinning. I heard my mother say, "He's looking more like you." It was the last thing I remembered before fading into nothingness.

I could hear people calling my name, but I couldn't respond. I was stuck in some sort of limbo where I was totally alone. I wondered if it was how Edward felt in his own mind most of the time. If he experienced anything close to it, I did the right thing by sending him away. Emmett could love Masen and give him everything Edward's mind wouldn't allow him to give. My son deserved it, and I was finally, finally good with it.

My biggest blessing came when I got a call from Mr. Banner offering me a job as the gallery manager. He gave me free rein to make any changes I saw fit and the best part was I could bring Masen with me and keep a crib in the back office. The pay was minimal but the situation was perfect.

I was full of ideas to bring in better artists. I staged wine tastings, art appreciation classes, and weekly showcases of new talent in the area. We were quickly gaining the reputation of an up and coming art gallery.

Masen was growing like a weed. He was a calm baby with a happy temperament. Emmett spent as much time with him as possible, making my long days at the gallery doable. Rosalie became pregnant by the end of the summer and I worried it would take away from Emmett's devotion to Masen, but it never faltered.

I was working on some new lighting ideas when someone from Forks walked through the door. I had seen Jacob Black in years. He was the son of my father's best friend. Younger than me and always had a raging crush on me.

"Jake," I cried out and rushed over to hug him. He smiled widely and hung on just a bit too long so I pushed him away like I used to. "Why are you here?" I asked.

"I transferred to Washington University," he announced. "I told Charlie that I would come see you."

"I'm glad you did. How's your love life, do you need me to set you up?"

"Naw, I got a girl," he said shyly. "But should I set you up?"

I punched his arm and walked off so I wouldn't have to answer his question. I was still hoping Edward would return. I had no idea how we could possibly be together as his brother fathered his child, but I still had hope of seeing him again.

The Cullens stopped hearing from Edward a long time ago. They knew he was still in Germany, but he had moved past them, so surely he was way past a need to see me. Rosalie gave birth to a girl and Masen felt like part of their family more than mine.

Jake and his girlfriend Leah became my social circle. We did most things together and they never made me feel like a third wheel. I was content with my life and most day I bordered on happy.

I had spent the better part of Masen's third year getting ready for a showing from international artists. We had some classic pieces from Italy on loan and I was constantly worried about a fire or the roof collapsing. For the grand reveal we planned a reception at a large convention center. The money for attending would go to a local art school.

I was working late the night before the reception when Masen came into my room. I looked up and held out my arms. "Are you okay?" I asked him.

"I had a scary dream, I want my daddy," he cried.

"You can sleep in mommy's bed if you want," I said, and he jumped up into my bed. "Tell me about your dream and get it all out of your head."

I tucked him in tightly and held his tiny hands in mine. He sniffed a couple of times and said, "I dreamed a doggy ate my feet."

"I happen to know all dogs hate the taste of feet," I assured him. He thought about it for a moment and finally nodded as if everything was fine now. I kissed his nose and said, "You are such a cute little boy."

"Grandma Cullen said I look like knuckle Edward," he announced.

"Who?" I asked, not sure what he had said.

"Do I look like knuckle Edward?"

"Do you mean Uncle Edward?" I asked, and he nodded quickly. "Well, I suppose you do a little. He has grey eyes too."

"Is he dead?" he asked me, since he never met the elusive uncle he supposedly looked like.

"No, he lives far, far away in a different country."

"In Narnia?" he asked.

I laughed and kissed his nose again. "You go to sleep now, okay."

He closed his eyes and snuggled up closer as I stared at his adorable face. I would never be able to repay Emmett for everything he has done for Masen, but I worried the truth would come out and my son would hate me forever.

Emmett picked him up early the next morning. He came in for a minute to talk. "Are you prepared for the big showcase?"

"The best I can be. It will be a stressful day for sure. I won't be done until well after midnight; can Masen spend the night with you?"

"Sure, and make sure you sleep in tomorrow, he'll be fine with us," he said, and I felt a twinge of jealousy. I loved my son had a sister in Lucy, but it was hard to share his heart with someone other than Edward.

I walked them to his car and kissed Masen goodbye. I had a busy day of checking all the details and making it to my own hair and makeup appointment. I arrived for the final prep already dressed in my long, black, silk halter gown.

A woman from Italy named Gia approached me regarding a painting they wanted to donate and auction off. It threw a kink into my plans and I tried to remain calm as I struggled to understand her through her thick accent.

"We will keep it covered on the stage and then at the right moment we'll unveil it to the public," she said without asking.

"It won't have proper lighting," I complained.

"It is not too large, we'll have a concierge walk it through the audience," she demanded. "Aro is thrilled with the artist and he will insist this be done."

Aro was already being generous in loaning his private collection so I couldn't refuse him. I finally nodded and walked off to find an easel and so sort of suitable lighting. I was not happy about having something to worry about at the last minute when there were so many other details to worry about.

The room was filled with tables, expecting over three hundred guests. I checked the table decorations and had to take a steadying breath when I saw white roses instead of red. I called over one of the volunteers and asked them to add a red ribbon to each of the vases.

Since I would be working all evening I gave Jake and Leah my seats at the dinner. I was talking to the sound people when Jake walked up and gave me a quick hug. "You holding together?" he asked.

"No," I complained. "I'm sweating in silk, so what does that tell you."

"Don't worry, it will remind men of silk sheets, they won't mind if you sweat," he laughed. I needed to hear his laughter at the moment. I was stressed and ready to explode. I laughed along with him and forced myself to calm down. It wasn't like Mr. Banner paid me big bucks for this job.

I made my way behind the stage and spoke with the mayor about his opening remarks as the room filled with our guests. The smell of pecan breaded fish and whole grain rolls filled the room and I realized I hadn't eaten all day. I went back into the kitchen and grabbed an extra roll as the food was being served by student volunteers.

I made a quick stop off in the restroom and ran into a beautiful woman fixing her lipstick. I smiled at her and she spoke with an English accent. "Is the rain going to stop anytime soon?" she asked.

I laughed and shook my head, "It is Seattle, it never stops. Surely you are used to rain in England," I pointed out and hoped I got the accent right.

She groaned and said, "Don't remind me. I've been in Italy for the past year. It is beautiful there."

I nodded as if I had any idea what the weather in Italy would be like. The furthest I had ever traveled was to Florida to go to Disney World. It would probably be the only place I would return too, unless Emmett and Rosalie took Masen and Lucy without me.

"I'm sorry about the rain, but I appreciate your willingness to come out on such a night. The money is going to a worthwhile cause," I said, trying to be polite and also letting her know I was somehow involved in the showcase.

She laughed and then leaned in closer and said, "The world doesn't need any more artists. Too many are mediocre as it is."

"Well, maybe we'll discover another Da Vinci," I said with a bit of an attitude since she was knocking my cause.

She gave me a curt smile that was less than genuine and put her lipstick away so she could leave without saying a word. I shook my head and looked in the mirror. My makeup and hair looked good, since I had missed the downpour, but I was nothing compared to the woman who just left. She could afford to be judgmental and snotty, because woman like her weren't appreciated for their personalities.

The Champaign was flowing and the crowd was loud and excited when I walked onto the stage under bright lights to start the program. The applause was decent and when I began to speak the crowd quieted.

"I want to thank you for coming tonight. We have some beautiful and rare works of art to share and I hope you'll return during the shows run and bring some friends. I want to recognize Aro Volturi who is the owner who graciously lent us some of our more exotic pieces."

Aro stood from a table up front filled with his entourage. As he waved during the applause I looked over my notes before having to introduce the mayor. The program was moving right along and nobody had put the mood of the room into a bored state so I was beyond thrilled.

It came time for Gia to auction off the painting so I called her onto the stage. She came from Aro's table and I moved back to lift the veil off of the painting when it was ready. She spoke of talented artists across the globe and the importance of supporting them so they could create more beauty in the world.

She finally got to the point and motioned for me to remove the cover as she announced the artist in the room. "Please give a hand of appreciation for Mr. E. Masen," she said, just as I pulled off the veil.


	16. Chapter 16

16

It took me a moment to realize the name she announced. I was too stunned by the picture in front of me. It was my face, holding a child in my arms. When a pretty young woman reached for the painting to walk around the room, I grabbed her hand to stop her. I spun around and saw Edward standing and nodding to the applauding crowd.

Our eyes locked onto one another and I felt like the room was tilting to one side. I looked at the beautiful woman sitting next to him, staring proudly up at him as she clapped. It was the same woman I had spoken to in the restroom.

The young girl waiting for the painting interrupted my shock by saying, "The painting is of you."

I dropped the material in my hand and ran from the stage. I didn't stay in the conference center but ran down the street to the small gallery that felt like home. The rain had ruined my silk dress and my tears had ruined my makeup. The picture of the woman with strawberry hair next to Edward played over and over in my mind as I dropped my head onto my desk and cried.

I eventually calmed down enough to think rationally. I grabbed the phone and dialed Emmett's number. He answered with a bit of fear, since he knew this was my busy night. I wasn't quite sure how to word it so I blurted out, "Did you know?"

"Know what?" he asked.

"Did you know he was here?"

"Who?" he asked, "Bella, you're not making sense."

"Edward is here. He was at the showcase," I said, and then broke into tears again.

Emmett was quiet, realizing he had as much to lose as I did. He finally said, "I'll be there in a few minutes."

"No," I cried out. "Maybe he is leaving right away. The woman he's with doesn't like the rain, so maybe they are here for the art show and they'll be gone."

Emmett took a long loud breath before saying, "Bella, he's my brother. I want to see him regardless."

I found the courage to admit what frightened me the most. "I think he knows," I whispered.

"There is nothing to know," Emmett said adamantly. His own conviction gave me strength so I calmed myself further.

"Okay," I said and hung up the phone.

I went into the bathroom to attempt to fix my makeup but there was nothing I could do about the water stained dress. I walked back into the gallery and came to an abrupt halt when I saw Edward standing at the door, looking through the glass.

I shook my head lightly back and forth but he pointed to the door knob and shook his up and down. He wasn't smiling wickedly like he used to. His expression was even and serious. I walked up to the door and turned the lock. He opened the door and stepped into the room as I backed up.

"Emmett is coming to the conference center to see you," I said with a shaky voice.

Edward ran his hand through his wet hair in a familiar way and then said, "I'm not sure I can see him right now."

"Why?" I asked.

He chuckled and then looked right at me. "Seriously, you don't know why?" My heart was in my throat and I was waiting for him to bring up Masen and demand to see him. Instead he said, "My brother steals the only woman I've ever loved…and the day after I leave no less…and you don't know why?"

He didn't mention Masen and I was so confused I wasn't sure what to say and what to leave out. I finally said, "Edward, you know we never would have worked out."

"No," he said slowly, dragging out the word. "I went to Germany to make sure we would work out. I was committed to us, Bella."

"We didn't want the same things," I said in a rush.

"We were twenty-one, we had no idea what we wanted," he corrected.

His words were confusing me. He wasn't the same rude, closed off guy. It would sound easy to commit to this version, but I was working with someone totally differently four years ago.

"Edward, I had no idea what you thought about us. You never shared your feelings with me or talked about a future."

His eyes opened widely and he gasped at my words. "Are you kidding?" he screamed. "I was so open with you."

I had to find a way to make him understand my perspective. I shook my head and said, "You think you were open, but the whole relationship was dysfunctional. I knew if you went to Germany it would be over."

He threw his hands into the air and said, "Well, thank you for telling me. I went there for you and you stabbed me in the back with my own brother."

"You never said you were going for me," I challenged.

"You told me Germany would be great and I said 'okay'," he pointed out. "I wanted to be better able to focus so you would love me even more."

"You never wanted children," I said softly, afraid to bring up the subject but it was crucial to the conversation.

"Not the way I was, no."

He didn't elaborate and I didn't push for anything more. I never knew what Edward was thinking and I had guessed wrong at every turn. I couldn't unwind anything and the point was emphasized when Emmett walked in through the door. Edward looked like I had kicked him in the heart. He said, "You called him?"

"Hello Edward," Emmett said.

"Excuse me," Edward mumbled politely and tried to walk around his large brother. Emmett shot out his arm and blocked his path. Edward turned his head slightly and said, "Let me pass."

"I want to talk, brother to brother," Emmett begged.

"We should have talked before I left for Germany," Edward said. "We should have talked before you ran off with my girlfriend. There were a lot of times we should have talked."

"You're right," Emmett conceded, "But I'm here now, so let's talk."

Edward crossed his arms and waited for Emmett to say something. I was waiting too, having no idea how he would explain what we did to Edward. The room was so quiet only the sound of rain on the roof and the clock on the wall could be heard.

Emmett finally said, "Edward my entire life I cleaned up after your messes. I used my money and my reputation to save our family from embarrassment. You never once thanked me or apologized to me and I didn't care, because you never saw things the way other people did. When you went to Germany it was the first time I was hopeful you would finally become my brother. Instead of accusing me of stealing Bella away, why don't you thank me for cleaning up after you once again?"

I was so torn between both men. Edward couldn't be held accountable for the way he was, but Emmett deserved thanks for being such a wonderful man. I loved one of them, but was indebted to the other.

"Were you going to make time to see the family while you were here?" Emmett asked him outright. "We don't even know what went on in Germany. Are you still there? Are you going back? You've hurt mother very much by remaining so quiet."

Edward looked at Emmett and then back at me. He finally said, "I'll stop by mom and dad's tomorrow morning."

"Where are you staying?" Emmett asked, "Bella lives in your house."

He didn't act surprised by the information, obviously knowing more about the family then they knew about him. "I have a room," he said without explaining anything else. Emmett and I both watched him walk out of the gallery and down the street.

When he was out of sight I turned to Emmett and said, "I'll pick up Masen tonight. I don't want him anywhere Edward can see him or speak to him."

"Bella, he doesn't know," Emmett assured me. "And I think you should be there tomorrow."

I shook my head and walked back to my desk to sit. "No, I can't. Just seeing him with a woman tonight ripped my heart open. I can't be there and lie to him, so I'll stay away and let you guys work it out as a family."

Emmett finally agreed and headed out to speak with his parents. I eventually made it back to the showing and when Jake and Leah saw my dress they both looked stunned. "I got locked outside," I lied.

"Jake and I are leaving; do you want to switch dresses?"

I looked at the dark blue dress she was wearing and quickly nodded my head. "You're a life saver Leah," I said and gave her a big hug.

We rushed into the restroom and changed dresses. The fit wasn't perfect, but it wasn't that bad either. I felt confident enough to continue on with the night. I headed back into the conference center where people were dancing to a string orchestra and walking around the hallways and rooms to look at the beautiful art.

I was talking with some of the artists who frequented the gallery when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Edward and he asked softly, "Would you please dance with me?"

"Oh God," I stammered. "I'm really busy. Perhaps I'll have a free moment later."

He didn't walk away; he continued to stare and then added, "Please Bella, just one dance."

I was afraid he wasn't going to take no for an answer so I set my clipboard down and took hold of his arm. He led me to the dance floor and then pulled me tightly into his arms. It would have been normal for him to say something sexually inappropriate, but instead he said, "This showing was really nice, you should be very proud."

"Thank you," I said softly without further comment.

We danced in silence until he began to give soft kisses on my head. I pulled back and looked up at him. "Please don't do that," I demanded. "It isn't respectful of your girlfriend."

He gave a quick tisk with his tongue and said, "A date is not a girlfriend. She's here for the art and nothing more."

His declaration thrilled me but also worried me that the woman thought she was a girlfriend and he just hadn't told her otherwise. It was something Edward would do and I wasn't going to get pulled into the drama.

"Well, it is rude to do to your date," I clarified.

"Perhaps you're right," he sighed, and my body responded by pulling him even closer to me. I was so tempted to beg him to come spend the night with me, one last time. But how would I explain everything to him? He had to speak to Emmett first.

When the music stopped he took a step back and gave me a smile that broke my heart and set me on fire at the same time. "Thank you for the dance," he said.

I smiled in return and then said, "Goodnight Edward."

He nodded and turned to leave. I went back to work, not leaving until after one in the morning. I stopped by Emmett and Rosalie's house and knocked softly. Emmett carried Masen to my car and spoke quietly so he wouldn't wake him. "Did you talk to Edward any further?"

"No," I said, since our conversation didn't have any relevant information.

"I'll call you as soon as I leave my parents tomorrow," he promised, and I kissed his cheek and got into my car.

I was so tired but also so wound up. I put Masen in my bed and poured myself a glass of wine to unwind. I finally fell asleep to the soft sounds of my baby sleeping next to me. I woke up when I felt a tiny finger poke into my ear. "Mommy, wake up," he giggled.

"Um….mommy's so sleepy," I groaned.

"I want frensh froast," he begged, and making French toast was the last thing I wanted to do.

"How about pop tarts?" I suggested.

"No, frensh froast," he repeated.

I finally forced myself to sit up and he squealed with delight and jumped down from the bed. I had on sweat pants and a tank top without any bra, as I made my way out of the bedroom. The doorbell rang and I looked at the clock to see it was nine in the morning. Surely Emmett wouldn't be here this early unless the conversation with Edward didn't go well.

Masen ran for the door and I allowed him to open it since I thought it was his daddy. I continued on to the kitchen and opened the fridge to get the eggs and crème.

Masen came running into the room and said, "Mommy, it's a man."

I walked over to where I could see the foyer and dropped the eggs in my hand when I saw Edward standing there. He rushed forward to help me clean the mess.

"I thought you were going to the Cullens," I said in surprise.

"I knew you would stay away and I needed to see you and the child alone."

I felt sick to my stomach that he had tricked me. It was me and Masen he intended to talk with, not his family. I reached out for my son protectively and Edward's eyes turned and looked at the boy as if seeing him for the first time.


	17. Chapter 17

I pulled Masen into my arms and held him so Edward couldn't touch him. I didn't think he would grab him and try to run off, but I felt he was here to claim his son and I had to keep it from happening. I introduced them and said, "Masen, this is your Uncle Edward who lives far away."

Edward remained on his knees and smiled at the boy who looked so much like him. I saw it even more pronounced since they were looking right at each other.

"Do you live in Narnia?" he asked.

Edward laughed and said, "I love that movie, maybe we can watch it together sometime?"

I quickly stood and pulled Masen into the kitchen and put him onto his booster chair. "I was making him French toast," I said angrily.

"I'll help," Edward offered but I shook my head and broke new eggs into a bowl. He finally reached out to steady my hands and said, "Let me get everything into the open. I'm not a stupid man, Bella. I'm able to count and actually quite well. I knew what you didn't think I knew." His eyes glanced quickly at Masen to end all hope of this ending pleasantly.

"Did you send the basket?" I asked in a hush and he nodded. "And you show up three and a half years later to tell me you know?"

"You did not want me showing up sooner, I promise," he said and stepped back from me. "I did everything my father told me to do, but I can't let it go any longer."

His words almost knocked the breath out of me. Carlisle knew too, and he never mentioned anything to me or Emmett. I felt like everything was spiraling out of control. Edward turned his attention back to Masen who was watching us closely. He walked over to sit in the chair next to him.

"Do you mind if I eat breakfast with you?" he asked and Masen quickly threw his hands in the air and squealed with delight. I gave Edward a pathetic look and went back to working on the food. All at once the front door flew open and Emmett came barreling in.

"I knew it," he screamed.

I tried to get in his way but he easily pushed me aside. "Emmett calm down," I begged, worried only for Masen.

He walked up to my son and held his arms out. Masen jumped enthusiastically into them and wrapped his little arms around Emmett's neck. Edward stood and Emmett leaned right into his face. "You are lucky I can't respond right now, because I would beat the shit out of you."

"I'm not stupid," Edward said, and Emmett raised his finger to stop him from talking.

"I'm not either. I know what you do and you're nothing but a thief. After all this time away you would think you would have learned at least something about character, but you're a punk who's out for the easy way."

I was now completely confused, but when Emmett said, "I will not let you drag my son into the middle of your illegal life." I suddenly wanted to know what Emmett knew.

I looked at them both and asked, "Is Masen in danger?"

Emmett said yes, and at the same moment Edward said no.

I motioned with my head for Emmett to take Masen with him and then turned to face Edward. I waited until I heard the door shut and then walked over to sit down. Edward sat across from me and I said, "Okay, start from the beginning."

"The beginning was when you talked me into going to Germany," he accused.

"I did not talk you into anything," I interjected.

"But in my mind you did. I learned to concentrate on thoughts that went in a general direction and combine them into one coherent thought process. I couldn't do that before, I moved on to the next idea before understanding fully the last one."

"You never contacted me," I said, sounding like I was complaining.

He got very animated and yelled, "Because you married my brother. God, can you imagine how I felt. I was going to give Germany a shot but come home as soon as possible. I had no reason to return after you married Emmett."

I lowered my eyes and tried my best to explain. "You didn't want kids and I didn't want to trap you into something you didn't want."

"You never gave me the option," he said, and I shook my head.

"You treated me like a fuck buddy and nothing more," I said truthfully.

He sat quietly so I raised my head to look at him. He looked hurt and I felt the desire to reach out and comfort him, but I refrained. He finally said, "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. You were the best relationship I ever had. I did the best I could."

"Tell me about the woman you were with last night," I said, to put the explaining back onto him.

"Tanya, she is…nothing," he said guiltily.

"Does she know she is nothing?" I asked. He hesitated and it told me what I needed to know. I finally asked, "Why are you with these people from Italy?"

"Aro is my benefactor," he said, as if I would understand it at all.

I held up my palms to show him I didn't understand. He stood up and began to pace around the room. He finally said, "Aro thinks I'm talented."

I laughed and he stopped walking to look at me. "Is that the best you've got?" I chuckled. "You act like I just caught you with your pants down and you tell me he thinks you're talented?"

"We just have a complicated relationship. It isn't easy to explain."

"Try me," I said and crossed my arms. "You may be brilliant, but I'm not stupid."

"I can't," he said and turned away from me.

"You can't or you won't?" I pressed.

"They're the same thing," he answered and I was now more confused.

"Look, if my son is in danger I want to know about it," I demanded.

That got his attention and he came back to the table. "I would never put Masen in danger, ever."

I decided to take a cheap shot and said, "Good, because his father will do whatever it takes to protect him."

I could see the anger grow in Edward's face. He tried to keep it contained but his emotions were very readable now. He was talking with his teeth clenched and said, "Maybe you just wanted Emmett all along."

"Go to hell," I said right back to him.

We both grew quiet and I realized he hadn't changed all that much. He was more focused, but he was still secretive and left me out of the majority of his life. I decided to put my whole life out there for him to see, so when we had another major blow up he couldn't accuse me of anything.

"Edward, I found out I was pregnant the night before you left and because of your previous attitude I couldn't tell you. I was still on the pill, but my antibiotics messed it up. You didn't use a condom anymore and yeah, I felt that was my fault."

He nodded, as if agreeing with me so I clenched my teeth and continued. "I wanted to tell you. I wanted nothing more than to work it all out with you. I would have even waited for you to return from Germany, but you made it clear you didn't want a child. Emmett thought of me and of your parents. He thought the child should carry the Cullen name and know its family. I agreed with him. We married but never shared a bed. I have never had sex with Emmett in my life."

His head shot up and he stared into my eyes to see if I was lying. "You can ask Rose if you don't believe me. She was in on it. I don't want you to think this has been easy, because there have been a lot of struggles to make this work. Masen is part of Emmett and Rose's family, and that hurts. Your brother has been there for every birthday, Christmas, Easter, doctor appointment and stumble. Masen is Emmett's son."

He remained quiet so I added the final nail. "Edward, I don't know why you decided to show up now, but it is too late. We're just fine without you."

We went back to the uncomfortable silence until he said, "I hadn't planned to come back just yet. I had no idea you would be at the art showcase tonight."

I smiled and him and said, 'Yeah, I got that when I saw the picture of myself."

He smiled too but it was just a courteous smile, nothing to project happiness. "But once I saw you I couldn't stay away," he added painfully. Tears began to fall down his face and it broke my heart into pieces.

I moved from my chair and put my arms around him. I placed my face next to his and we cried together. Edward eventually turned to pull me onto his lap and held me tightly. "I'm so sorry," he moaned over and over again.

I wanted to forgive him and beg him to take me and Masen away to wherever it was he existed, but I knew we couldn't. My son had stability and love here; I couldn't mess up his life just so I could be with Edward. The realization I would have to say goodbye forever hit me like a brick.

I held onto him with all my strength as I sobbed loudly. He began to kiss my head in an attempt to soothe me, but it only kicked up my desire for him. I made my way sloppily to his mouth and we connected as we both cried out. It was painful and glorious all at the same time.

He quickly stood and carried me to the bedroom as we continued devouring each other with our mouths. It wasn't just the years of pent up passion that came exploding forward, but the love I had kept contained for him for so long.

We fell together to the bed and I expected him to begin ripping off my clothing. Instead he deepened his kisses into slow romantic expressions. This was different than anything I had experienced with Edward and it made me wonder if Tanya had anything to do with it.

When he moved to my neck I whispered, "Edward, can I ask you a question?"

"Anything," he mumbled, as he returned to sucking my neck.

"Are you sleeping with Tanya?"

His entire body froze, giving me my answer. I let my arms fall to the side of his body and he rolled off of me onto his back. He ran his hands through his hair as he sighed loudly. "Bella," he finally said, "I thought you married my brother."

"I did marry your brother," I corrected.

"I thought you were sleeping with my brother. Did you expect me to be faithful to another man's wife?"

I saw his point, but it didn't stop the pain I was feeling. I tried to clarify by saying, "Now you know are you still going to be sleeping with her?"

He finally sat up on the edge of the mattress and kept his back to me. He shook his head a couple of times and mumbled, "It wasn't time yet."

"Wasn't time for what?" I asked.

"To come back," he said softly. I felt he was telling me he couldn't go without Tanya in his bed just yet. Something would eventually end their relationship, but it wasn't time just yet. I needed him to explain, but I knew he wouldn't.

I turned over onto my side and looked at the blank wall. "You need to go now," I told him.

He stood and walked out of my bedroom and out of my life.


	18. Chapter 18

**Since this story is over 30 chapters I decided to load three tonight.**

18

I wanted to go get Masen, but I also had to speak to someone first. I drove to the Cullens and knocked on the door. Esme answered and I asked for Carlisle. I didn't want to have an emotional conversation with her until I knew if she had the same information Carlisle had.

She took me to his office and I sat across from his large cherry desk. "You knew all along," I accused him.

He nodded lightly and said, "It wasn't too difficult to figure out. I saw the way you looked at Edward. I knew there had to be a reason to suddenly marry Emmett."

"Does Esme know?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "We've never discussed it."

"But you did discuss it with Edward," I pointed out.

He looked like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I waited for him to decide what he wanted to say and he finally blurted out, "Bella, let it go and leave things as they are."

I was a bit surprised by his announcement. I was talking only about my child but he seemed to know much more about Edward's life. I decided to see exactly how much he would tell me and asked, "Is Masen in danger?"

"He could be, if you don't let Edward walk away," he said, and my stomach dropped like on a rollercoaster.

I felt like the weight of the world was sitting on my shoulders. Emmett was so good to me, but he wasn't Masen's real father. If Carlisle and Esme knew it too, why did we have to continue pretending? Maybe it was for Masen's safety and I should accept it and stop asking questions, but I couldn't force myself to do what was in my best interest.

"My father's a cop. I could have him look into what Edward is doing, so save us both the trouble and just tell me."

Carlisle leaned forward in his chair and looked me right into the eyes. "If you want to keep your father safe, you won't do that."

Now my heart was truly pounding. If this was something Charlie couldn't handle there was no way Masen would be safe. I asked, "Does it have anything to do with Aro Volturi?"

Carlisle was horrible at hiding his emotions. Now I understood why he was such a straight forward, honest person. I didn't wait for him to answer. I stood and left to get Masen. I doubted the Volturi's knew about me, but I was certain they knew about Emmett.

I pulled into his driveway and Rose met me as I got out of my car. "Bella, he's okay, don't worry," she said to comfort me. I pushed past her and entered the house uninvited. Emmett was on the floor playing with Masen and Lucy.

"He's not leaving here," Emmett warned me.

"Don't threaten me with my own son," I said with a bit of hysterics.

"I told you this was for life," he said forcefully. I glanced at my son and saw him watching us so I softened my expression.

"And I'm his mother for life," I stated and picked Masen up off the floor. "Edward is gone forever."

"Bella, you look exhausted," Rose said. "Let Masen stay and you get some rest."

I spun around to glare at her as I tightened my hold on my child. "He's mine," I screamed at her. "He is my son and I am the one who decides if he stays or goes."

I bolted from the room and when I finished strapping Masen into his car seat Emmett stood by my door and held it open. "Get some rest and we'll talk in a couple of days," he offered. I nodded in agreement just so I could get out of there. I considered heading to Forks, but I was too tired to make the long drive.

I got Masen a happy meal from a fast food restaurant and went straight home. I was running on coffee and feeling jittery. I got online and decided to look up reviews of the event. I paid special attention to information about the people from Italy. I also searched their names to find out they were essentially a crime family. They dealt in art and antiquities, many which various countries accused them of stealing. I assumed they used Edward to spot decent art and help them to buy and sale, or steal.

Masen came over to look at what I was doing and I smiled and pulled him onto my lap. I gave him a kiss and said, "What do you want to do today after your nap?"

He thought for a moment and then asked, "Can I watch Narnia with Uncle Edward?"

I wondered if there was something innate that drew Masen to Edward, something in his DNA that made him respond to a perfect stranger. I smiled and moved his hair out of his eyes. "Edward had to go back to Italy, honey. He won't be back for a long time."

"Why?" he asked sadly.

"He's very busy with his work," I said, which was probably true but also something I hoped to never have to explain to Masen.

"Can I play with Lucy after my nap?" he asked. I knew it must be boring for him around here. Emmett always made sure to keep Masen entertained and Lucy was a natural playmate.

I stood up and kept him in my arms as I made my way to his bed. I didn't want to put him into mine since Edward had just been there and the memory was too painful right now. I climbed into his small bed with him and we both fell right to sleep.

When he woke up he played with my hair for a few minutes and then climbed off the bed and ran into the bathroom. I got up and went to get my cell phone. I called Emmett and asked if Masen could come over and play with Lucy for a little bit more this afternoon. He told me he was out running errands and would pick him up in a few minutes.

I cut up apple slices for a snack and got his shoes and socks on so he would be ready when Emmett arrived. We were both calmer and acting like civilized adults. He whispered to me, "I'll have Rose watch Masen and I'll come by this evening so we can talk."

I agreed and planned to make a list of things I wanted to cover so my emotions wouldn't get the best of me. I watched them drive off and then went into my bathroom to take a long bath. I laid in the hot water and kept Edward out of my mind as I made plans for the gallery.

I got out and stood naked in the room to blow dry my hair. When the doorbell rang I put on a robe and looked out the window to make sure it wasn't Edward. I was stunned to see Tanya standing at my door. I opened it to reveal her pale face with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her shirt was covered in blood and she pushed past me and the turned to slam the door.

"Bella, get dressed, you have to get out of here as soon as possible," she gasped.

"What?" I said with fear.

"You have to go, come on and get dressed," she said, grabbing me with a bloody hand and pulling me away from the door.

"What's going on?" I begged her.

"Edward tried to leave, he wanted out and they killed him," she said.

I wrenched my arm out of her hold and stood in absolute shock. I saw the blood and knew it wasn't hers, it was Edward's. "I have to call the police," I said as the blood drained from my face.

"No," she screamed. "They can't help you. Look, they are coming after you and you have to leave. I have some fake documents you can use, but you have to leave, now."

"My son," I gasped.

"They don't know about him. Edward said to leave him with Emmett and get out of town."

"You talked to him?" I asked as my own tears began to fall.

"Yes, he said he is sorry and he loved you," she added tenderly, "Right before he died."

It felt like she had punched me in the chest. He loved me and I would never hear those words again. Edward would never get the opportunity to know Masen as a grown man. I couldn't just run off and leave him, surely Edward knew that.

"I can't leave my son," I said in tears.

"Bella, do you love him?" she asked, getting right into my face. I nodded, unable to talk. "Then move your ass and save his life. He is as good as dead if you try to run with a kid."

I forced myself to move my legs and ran into the bedroom. I dressed quickly and threw a bunch of clothes into a suitcase. Tanya ran and washed her hands and then rushed me to her car and we sped away. She told me to get the folder from the glove box and it was filled with cash, credit cards, a fake birth certificate and documents.

"Take a picture and use it for the passport and drivers license." She took my phone and handed me a new one. "I'll know how to reach you if anything changes. But Bella, stay far from Washington state, do you understand?"

I nodded again, although I didn't understand anything going on around me. She pulled up in front of the airport and handed me a ticket to Arizona. I jumped from the idling car and she sped away. I kept my head down as I made my way to the gate. I boarded the plane as Bella Cullen, but I would get off the plane as Bree Smith.

Everything in my life just turned upside down and I had no idea why, or how I would ever straighten it all out. I was tempted to call my father and ask for help, but I didn't even know what help I needed. The thought of Edward being dead pushed me into a severe depression. I cried for two days inside a small hotel room, too terrified to even leave for food.

Nobody seemed to be looking for me or watching the place, so I decided to get up and try to find out what in the hell was going on.

I headed to a local library and checked out one of the computers. I sat in a small soundproof room and tried to find anything about Edward. Nothing came up, as if he didn't exist. I did find something shocking when I looked up my own name.

I had been supposedly found dead. The house was burned along with my body and they were holding a funeral for me this very day. The thought of Emmett having to tell Masen I was dead drove me insane with grief. I cried loudly and someone came to the small room to check on me.

I left the library and walked to the bus stop. I stared at the route map and tried to figure out how to make my way to the train station. I arrived in the late afternoon and purchased a ticket with cash to Portland. I would figure out how to get to Seattle from there.

I wore a hoodie even though it was hot outside. I pulled it up over my head and leaned my head onto the seat in front of me. I rode the train that way until it got dark. Then I sat back and closed my eyes as I struggled to come up with a plan.

I needed to see Masen, I wasn't sure I would let him see me, but I needed to see for myself my baby was okay. Then I would go find Carlisle. If anyone knew what was going on it would be him. I would force him to tell me and beg him to help me so I could be with my child. Since Edward was dead, Emmett was truly Masen's father. I trusted him to keep Masen safe, but I wanted him to be able to keep me safe too.

I had to believe someone would have an idea of what needed to be done, or my life would not be worth living.


	19. Chapter 19

19

I didn't speak to anyone on the three day ride. I stayed to the back of the train and every time it stopped I would put my head down. I kept Masen front and center in my mind. I knew deep down he was okay with Emmett and Rose, and it was most likely better for him not to be taken back and forth from the two houses.

My emotions were all over the place and one moment I had decided to take my son and run, then in the next moment I planned to get one last look at him and then leave forever. I wished I had that opportunity with Edward. I should have had sex with him one last time. He would have died knowing he was the only man I ever loved.

The train stopped in San Francisco and I got off long enough to purchase some food and a newspaper. I saw the art exhibit was coming to this city next for an exhibition. I stared at Aro's face and knew he had something to do with killing Edward. I wanted to get my father's gun and show up at the show just to shoot him in the face. I knew deep down his entourage would never let me get close enough.

I had a backpack and just a few clothes with me when I exited the train in Portland. I knew it was possible to take city buses up to Seattle but it would be a very long process. I picked up a pamphlet with bus information and headed out onto the street.

A man stood against the front bricks of the train station and watched me carefully. I would take a few steps and then turn to see if he was still staring. He finally nodded his head and I picked up my pace. He followed but stayed back without gaining any ground. I finally jumped into a waiting cab and told the man to hurry as quickly as possible to the bus station.

I was able to calm down after we put some distance between the cab and the station. I leaned up onto the seat and asked, "Do you which bus I would take to Tacoma?"

"I can take you for forty bucks," he offered. I pulled out my cash, not wanting to use the credit card and saw I still had two hundred dollars.

"Okay, take me to Sea-Tec," I said, planning to rent a car at the airport.

I wasn't sure if I should go to Emmett's first or to see Carlisle. I was overly anxious to see my baby, but I needed answers so I could decide if I wanted to grab him or not. I finally decided to go by the hospital and see if Carlisle or Esme were there.

I kept my hoodie on and walked with my head lowered so none of the cameras would catch my face. I waited down the hallway until his secretary went into the bathroom and then I slipped into Carlisle's office. He was dictating into a machine and didn't look up or turn around until he finished. I waited silently until his chair turned.

He gasped loudly and knocked the machine off the stand as he tried to stand. I realized at that moment he thought I was really dead. I held my hands out slowly and said, "Carlisle, I'm okay. It wasn't me."

I suddenly realized not only my son thought I was dead but most likely my parents did too. I thought I was going to fall down so I rushed over and sat in a chair as I cried out, "Oh God, Oh God." I bent over and held onto my stomach tightly. I was exhausted and starving, but this was more than I could handle.

"But they identified the body," Carlisle said.

I looked up and asked, "Who did?"

"The medical examiner used your dental records," he said and finally managed to sit in the chair next to me.

"You have to tell me everything Edward was involved with," I begged. "I have to know to save my son."

Carlisle nodded and began to speak in a soft, quiet voice. "He was approached by the government when he was at the institute in Germany. His talent in art and the ability to keep track of everything around him as he thought on his feet made him the perfect person for the job."

"What job?" I asked.

"They wanted him to infiltrate an international ring of art thieves. He makes reproductions and they switch out the real art for the fakes. He's collecting information to have the leaders arrested."

"Aro Voturi, he's the leader?"

Carlisle nodded and I shook my head as everything Edward said to me made sense now. Carlisle asked, "May I call Esme in here?"

I thought for a moment and then shook my head. "I don't know what I'm dealing with just yet. For her safety let's wait a bit."

"Okay, so how can I…." His phone rang and he looked down before saying, "I'm sorry, I have to take this call."

I nodded and when he answered I got up and made my way to the door. He reached for a large notebook and I slipped from the room. I ran down the hallway and out to my car before Carlisle could come after me. I couldn't cry with him over Edward, it would break me completely and I had to go see Masen.

I parked far from the street and made my way through the wooded area behind the house. I waited there as the sun began to set. I hoped to see them in the yard playing, but the lights were on in the house and nobody came outside.

Once it was fully dark I made my way slowly up to the house. I peaked in at the brightly lit room to see the family sitting down for dinner. Masen was smiling and talking animatedly to Emmett. I longed to hold him, to kiss his soft skin and touch his silky hair.

My body was shaking so I wrapped my arms around my body to hold myself together. I saw Rose set a plate in front of him and then lean down to kiss his head. It wasn't fair I had to be hidden here in the dark as they got to love my son. I knew they were doing it truly out of love, but I felt exiled from my own life.

I decided to do something about it. I would wait until they put him into bed and then sneak inside and take him with me. I would leave a note promising them I would keep him safe, but he needed to be with his mother.

I made my way back into the woods and waited. I sat on a damp log and closed my eyes. I dreamed of Edward and Masen. We were all together and happy. It felt so real I woke up with tears running down my face. I glanced over to see the house was dark.

I made my way to the garage and pushed the side light to pull out the house key. I went to the side door and unlocked it so I could sneak inside. I went back to the light and put the key away before sneaking back to the door.

Just as I turned the knob a hand came around my body and held a wet rag to my face. I kicked and tried to scream but the man holding me was too strong. The door became fuzzy and it bulged in and out as I struggled to stay conscious. It was no use, as my knees buckled and I fell to the ground in darkness.

I had no idea how long I was out, but I woke up in the trunk of a car. I could tell we were not on the interstate because the car was winding slowly, making several stops as if we were on side streets. I didn't know if I should kick and scream or if it would only bring death sooner.

I listened every time the car stopped to see if I could hear the sound of people lurking nearby. It was always silent and the radio playing in the car made it more difficult to hear. The car finally pulled to a stop and the engine cut off.

I heard the driver exit and walk on gravel around the far side of the car. I heard a house door open and then close, so I looked around the trunk for anything I could use as a weapon. I found a tire iron and held it firmly in my hand.

The door to the house opened again and I heard the footsteps coming toward the trunk. I didn't know if I should come out swinging or pretend to be out and make my move at a later time. As the key entered the lock I quickly put the tire iron up my shirt and closed my eyes. I held perfectly still as the trunk opened and the light turned on.

Someone leaned over to pull me up and the tire iron pressed into my gut as I was lifted from the trunk. I was too afraid to peek but when I felt myself lowered onto a blanket spread across the gravel I pulled the iron and swung as hard as I could.

The man swayed and I raised it again as he slowly fell face first onto the blanket. I grabbed the keys and ran for the car. I jumped in and started the engine, spraying gravel as I hit the accelerator as hard as possible.

I couldn't go forward very far so I tried to do a three point turn. When I backed up I hit into another car but I threw mine in drive and lunged forward. I got turned around and pulled on the light switch to see where my kidnapper was laying. The lights settled on his body and I saw him move.

I cried out as he moved to get up and gunned the engine but the car didn't move. I looked down to see it was in neutral so I got it into the right gear and looked up again. The man was now standing but he weaved a little as if drunk. He turned to the sound of the car and was flooded in lights.

My feet hit the brakes and kept pushing as if I couldn't tell I had stopped. My entire body was shaking as I continued to sob loudly. He had a rush of blood running down the side of his head where I had hit him, but his face was clear enough for me to make out who he was.

I stared into the face of Edward. He was alive and standing right in front of me. But he had placed me in a trunk after drugging me, so I had no idea if he was my savior or the enemy. Maybe this whole thing was all a way to get my son away from me. Perhaps Edward wanted to raise him with Tanya and needed me out of the way.

I pulled my feet off the brakes and pressed firmly on the gas. I expected Edward to jump out of the way, but instead he jumped right onto the hood of the car and hung on with his long arms. His body blocked my view and I held the steering wheel straight as we veered off the road and down an embankment before hitting head on into a tree.

My head flew forward and I smashed into the steering wheel as the air bag deployed. I tried to see what happened to Edward but all I could see was smoke coming from the front of the car. I opened the door and got out, feeling blood running down my face from a cut just over my eye.

I made my way up the gully as a loud explosion came from behind me, erupting the entire car in flames.


	20. Chapter 20

20

I fell to the ground, scraping my palms as I tried several times to get myself upright. I saw the narrow gravel road flanked by thick trees. I began running and someone jumped from the dark brush and grabbed me around my waist. I screamed and fought but he pulled me to his chest and held me tightly.

"Jesus Bella, what the fuck are you doing alive?"

"Me?" I screamed at him, "You are supposed to be dead. I saw your blood all over her. You kidnapped me, so you knew I was alive."

He looked totally lost and shook his head as he tried to sort it all out. "My father called and said he saw you. I knew you would go to Masen."

"So you drug me and lock me in a trunk?"

"Yes, I don't want the Volturi to know you are here. I assume they are behind this."

"Tanya said they killed you. She showed up covered in blood and sent me away. She was the one who burned down the house, but who was inside?"

Edward looked like something I said turned a switch in his head. He looked around in panic and began pulling me toward the house as he said, "We have to get out of here." I pulled back but he only held on tighter. "God, I knew there was a mole," he mumbled, "Stupid bitch."

I assumed he wasn't talking about me, but I couldn't be too sure. He opened the door to the small car I had backed into and pushed me inside. He left the lights off as he sped away and headed into the forest instead of back to the main road.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"How did you get to Emmett's house?" he yelled as he leaned forward to see the dark road.

"I had a rental car. I parked several blocks away."

He nodded and then pulled onto a forest service road and finally turned the lights on. "We'll get Masen and the car."

I began smacking his arm in fervor as I screamed, "I was getting Masen and you stopped me."

He pushed me in the chest so I fell back against the door. "Stop hitting me," he screamed. "We need to figure this out."

"Figure what out?" I cried.

He was quiet for a moment and then whispered, "Okay, I see now."

I collapsed onto the seat in exhaustion. I had no idea what was going on and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. Edward continued mumbling to himself and every once in a while I would tell him where to turn. We pulled up to the rental car and left the one we had in its place.

When we got to Emmett's Edward told me to stay in the car. The door was still unlocked so he was in and out in less than a minute. Masen was asleep in his arms and when he handed him to me I cried and kissed his sleepy face.

Edward went back into the house and was gone for several minutes this time. When he returned we drove off into the darkness. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"We need official help to stay in hiding. Can we go to Forks?" he asked.

"My father?" I gasped; terrified I would get him killed.

"I need help Bella, this is a big step for me so get on board," he admitted.

It made me laugh to think of Edward asking for help. I nodded and kissed Masen's forehead. I wasn't sure how to explain everything to Charlie, but I trusted my father to do whatever it took to keep me and my son safe. I wasn't so sure he would try to keep Edward safe, but I would try to convince him.

We drove for half an hour as Edward worked out some sort of plan in his head. I finally asked about Emmett, terrified he would try to have us arrested for taking Masen. "Will Emmett call the police?" I asked him.

"I left him a note," he said with a lot of emotion for Edward.

"Can you tell me what it said?"

He took a deep breath and then said, "He was right, he always cleaned up my messes. I didn't realize it but I've got an amazing brother."

My eyes filled with tears and I looked down at Masen's sleeping face. He was going to miss his dad, and I was the one taking him away.

"I asked him to trust me for once, just this one time, and let me prove to him I can do things right. I promised Masen would be safe, but he wasn't safe with Emmett."

I nodded and reached over to touch his cheek. He pressed his face against my palm and turned to kiss it softly. He was alive and it was all my heart could focus on. I still loved him and I wanted him to know in case this turned out badly. "Edward," I called out and he turned to look at me. "I love you. I just wanted you to know it."

"I've loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you, and I've never stopped loving you," he replied, to send my heart racing.

I decided to bring up the elephant in the room and said, "My parents don't know about Masen, and they are not big fans of yours, if you recall."

He looked out the window into the darkened surroundings and said, "I hate Washington. I have so much to make up for here. It is easier when nobody knows what a prick I was."

I wanted a fresh start too. I wanted to be a family with Edward and Masen, where nobody knew any differently. I leaned closer to him and said, "If we get out of this alive, let's go away. We can start new anywhere you want."

He looked at me and then began explaining things. It was the first time he filled me in as he shared his thoughts and feelings. "I never wanted this Bella. I was going to learn to think clearly and come right back to continue on as an artist. I liked painting. It gave me confidence and kept my mind from racing. I made a good living and I could have taken care of you. But then…."

I looked at Masen and Edward turned to look at him too. He smiled at the face that looked so much like his. "I guess I had more to learn than I thought," he admitted.

"Do you understand you never communicated with me what you thought in your heart? I had no idea you wanted a life with me."

"The way I was…." He shook his head a few times. "It wouldn't have worked."

I totally agreed with him, but I remained quiet since he was communicating so well.

"I can mimic different artist styles. I notice subtle differences in the hues and the Chroma. When they approached me about infiltrating Aro's business, it was a game. I didn't worry about people getting hurt; I only worried if my art would pass for the originals. I knew there was someone feeding Aro information; I never dreamed it was Tanya. She's an agent acting as my girlfriend to help me work all this out. She turned on me, and I don't know who to trust now."

"You can trust my father," I told him honestly. I knew my dad was a by the book cop. "But we need to address his feelings about you."

He looked stunned as if it never occurred to him my father would have an issue with him. I would have to explain Emmett and tell him Edward was really Masen's father. I began to think it would be easier to take our chances with Aro and Tanya.

"He doesn't like me?" Edward asked.

"When he met you for the only time you announced you came over for sex and then told them you were horny. No, he doesn't like you," I laughed.

Edward laughed, "Yeah, you wouldn't do me in the hallway."

"No, I wouldn't," I said, and shook my head at the memory.

We both laughed and it felt so good to laugh with him again. The years had passed by but my feelings had remained the same for him. He finally noticed the time and said, "We can't show up at four in the morning, why don't we stop at Port Angeles and get a room?"

"Okay," I said and felt nervous about being alone with him in a hotel, luckily Masen was with us and it would be him in my bed, not Edward.

I carried him into the room and we left the lights out as we both pulled off our jeans and got ready for bed. I went into the bathroom and washed the blood off of my face before climbing into bed with Masen. Edward was out in a matter of seconds and it made me smile when I remembered how quickly he used to fall asleep.

I pulled Masen closely to me and eventually drifted off to sleep. When I woke up I reached out for my baby and found the bed empty. I sat up quickly and looked over for Edward. His bed was empty too. I jumped up and ran into the hallway without putting my jeans on.

I found the place empty and ran toward the elevator as I yelled for Masen. The door opened to the elevator and Edward stepped out carrying a tray. Masen was walking next to him drinking out of a small carton of milk.

Edward looked at my bare legs and said, "What's wrong?"

"Don't leave without telling me," I said with panic.

Masen smiled and said, "Uncle Edward got me a donut."

Edward and I both looked at each other guiltily. I wasn't sure what to say so I smiled and picked Masen up and carried him back to our room. I ate some fruit and drank some juice before taking a quick shower. When I came back into the room Edward and Masen were sitting in the same bed watching cartoons.

I loved seeing them together and how easily they seemed to be connecting. I told Masen to come take a bath but he instantly grabbed onto Edward and said, "I want to watch cartoons."

Edward looked at me and begged, "We're not in any hurry, come watch with us." He held out his hand and I walked over and took it. He pulled me close and scooted so I could sit next to him. I relaxed and laid my head on his shoulder as Masen leaned into Edward's side.

For a few moments we were together without any worries or problems. We were a family and it felt wonderful. During commercial Masen asked, "Can I play with Lucy today?"

I reached over to tap his nose and said, "No baby, we're going to Forks to see Grandma and Grandpa Swan. Maybe Grandpa will take you fishing."

He smiled and turned back to the television. Edward looked at me and said, "He needs a sibling."

I pulled away from him and headed to the bathroom to start Masen's bath. I glanced over my shoulder and said, "Maybe this time Jasper will marry me."

Edward jumped up and ran after me. I screamed and tried to make it into the bathroom but he caught me around the waist and then tossed me over his shoulder. He turned to Masen and said, "Should I spank mommy? I think she was being a very naughty girl."

"Yeah, yeah," Masen laughed as he jumped up and down on the mattress.

Edward pretended to spank me and then dropped me onto the other bed before crashing on top of me. We were both laughing hysterically and when we looked at each other the laughter faded. He moved slowly and gave me a deep kiss.

"This is better than any painting," he murmured. "This is real."

I didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't real. We were hiding out with our child from his brother and some crime family who wanted us dead. This was surreal and not the life I wanted for my son. I decided to tell him the only thing that was real at the moment. "I love you, and I'm so happy you're Masen's father."


	21. Chapter 21

**I'll load three chapters again, because I am the WORST ever at waiting!**

21

We pulled in front of my parents' home and I noticed the squad car in the driveway. I really hoped my father would be at the station and would have time to adjust to the thought of me being alive and Edward being in his home. My mother would accept anyone, but Charlie was harder to keep calm.

I got out of the car and walked slowly to the front door. I knocked instead of walking in and waited nervously as footsteps could be heard coming closer. The door opened and my mother gasped before screaming loudly. She grabbed onto her heart as if she was going to drop to the ground.

"Mom, it's me. I'm so sorry someone lied to you. I'm alive and I am so sorry," I cried and opened the storm door so I could hug her tightly. She sobbed into my hair and held me as if she never wanted to let go.

I finally pulled back and she asked, "Is Masen with you?" I nodded and motioned toward the car for them to come forward.

She saw Edward walking toward the house with Masen in his arms and looked back at me with a questioning glance. "I'll explain it all in a minute."

She held the door open widely and we all walked past her and into the family room. She yelled, "Charlie, come see, we have company."

My dad's steps could be heard walking across the hallway and down the stairs. I smiled widely when he entered the room and said, "Hi, Daddy."

He stopped cold and stared at me like he was seeing a ghost. I tried to explain but he pulled me into his arms and kissed my face over and over again.

My mother had taken Masen out of Edward's arms and when my dad turned around Edward held out his hand for Charlie's. My father gave Edward a double glance and then spun around to look at me.

"I can explain," I said quickly.

"Mr. Swan," Edward called out, and I shook my head at him so he wouldn't speak, but he continued on. "I apologize for my comments about sex and trying to seduce Bella in the hallway outside of her apartment."

"Edward, don't," I begged.

He looked at me with a terrified expression and then back at my father and said, "I'm not the same person anymore."

Charlie glared angrily and said, "I'm not too happy with any of the Cullen boys, but we have to put up with Emmett since he's Masen's father."

I could see the pain it cause Edward to hear those words, and I actually wished he would have blurted out the truth. I didn't want it to happen in front of Masen, but it would have made things easier if my parents knew.

Edward took a deep breath and then said to my father, "Sir, I need to talk to you professionally. Is there somewhere we can go for coffee and talk?"

My father tossed his head toward the garage and put on his gun before leading Edward out the door and into his squad car. I watched them drive away with trepidation and then turned my attention to my mother. She was talking with Masen and I watched with a big smile on my face.

She looked up at me and said, "Are you dating Edward?"

"It's complicated," I said sadly. "Can I make Masen a sandwich and then put him down for a nap?"

She nodded and we all went into the kitchen. I used one of her dinosaur cookie cutters to cut the bread of his sandwich. He chatted happily and telling his grandma all the fun things he does with Lucy. I realized he did need a sibling but Edward and I weren't anywhere near a decision that big.

When I got him down for a nap I returned to the kitchen and sat across the table from my mother. I smiled and my eyes filled with tears. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked and took my hands into hers.

"Mom, I have to tell you something and I really wish I didn't," I admitted.

"It can't be that bad honey, look at the miracle you brought us, just say it," she encouraged.

I decided the best thing to do is just blurt it out and get it over with. I said hurriedly, "Masen is Edward's son, and we are hiding from a crime family who wants us dead."

She chuckled as if I had made a joke and when she saw I wasn't laughing with her the smile on her face fell into a look of shock. She glanced back at the stairs, obviously thinking of Masen and said, "But…Emmett."

"Emmett agreed to marry me in name only. We were never a real couple and Edward didn't know I was pregnant…well, he knew Masen was his when he was born….I mean he could count and knew then, but I never told him before he left for Germany."

"He's in the military?" she asked with confusion.

"No, Edward has a very high intellect. He was misdiagnosed as a child and went to a special school in Germany to learn how to manage his…condition. He's a very talented artist and he's great with money, and…" I realized I was rambling and stopped talking so my mother could catch up. I ended with, "I love him, mom."

She finally asked the big question I had been trying to ignore. "Is Emmett okay with all of this?"

I groaned and shrugged my shoulders. "I'm sure he is freaking out and trying to come up with all kinds of ways to find us. But we don't have anything in writing; we don't even have a custody agreement. If Edward is capable of parenting, I want us to be together as a family."

"So why are you running from some crime family? Is he involved in illegal activity?"

"Yes," I said sadly, "But he isn't one of them. He is working for the feds to crack a stolen art ring. He thinks their agent was working both sides. He needs dad's help to figure it out."

My mother shook her head and said proudly, "Well, your father will figure it out. He's very good at his job."

I smiled at her assurance and wondered if I would ever feel that trust in Edward. I had to admit it was driving me crazy to know Edward and my father were alone somewhere and I couldn't act as a buffer. He had made tremendous strides from where he was, but he still was too blunt and too quick to say whatever was on his mind.

I was so relieved when I heard the squad car pull up. I jumped up and ran to the door to see both men looking stoic and a bit stressed. I gave Edward a hug and when I went to hug my father he said, "Bells, can I have a minute alone with you."

I nodded as I tried to swallow down the bile rising in my throat. I followed him outside and he motioned for me to get into his car. I sat stiffly as he tried to find the words he wanted to say. He eventually turned to look at me and said, "What in the hell is wrong with that boy?"

"Who?" I asked innocently, but my father gave me a knowing look and I finally sighed and said, "There's nothing wrong with him. He's a brilliant man, but his thoughts come so quickly he doesn't see anything wrong with saying what is on his mind. It is like he needs to purge a thought so he can make room for more. It is hard for him to concentrate on one thing since he is capable of so many other thoughts at the same time."

Charlie thought about it for a moment and then said, "Tell him to stop talking about your talents in the bedroom."

I couldn't help the smile that grew on my face and I said, "Really, he said that?"

"Jesus Bella, I'm your father."

"Oh yeah, I'll tell him," I said, and then turned my head to smile. It honestly made me feel great for Edward to comment on my performance because I know how incapable he was of saying something that wasn't true. I had no idea how the subject came up, but I felt complimented.

"I got a call from Carlisle while we were out. He wanted to tell me you were still alive and you had run off with Masen."

"I didn't run off with Masen. He's my son and I can take him wherever I want," I said angrily.

"Well, Emmett doesn't agree," he said and I realized Edward didn't tell him he was Masen's dad. I was so angry that he managed to talk about us having sex but didn't think to tell him about Masen.

"Emmett doesn't have a say on how I raise my son," I said adamantly and shook my head.

"You're wrong and I would take him back myself if I didn't think he was in danger," Charlie said to stun me.

"You don't trust me to care for my child?" I yelled.

"Bella, you're seeing his brother, it has to hurt," he said to defend Emmett.

"Yes, it hurts Edward, not Emmett," I said as my voice rose. "I dated Edward four years ago, not Emmett. Do you hear what I'm saying, Dad?"

He stared at me as if I was speaking French. I felt my eyes fill with tears because I knew I was going to hurt my father. He saw me as his little girl, who worked hard to make it through college and was proudly making it through a divorce and raising my child with my ex under friendly terms.

Before I could say anything my dad spoke with a shaky voice and said, "Bella, why didn't you trust me. Why did Edward have to suggest you come to me?"

"I trust you," I said forcefully. "I was terrified of getting you hurt. I thought they killed Edward and I couldn't let you and mom end up hurt."

He nodded as if he was trying to understand so I finally asked, "Can you help us, dad?"

"I have a connection at the CIA. I can find out what they are doing. I have to admit Edward is very resourceful and thinks up unique ways to handle things."

"What do you mean?"

"He's kept a blog about every step he's taken. It is the perfect way to keep times and dates solid. It is like hiding in plain sight."

I thought about it for a moment and wondered if he would let me read it. I wanted to see what had been going on with him and Tanya. I knew it would be hard to read, because Edward would be so blunt about it. My father interrupted my thoughts and said, "Um…the thing that has not happened again between you two, I don't want it happening here. Put Edward in with Masen."

I nodded nervously and decided it was time to get everything out into the open. I took my father's hand and said, "That is a good idea, because Edward needs to get to know Masen better. Because….he's his real father."

I was watching my father's eyes closely and I could see the way he tried to keep the words from sinking in. He looked confused and then extremely tired. I began to cry so he pulled me into his arms and held me. I didn't deserve his tenderness. I had disappointed him so much.

He tried to quiet my cries and said, "Bella, we thought you were dead. This is nothing honey, it will just take a moment to get used to it."

I looked up at his concerned face and said, "Dad, I love Edward and he's changed so much. Please give him a chance."

It was a lot to ask of Charlie but he nodded and gave me a genuine smile. I kissed his cheek and then told him the entire story of how I ended up marrying Emmett. He was impressed with Emmett's generosity but chastised me for not coming to them with the truth. He finally pointed out the biggest problem.

"Bella, how are you going to tell Masen? I've seen him with Emmett and he idolizes him."

I looked over at the house and worried about Masen and what I was going to do to his development. "I'll ask a professional," I said, realizing I was in over my head.

My father leaned over and gave me a kiss before saying, "Okay, hop on out so I can get to work on this mess."

It reminded me of Emmett's words, telling Edward he always cleaned up his messes. Was my father doing it now? Had I moved from a stable arrangement back into Edward's crazy world? I got out of the car and headed into the house.


	22. Chapter 22

22

I wasn't sure what I expected to see. I guess it wouldn't surprise me to see Masen and Edward watching a movie together, or sharing a plate of food. I was shocked to find them rough housing together in the middle of the living room. Edward was on all fours and Masen was sitting on his back as Edward bucked and kicked. They were both laughing hysterically and it was nothing like the calm play Masen engaged in with Emmitt.

"Mommy, I'm riding a horsey," Masen announced.

"Wow," I exclaimed, "Are you sure it's not a donkey?"

Edward glanced at me with narrowed eyes and it made me laugh. He jumped to his feet and Masen held on tightly to Edward's neck. I reached out in a panic, thinking Masen would fall but Edward had a firm grip on him.

"Be careful," I warned.

"Faster," Masen yelled, and Edward took off in a bumpy manner.

My mother came into the room and said, "They've been at it all hour."

"It will tire Masen out and make him sleep better," I offered. It was the truth, but I wasn't sure how healthy it was for them to play so aggressively. I didn't have brothers and Emmett never got so physical with Masen.

I turned to focus on my mother and said, "We need clothes. Is there anywhere close to get a few things?"

"They have a few things at the general store, just jeans and t-shirts."

"Edward," I called out, and he stopped long enough to look at me. "We need to get some clothes."

He pulled his wallet from his pocket and tossed it to me. "Get whatever we need," he said and took off again.

I had to jump in front of the doorway to keep his attention. "You need to come with me," I said, not sure of his size but also not sure if I should leave Masen and Edward alone together.

He took another turn around the room and then called out, "Hey Masen, do you want to go shopping for clothes?"

"No," he squealed. "I want to go fishing."

"You have to wait for Grandpa to go fishing," I stated adamantly, not trusting Edward to watch him around water.

Edward held still as he thought something through. He turned to Renee and asked, "Do you have any kitchen sponges?" She nodded so he pulled Masen off of his back and said, "We can fish in the bathtub."

Masen jumped up and down with joy and Edward held his little hand and took him outside to find a small stick to use as a pole. I didn't wait for the end result. I turned to my mother and said, "Can you keep an eye on both of them while I get us some clothes and supplies?"

"Don't worry, Bella. Edward appears to be doing a great job," she smiled. I liked that she had faith in him; I just wished I did too.

I headed into town and picked up some clothes for all three of us. I bought some makeup, toothbrushes, combs, and other toiletries. I wasn't sure of the styles I chose, but there was a limited selection to begin with. When I got home I found them in the kitchen eating fish shaped toast.

"Mommy, I caught some fish in the tub and Uncle Edward cooked them."

I saw some fish shaped sponges resting in the sink and I smiled at Edward's creativity. Masen was in heaven and never asked to play with Lucy once. I pulled out the clothes and expected Edward to moan or complain, but he only nodded and went back to talking to Masen. I took the clothing to the wash room and put them in the washer.

I stood there listening to the tub fill with water when Edward came in to see me. I glanced up at the doorway and he winked at me. "I feel so overwhelmed," I admitted.

He walked slowly toward me and I felt my heart speed up in anticipation. He leaned against the dryer and pulled me into his arms. "Thank you," he said earnestly.

"For what?" I asked.

"For letting me spend so much time with Masen. This was the greatest day of my life," he admitted with tears in his eyes.

I placed my face on his chest and held him tightly. I had no idea what was going to happen to us, or if we even had a future together, but today he was grateful and that made me happy. We remained silent as we rocked back and forth in each other's arms. The old Edward would never be this content and remain this silent. I tried to enjoy it while I could.

Masen interrupted us by laughing and saying, "Are you going to kiss?"

Edward pulled my head back and peppered my face with silly kisses, causing Masen to scream with delight. I finally managed to pull away and wiped my face with my hand. Edward laughed and scooped up Masen in his arms and took him into the family room to watch an animated movie.

Once he was engrossed in the film Edward came upstairs to find me. He shut the door and locked it, so I thought I better warn him of my father. "Since you found it necessary to tell my father we haven't had sex again yet, he found it necessary to tell me it better not happen in his house."

He wiggled his eyebrows and said, "Would you like to step into the forest with me?"

"You expect me to do you in the mud?" I said, and rolled my eyes.

His expression changed and he walked over to where I sat and kneeled in front of me. "No Bella, I don't want anything like that. I love you, and I want to make love to you."

I let my hand run up his cheek and into his hair. I was so crazy about this man, and I knew there was no way to resist him. I pulled him to my mouth and kissed him with all the energy I possessed. He slowly rose to push me back and lined his body up with mine.

I wanted him slowly, but my body wanted him fast. We were engaged it a bitter feud as we performed a wild ballet of arms and legs. His hand was up my shirt and mine was down his jeans just as Masen knocked on the door.

"Mommy, where's Uncle Edward?" he called out.

Our hands fell from each other's bodies and Edward took a deep steadying breath as his head rested on my chest. "See why I didn't want children," he teased.

I smacked his ass and pushed him off of me. I opened the door and said, "He's in here." Edward patted the bed and Masen ran and jumped up to lie next to him. I got on the other side of Masen and Edward and I clasped hands over his tiny body.

"So young man," Edward said with a deep authoritative tone. "Tell me about yourself."

Masen laughed and said in a quick rush of words, "I'm Masen Emmett Cullen and when I turn four I'm going to preschool."

Edward smiled with pride and asked, "Do you have lots of friends?"

Masen nodded and said, "I play with my sister Lucy and my friends Dougy and Parker."

Edward's face filled with emotion as he nodded and said, "Good, always be a good friend to other's Masen, it is very important."

I saw the sad child inside of Edward who never had friends and felt so different from other children. I was happy Masen didn't inherit it from him, and I also realized for the first time how much my relationship with him must have meant. I assumed he would replace me with the first woman who crossed his path, but he never had long relationships, just hook ups. I saw clearly all the things I had missed before.

I smiled at Edward and announced with pride, "Edward is my best friend," I told Masen.

"Do you ride him like a horsey?" Masen asked, and both Edward and I began to laugh.

"No, but I wish she would," Edward said and winked at me again.

I heard the door open downstairs and felt a sense of dread settle over us. My father was home and the little imaginary world we existed in was coming to an end. Edward gave me a halfhearted effort at a smile and the rose to head downstairs. I gave Masen a couple of kisses and then said, "Let's go see Grandpa."

We walked downstairs and listened to Masen talk about his day. Renee finally took him into the other room and we sat down at the table to talk. Charlie didn't look happy or relieved and it filled me with dread.

"What did you find out?" Edward asked.

"Well Romeo, it seems the agent turned because of you. She was dragging out the case to get closer to you," Charlie said to our stunned faces.

"Wait," I said angrily. "This has nothing to do with the Volturi's?"

"No," Charlie informed us. "Edward has plenty of information to bring them down. It was Tanya's interference that kept the case going."

I turned and looked at Edward and he let his head fall in guilt. I wanted to box his ears and tell him to call his whore and end it, but I knew it wasn't that simple. If she was willing to stage my death she might be willing to actually do it.

I saw a small smirk form on Edward's face and I pushed him with my shoulder, "Don't you dare laugh Edward. This isn't funny."

"I know," he said unable to contain his smile. "I realize she put you and your family through hell. God, I even let her comfort me," he groaned, and I turned and smacked his arm. I didn't want to hear about him finding comfort in her arms, even if it was over me.

"Then why are you laughing," I demanded.

"I'm not laughing, I'm just feeling a bit….I don't know….proud," he said, and I began pummeling him again.

My father had to pull me off of him and ordered me to calm down. I felt like a fishwife desperate to hang onto her man. Edward was the only person to illicit such strong reactions out of me. It must be love.

"May I talk to Edward alone?" Charlie asked. I shook my head back and forth and raised my chin in defiance. I wasn't being kept out of this conversation and I wanted them both to know it.

My father finally took my hand and pulled me to the door. "Bells, this doesn't concern you," he said to kick my anger up.

"No, this does concern me. Edward is Masen's father and what he does effects us all."

"That's another thing," my dad said and turned away from my face. "Emmett went to a judge and got full custody of Masen, it is only temporary, but you must return him by Monday morning."

His words shocked all the fight right out of me. I was too numb to respond and felt my knees growing weak. I looked at Edward and saw a flash of anger before he gained his composure. All the wonderful things Emmett had done over the years fell away with one action. He was taking my boy away from me, and there was no way in hell I would allow it to happen.

Edward had his battle to fight and I had mine. I left the room to let them strategize as I tried to come up with my own plan. I knew Emmett wouldn't listen to reasoning and Rose felt like Masen's mother so I couldn't go to her either. I decided to go to the one Cullen I felt would listen, Esme. Surely as a mother she would understand why we did what we did, and possibly understand why I felt the need to undo it all.

I planned to show up for Sunday brunch at the Cullens, but this time I would show up early and see if she would help me before Emmett arrived. It was an awful spot to place Esme in, but I needed someone who would be as torn as I was and could fully see both sides.

I had to hope I didn't choose the wrong person.


	23. Chapter 23

Edward and Charlie spent most of the night in his office talking over a plan and speaking to various people over the phone. The next day my parents got up early and took Masen fishing. I felt they were giving Edward and I a gift, one last day together before our lives ripped us apart.

I stood on the porch step and waved goodbye to them before returning to the house to see Edward leaning against the kitchen entrance. His new jeans were a bit too big and his new shirt was a bit too small, but he looked so handsome I didn't care.

I walked over to wrap my arms around him and inhaled deeply. I wanted to remember how he smelled in case I never saw him again. "I'm scared," I finally admitted.

"Of what?" he asked in just a whisper.

"Of Tanya and Emmett," I said, and he pulled back to look at me.

"Bella, don't worry about Emmett, he's my brother and he'll eventually understand."

He had no idea how weary Emmett was of him. He had tried for so many years to understand Edward and his pain kept him blind. I finally said, "Edward, you have a lot to heal with your family. It wasn't your fault, but there are years of pain that is engrained in their minds."

He sighed and moved to sit in a chair. I remained in the doorway and watched his face grow more and more upset. He finally said, "I'm going to disappoint them again. They are going to be mad I left Germany so early."

"Why would they be mad?" I asked.

"I don't want to be some hugely successful guy, spouting my opinions as if I have more validity because of my I.Q. I want to be a painter and nothing more."

He looked at me as if I would chastise him for setting his sights so low. I smiled instead and said, "It is your life Edward. You can be whatever you like."

"And I want to be a husband and father," he added.

"Those are extremely lofty goals," I said with a smile and he smiled back at me.

"Not really, I'm already a father," he teased.

I didn't have the heart to tell him in the eyes of the courts he wasn't a father. It would take a long court battle to take Masen away from Emmett, even though we could prove Edward was the biological father. Whatever it was Edward had gotten himself messed up in would make any judge declare Emmett the legal guardian of Masen. It was their same battle all over again. Emmett was the golden boy while Edward was the screw up.

"Can you tell me a bit about Tanya?" I asked, not fully sure I wanted to hear it.

He let his head fall into his palm and said, "It was all pretend. I thought she knew it."

"I'm sure she did, but you can be very charming," I said.

He gave me an annoyed shake of his head. "I was never charming. I fucked her and only because of my heart hurting over you." My jaw tightened and he noticed my reaction. "I'm sorry to be so crude, but it's the truth."

"Did you always use a condom?" I asked, terrified she would drag some kid out of the dark to really mess things up.

"Only when I screwed her pussy," he said and my spine stiffened. It was typical Edward, blunt to a fault.

"Okay, take a moment before you answer," I insisted. "Or I'm running a butter knife through you. God Edward, filter a bit for my sake."

"Sorry," he said and dropped his head. "I just feel nothing for her."

"So, are you going to have to….you know, do it, again with her?"

"I won't do that," he said, and I could tell it was something he had talked to Charlie about.

He shook his head adamantly and refused to look at me. I walked over to where he sat and straddled his lap. I raised his chin with my finger and smiled softly at him. "We're all alone," I pointed out.

He smiled and relaxed as his hands pulled me tighter to his body. His mouth moved to my throat and he kissed his way to my ear. "Do you feel this?" he asked, pressing his erection against me.

My head fell back and he kissed his way down to my chest. I sighed and he thrust upwards to the sound. He stood and placed me on the counter as he pulled my jeans from my legs along with my panties. His jeans came down without unbuttoning them and he easily stepped from them and pulled me against his body.

I wasn't sure what it was about Edward that made me so uninhibited. I wouldn't dream of having sex with another man in my parents' kitchen, but with Edward it seemed like the most natural thing to do. I tightened my legs around him, keeping him upright as he leaned back. My arms rested on the countertop and Edward moved my body to the rhythm he needed.

I kept my eyes open and watched the concentration on his beautiful face. His eyes were closed and his tongue would dart out and lick his lips as he panted. It was growing more difficult to breath and when my entire body clinched I screamed out my love for him.

Edward pumped furiously as he came and I heard the tears in his voice as he begged me to love him forever. We collapsed together as our bodies calmed. I kept my arms tightly around his neck and kissed every inch of free skin.

When I felt his tears escape from his eyes I kissed them into my own mouth. "Shhh," I said to soothe him. "Nothing can separate us," I added, praying it was true.

"It isn't going to be simple," he said, and it terrified me. I could tell he was struggling with what he had planned to do and I was so afraid it would be something to ruin us.

I held his face in my hands and forced him to look at me. "Edward, if it will destroy us we can run. I would take Masen and run away with you, understand?"

"We can't live looking over our shoulders," he said sadly. "I have to finish this and we have to fix things with Emmett."

"I'm not sure we can," I admitted. "He loves Masen as his own and I hate to hurt him after everything he's done for me."

I felt Edward tense, although his face never altered. I looked at him strangely and wondered if there was more jealousy on Edward's part then I had ever realized. He had lived his life in his brother's shadow all because they didn't understand how his brain worked.

"I'm going to see if your mom can help us," I said, letting him know my plan.

"Is there any part of you that wants Emmett?" he asked as his eyes looked away from me.

"No, not one cell," I told him truthfully.

"I'm going to pretend I chose Tanya over you. When I tell her it is time to turn in all the evidence she'll have to admit she's changed things."

I knew it was huge that he would tell me the plan. He was showing me his confidence in me and I couldn't whine and complain. I nodded and then spoke my fears. "She's a trained agent, Edward. I'm afraid she'll hurt you."

He gave me a disgruntled huff and then said egotistically, "It was all my plans that worked. She didn't come up with anything."

"She came up with separating us, don't discount her," I warned.

"She doesn't shave her armpits," he said bluntly, and then shuddered at the thought.

It was more information than I needed so I kissed him to shut him up. We ended up in the bedroom and made love slowly this time, enjoying every moment to the fullest. When it got close to noon we showered and got ready for Masen and my folks to return. I knew they would come home before his nap time.

When the truck pulled up it was Edward who rushed to the door. He ran out to see Masen chatting excitedly about his real fish. Charlie opened to cooler to show a string of trout. Masen cheered loudly and jumped up and down.

"He's a natural," my dad said with pride.

"He also smells like bait," I said and wrinkled my nose as I carried him into the house. I put him in the bathtub and Edward came inside the room to talk with us.

"Did you have fun?" he asked Masen.

"Yeah, grandpa let me drive the boat," he said enthusiastically.

"Maybe we should get a boat," Edward suggested and I laughed but he didn't. He was totally committed and I needed to stop thinking this situation was just temporary.

"We need a house first," I reminded him, since his was burned to the ground.

Edward thought for a moment and then said, "We can rebuild, but we would have to stay at my studio until it was finished."

"Underground?" I gasped.

"Only for a few months," he said to keep me from worrying. But it was the situation with Emmett I was thinking about. He wouldn't let Masen live underground and I was afraid he would use it against me in court.

"We can rent an apartment," I suggested. "I have some money saved and…."

"Bella," Edward laughed. "I have money."

"Then why did you want us to live at the studio?"

"Because I plan to be painting a lot and I want you with me all the time."

I smiled, noting how differently he was now. I used to crash in on him while he was painting, now he wanted me there. Masen grew excited and said, "Can I paint too?"

I began to explain Edward painted for a living and did not need anyone messing up his studio, but he interrupted me and said, "Sure, I'll get you're your own easel and canvas."

"Edward, he would be in the way," I pointed out.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said emphatically. "I used to think that about you, and now I can't imagine painting without you in the room."

It was supposed to be a compliment but I was a bit offended he used to think I was in his way. I chuckled and got a wash rag to clean Masen's face with soap. Edward watched everything I did as if he would be tested on it later.

I put Masen down for a nap and Edward read him a book before kissing him and leaving the room. He pulled me into the other bedroom and said, "Bella, I wasn't thinking about Masen, of course the studio wouldn't be a good place for him. He needs a place to run around and get some sun when it happens to be shining."

I was glad Edward came to the decision and not me. It showed his growth and I was so proud of him. I gave him a deep kiss and heard a loud cry from Masen. We both turned and ran from the room and to his bedside.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked him.

"I want my daddy," he cried.

I had never seen Masen act like this and I was concerned he was afraid of the room or something. "Masen, you're okay. This is grandma and grandpa's house, remember?"

"I want my daddy," he repeated as more tears fell.

I pulled him into my arms and said, "Masen, daddy is in Seattle. We are in Forks."

I glanced up at Edward and saw the look of torment plastered all over his face. It was one thing for Masen to call Emmett his father, but it hurt him more to hear me say it. I couldn't think about his feelings and the moment and I asked, "Masen, why do you want daddy?"

"I miss him," he said through his tears.

Edward turned and walked from the room. I rocked Masen as I tried to calm him down. Edward returned with the phone extension in his hand and held it out to me. "Call Emmett and let Masen talk to him," he said with a defeated tone.

I was torn between comforting my son and comforting Edward. I finally reached out for the phone and dialed a number. I waited for Emmett to answer and Edward left the room so he wouldn't have to hear us talk as a family. I felt like I had betrayed him all over again.


	24. Chapter 24

24

Masen felt much better after talking to Emmett. I was nervous when it was my turn to talk and sat in a chair in the corner of the room as Masen drifted off to sleep. I knew he was angry and we were going to have words, but I was determined to remain civil.

"I'm coming to Seattle tomorrow," I told him.

"You better have my son here before Monday morning or I'll have you arrested," he said bitterly.

"I'm not your enemy, Emmett. I'm Masen's mother and I would never do anything to hurt him."

"I don't want to talk over a stupid phone," he said as he took a deep breath.

I knew it wasn't the time to say what I wanted to say, but I couldn't stop myself from adding, "Edward is your brother Emmett, you have to deal with him sooner or later."

"I've dealt with him a lot longer than you have. He hasn't changed; he's a thief and nothing more. I want him away from my son."

I couldn't blurt out the facts, especially not over an unsecure phone line, so I said instead, "Do you think it is possible things are not as they seem? Do you think I may know something you don't and this was never a ruse to steal Masen?"

Emmett was quiet for a few moments and then spoke with a shaky voice. "Bella please, don't take him away from me. I love him and I can't stand the thought of losing him."

My eyes filled with tears. Emmett had lived up to his part of the agreement and I was never fully on board. I always held out hope Edward would return, even as Emmett grew closer and closer to Masen. I found my voice and said, "Emmett, Masen will always love you. I'm not trying to change that, but the truth is always better than a lie. We can't keep lying to him."

"Call me when you get here," he said, and the phone went dead.

I stood up and left the room. I went downstairs to hang up the phone and then looked outside to see my mother and father cleaning the fish. I joined them and remembered all the times as a young girl I had done this with my dad. I looked at Charlie and wondered how I would feel if I found out he wasn't my biological father. I wouldn't love him any less, but I would wonder exactly who I was.

I helped put all the fishing gear away as my mother let the fish marinate in her own recipe. We would have a fish fry tonight and I was salivating at the thought. I went back inside the house and washed up before looking for Edward. I couldn't find him anywhere in the house and knew there was only one place left to look.

I opened Masen's door softly and peeked in to find Edward sitting against the wall staring at Masen's sleeping face. I shut the door behind me and walked over to sit next to Edward. He wrapped his arm around me and we clung to each other. Everything was so tentative at the moment and it filled my soul with fear.

"Emmett loves him," I said as tears fell from my eyes.

"I know," Edward added softly. "Over the years Emmett used to tell me it didn't matter what the other kids said to me. He was my brother and he loved me. I was so awful to him, because I didn't want him to love me. I didn't deserve his love. When I got older I realized he didn't love me, he pitied me, he was embarrassed by me, and he only cared for the Cullen name."

"You can't love something incapable of loving you back," I said, not meaning to hurt him. "He doesn't know this side of you, the side capable of love. He needs to see it for himself."

"I need you to promise me something," he said and his voice broke.

I looked up at his face and said, "Anything."

He smiled and traced my tears with his finger, "If something goes wrong, let Emmett continue being Masen's father."

My heart dropped into my stomach and I held tightly to Edward. "What could go wrong?"

"I don't anticipate anything going wrong, I just want you to know I'm good with Emmett if it does."

I realized he was walking a fine line between Tanya and the Volturi's. If either one betrayed him it was over. He only wanted to be a simple painter, but he ended up in a war of two worlds, both equally as dangerous.

"Please be careful," I begged.

"I will," he promised and kissed my forehead.

We sat there on the floor as our son slept soundly. The peaceful existence was coming quickly to an end and we would all separate by morning light. I wondered if we would ever be together again, or had our moments finally come to a conclusion.

We ate dinner and then spent the evening together playing with Masen. We put him to bed together and both read him a story. We waited for him to fall asleep before exiting the room and walking together into my room. I didn't worry about my father knocking on the door; he knew the gravity of our situation and allowed us the space.

We removed all of our clothing and climbed into bed naked. I rolled onto him and stared with wonder at his face. He never instigated anything, but remained happy just to look at me and touch my features. I slept on his chest, tucked between his legs and feeling safer than I had ever felt in my life.

Before the sun could rise Edward tapped my shoulder to awaken me. "I have to go now," he whispered.

My arms automatically tightened and I turned my head to kiss his chest fiercely. He ran his hands into my hair and raised my face to his, kissing me passionately and then getting out of the bed. I watched him dress without saying a word.

He didn't come back to the bed, but stopped at the door and said, "Never doubt I love you."

"Make it back to me," I pleaded. He nodded and walked out the door.

I cried in the sheets as I heard him and my father drive away. When the sun began to shine through the curtains I got up and dressed. I left a note for Masen, telling him how much Edward and I loved him and that we would be back soon. I asked him to be a big boy for Grandma and enjoy his vacation. I felt so deceitful as I drove away from the house.

I made it to Seattle before ten and drove straight to the Cullens. I was relieved to see Emmett's car was not in the driveway. I knocked on the door and when Carlisle answered I said through my tears, "May I see Esme?"

He invited me inside and took me to the sunroom where Esme was setting up for brunch. She rushed over to kiss me and tell me how relieved she was to know I was still alive. I nodded but didn't respond, not knowing if she would share the relief as I tore her family apart.

"Esme, I need your help. I'm so sorry to hurt your family, but I don't know what to do," I cried.

She walked me to a settee and held my hands in hers. "What's wrong dear?"

"When I got pregnant I didn't know what to do. Emmett was so kind to me, but I should have been truthful with everyone. Masen is Edward's son, not Emmett's."

She took a deep breath and then nodded as if she had forced herself not to realize it sooner. I looked up at Carlisle and he encouraged me to keep going so I added, "Emmett refuses to give Masen up. He doesn't trust Edward and he truly loves Masen."

"Of course he does," Esme said softly. 'He'll always love him, just as we all will."

"But I want a life with Edward," I cried. "I want Masen to know his real father."

"And he will," she said as if there was nothing in the world to concern myself with. "The more people loving a child the better, Edward will be in his life and so will Emmett."

"You make it sound so easy," I said as I wiped my face. "Emmett is fighting me for custody. He thinks Edward is an art thief, but he's really working for the government to expose the art thieves."

"Bella, all of this has taken four years. It can't be fixed in one weekend. It will take time, but if we all work together everything will work itself out."

I didn't have the faith she did. I could only focus on Emmett taking Masen from me or Edward being killed. I was terrified of making the wrong move and hurting my child. Her manner was comforting and I felt myself relax a bit, until the door threw open and Emmett came rushing into the house screaming my name.

I grabbed onto her arms and Carlisle turned to handle Emmett. He came to the sunroom and pointed an accusing finger at me. "Where is he?"

"Calm down," Esme said, but Emmett totally ignored her and screamed his question at me again. This time it was Carlisle who warned him.

"Sit down, Emmett," he declared and pushed him toward a seat. Emmett sat and glared at me with hate filled eyes. "We need to all talk in a reasonable manner."

"I raised Masen as my own, and I'm not walking out now and letting Edward ruin his life like he ruined mine. I'm done with Edward and if you had half a brain you would be done with him too," he said to me.

"You are never done with family," Carlisle said sternly. "You never discount them and give up on them. Edward has worked very hard to change and you need to offer him a chance."

"A chance?" Emmett screamed, "He's a fucking thief."

"He is not," I yelled back. "You don't know everything Emmett. He's the good guy."

Emmett laughed loudly and threw his hands in the air, "When has he ever been the good guy? I've done nothing but try to fix things for Edward, only to be screwed over and stabbed in the back time and time again."

I shook my head and said, "Can you imagine how he felt having to have you fix everything for him? He was jealous of you Emmett. He felt like dirt as you waltzed in and played the knight in shining armor over and over again. He listened to the crowds cheer your name and the trophies pile up on the bookshelf. He was your baby brother and thought you were a God. But I guess all that limelight wasn't enough, because you wanted Edward's undying gratitude too. He's grateful Emmett, so shut the hell up."

Alice came walking into the room with wide eyes as she looked at everyone's angry faces. I glanced at her and said, "Yeah, I'm alive, so what?"

She raised her hands in retreat and began to back out of the room. Carlisle called for her to stay and I felt like I would be ganged up on now.

Emmett looked at her and said, "Tell them Allie, tell them how much we tried to help Edward."

"This is about Edward?" she asked.

"No," Emmett said, "This is about Masen."

I laughed disingenuously and said, "No it's not. This is about Edward and your resentment toward him. I chose Edward and you couldn't stand the thought of losing to him. So you took the most important thing you could away from him, you took his son. I actually thought you were the most generous man I had ever met, but you're not. You're vindictive and unforgiving. Edward did all the hard work, and all he wants is one last chance. He did what you begged him to do, but it's too late, isn't it?"

Alice looked at all of our faces with absolute shock and mumbled, "Masen is Edward's son?"


	25. Chapter 25

25

My entire body was shaking with emotion. I felt awful for doing this to such a kind family, and as I looked around the room at all of the awards for Alice and Emmett and I was angry for not seeing it before.

Edward never appeared to pay attention, but in actuality he was acutely aware of all of their accomplishments as he seemed to fail over and over again. He would play his guitar loudly in front of them, spend hours in the music room adding gorgeous melodies throughout the house and nobody ever took notice. I realized now why he didn't share his art with them. It was the one thing he loved and he didn't want them to reject it.

I looked at Esme and said, "Edward was always right here, right in front of our faces and we only saw what some mistaken doctor told us to see." I looked at Emmett and said, "Please don't make Masen think of Edward the way you do."

Emmett looked completely devastated and walked over to sit in a chair. Alice sat down too and asked, "Does Edward know?"

"Yes," I said, "And he's been very respectful not to tell Masen."

"Where is he?" Emmett asked.

"He's finishing up a job for the government. He's exposing art thieves," I said softly.

Alice looked at Emmett and asked, "So Edward isn't really stealing his art?"

I was angry that Emmett has shared his knowledge with Alice but never with me. I cut into their conversation and said, "Edward never stole the art. He painted replicas so it could be taken out of the country before anyone knew. He is very talented and makes a lot of money off if his original work."

"Really," Alice gasped, "Then why did he always dress so… funky?"

"Because he doesn't care about stuff like that, it isn't important to him," I said in his defense.

"Wow," she murmured, as if the idea of not being fashionable was a new concept.

"Edward is doing something very dangerous and I have to hope he is smart enough to figure it all out," I said, and caught Emmett's attention.

"Where is he right now?" Emmett asked in a panic.

"I don't know," I admitted.

He obviously didn't believe me and stood as he pointed out, "Edward is not a physical kind of guy, and he may need some help."

I smiled at the show of concern for his brother and then said, "I honestly don't know, Emmett. This is not a physical fight; it's very covert and subtle. My father is helping him, so try not to worry."

I wasn't sure if Emmett could stay unconcerned, but I was crazy with worry. I was acting confident but inside I was on pins and needles. Esme finally brought us back to the subject at hand. "Masen is part of this family and he always will be. We need to continue showing him our love and support."

"He calls Emmett daddy," Alice said.

I looked at Emmett and saw him wince as he tried to remain calm. He nodded and said, "He thinks of Lucy as a sister, too."

"I know, and I don't want him separated from anyone, but he needs to understand Edward is his real father and Emmett will always love him," I said, pleading with my eyes at Emmett.

He glanced at his father and mother and then said in regret, "How do we make a small child understand this? We're going to mess him up."

I began to cry at just the possibility of harming Masen's development. I let my face fall into my hands and Emmett came over to comfort me. He hugged me gently and said, "We'll figure it out Bella."

It seemed like that was what Emmett did in life; figure out how to make the best of horrible situations. I knew Rose was lucky to have him and Masen was lucky to have him in his life too. We finally were joined by Jasper and Rosalie and sat down to eat Sunday Brunch. I worried the entire time and called my mother often to see if Edward had called. I left in time to make it back to Forks before sundown. Emmett was going to cancel the court order for me to turn over Masen and I felt something had finally gone right.

I sped toward Forks and imagined Edward calling to say he would be there soon and everything was all taken care of. It was foolish to be so hopeful, but things had gone better than I could imagine with the Cullens, so I felt secure in my wishing.

I was between Seattle and Port Angeles when a large black vehicle passed me. It suddenly slammed on the brakes and I had to swerve to keep from rear-ending it with my rental car. I slid off the road and into a ditch. I hit my head on the side window and everything was fuzzy for a moment of two.

My car door opened and a young man looked at me and said, "Ciao Mrs. Cullen."

I began to flail my arms and tried to kick at him, but he pulled me easily from the car and picked me up off the ground. I was tossed into the large vehicle where three other people waited. My heart was racing and I tried to remain calm so I could think of a way out of the situation. We spun around and headed back toward Seattle.

I finally found the nerve to say, "I want to speak to Tanya."

They all laughed and a small blonde woman turned to look at me. "She's a little busy with her artist lover. I can show you the videos if you don't believe me."

I looked away so she couldn't see the repulsive look in my face. I didn't believe her, but if Edward was pretending to be Tanya's lover, I didn't want to hear about it. I sat silently as I tried to take note of where we were headed. We never went into the city, but drove around the outskirts and headed to Mount Hood.

We drove deeply into the forest and pulled up at a large compound surrounded by armed guards. I didn't think a place like this existed in America, let alone right under my nose. The large man sitting next to me grabbed my arm and pulled me out on his side. I looked around but he pushed me forward and through the door.

The place was decorated like a villa in France. The furniture was low to the ground and covered in dark colors. I was pushed onto a sofa and I scooted to the end and held on tightly to the arm. Three elderly men walked into the room and I recognized one as Aro.

"You'll join your father shortly," Aro said, and I felt like vomiting. Something had gone wrong and I was afraid for my father. I looked around the room for anyway that looked like means to an escape. Aro got my attention again by saying, "Mrs. Cullen, you should have kept your nose out of our business. You should have stayed with the right brother."

"Where's Edward," I asked as I began to cry.

Aro walked right up to me and held my chin with his hand. He spoke in a sickening sweet tone and said, "No need for tears, your Edward is right here."

He nodded toward the door and Edward walked into the room. He dropped into a chair and left his leg hanging over the arm. His expression was one of amusement and he looked at me and laughed. "Did you really think I would want you, when I could have women like Tanya?"

I stared at him, trying to find some sort of message in his gaze. I couldn't see anything and when I pleaded, "Please don't hurt my father," he laughed and mocked me by saying it over again.

"Stop it," I yelled, and Edward's taunting stopped.

He got out of the chair and walked up to where I sat. He stared down at me and said, "You never saw it coming did you?"

"What?" I asked him through tears.

"You provided the perfect escape for us. You let us walk into the exhibit and walk out with all the real artwork. Of course you'll be blamed for the theft, after they find your suicide note," he laughed.

"What about Masen?" I asked as I searched his eyes for any sign.

He leaned even closer and said as he over emphasized his words, "I don't give a damn about your little bastard."

I let my head fall. If Edward was acting it was hurting too much to watch him. I closed my eyes and tried desperately to figure something out. There had to be some sort of message in his words but I couldn't find it anywhere.

The door opened again and I looked up, hoping to see my father, but Tanya walked into the room. She looked at me and laughed before pulling Edward to her lips and kissing him aggressively. She turned and said, "I told you to stay away, idiot."

I glared at her and refused to look at Edward. I thought of Masen and hoped Emmett and Rose would make sure he was happy and healthy. I trusted them to raise him and realized I had no idea what was real and what wasn't. I didn't deserve my son; I had made every mistake possible.

Once I settled in my mind Masen would be okay I lost most of the fear I was feeling. I looked at Aro and said, "I want to go home. I can't stand to be in his presence any longer."

Aro smiled at me and said, "I'm sorry dear, but you know too much to simply walk out the door."

"I don't know anything," I argued. "I have no idea who Edward really is except he's a liar. I'll go home to Forks and never mention anything to anybody."

Aro looked at the other two men and then over at Edward. My eyes followed and saw Edward holding Tanya tightly to his body. It sickened me and I looked away. Aro held out his hand for mine. I took it nervously and let him pull me to my feet. He walked with me to a door and opened it to reveal a large cell with only a toilet and a bed. He held out his arm and I dutifully walked into the room. The door shut and I spun around to find myself totally alone. I walked over to the bed and collapsed onto it and dissolved into tears.

It was a full hour before the door opened again. Edward walked in alone and I sat up and looked at him anxiously. I wanted him to tell me it was all part of the plan and I had to keep playing the part, but instead he smirked at me and said, "You truly are the most ignorant woman I know."

I pulled the blanket around my body and said, "Go away, you sicken me."

He laughed loudly and said, "I thought you loved me, Bella, you fickle thing."

"Nobody loves you," I yelled loudly, "not even your family. You're a vile human being and I pray Masen doesn't inherit a single part of you. My eyes are finally open and I see Emmett was always a better choice than you."

I was purposefully trying to hurt him. I wanted some sort of reaction that would tell me the Edward I knew was still in there somewhere. I felt totally hopeless if everything we had done was just an act for him. I stared at his face and saw something change. He tightened his jaw as if angry, but his eyes didn't show anger, they showed shock.

He lunged at me, grabbing my neck and holding me tightly to his face as he seethed, "What was the last thing I said to you?"

I used my hands to push him away so he would stop strangling me. I held my neck tenderly as I coughed and tried to take a deep breath. I couldn't think clearly and when he stormed from the room I screamed in frustration.

I lay back onto the bed and tried to remember back to just that morning. It seemed like another lifetime ago. I remembered Edward saying Emmett should raise his son if something went wrong. I searched more memories and a subtle smile grew on my face when I finally remembered his last words, "Never doubt my love for you."


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm loading five chapters because I just can't stand this onsie twosie thing. I'm weak, what can I say?**

26

Something had gone wrong with the plan Edward and my father had come up with. I needed to remain calm and try to watch Edward's lead on how to respond to those around me. I worried for my father's safety and prayed Edward would keep him safe.

I finally got settled on the cot and went to sleep. I dreamed of Masen and he was running with Lucy, being raised by Emmett and Rose. I called for him, but he wouldn't come to me. He shook his head and called for his father. I was alone and not even my child wanted me. I sat up in a sweat as I struggled to understand where I was. I stood and walked over to the door. I placed my ear against it and couldn't hear anything. I finally went back to the bed and lay down.

I was so hungry when Tanya finally entered the room with a tray of food. She smiled at me and pulled a chair in with her to sit while I ate. I refused to engage her so she finally had to speak first.

"He never loved you," she said sarcastically.

"Whatever," I said with a full mouth.

"Did you think he would give up such an interesting life to raise babies with you?"

I sat back and pushed the tray out of my way before saying, "You won, and he's yours. Now can I go home?"

She smiled widely now and looked up at the small dark bubble in the corner which was obviously a camera. I kept calm and refused to let her rattle me. "I could speak to Aro about letting you go, of course you would need to do something for us first," she said with a disingenuous smile.

"And what would that be?" I asked, not sure I would believe anything she said.

"You need to get us a painting from your gallery," she said firmly.

I had no idea what painting she was talking about. All of our stuff was from local talent and the only pieces of real value were the ones Aro gave us on loan. I shook my head and said, "There's nothing in our gallery."

"Oh honey, you are so naïve," she laughed. "Of course it isn't in your gallery; it is in the safe at Mr. Banner's house."

I laughed at her inference. "You expect me to break into his home and then break into his safe to steal a painting, you're delusional."

She walked over to the door and opened it. "Okay then, you are free to go," she announced.

I had no idea what she was trying to pull. Surely she wasn't going to let me simply walk out of this room and be done with it all. I stood and took a step toward the doorway. She only smiled and held out her hand to hurry me along. I took another hesitant step and she said, "Now, you realize your father will be killed?"

I stopped short and stared at her with complete anger. She thought it was funny and laughed hardily. I moved back to the bed and sat again. Tanya returned to her chair and said, "Emmett has gotten an email from you, telling him to keep Masen. I thought I would take your mind off of it while you're here. I'm sure he's rushed right to your mother's home and taken him already."

I tried not to respond and only stared at her, refusing to give her the panic she so wanted to see. "So what painting do you want me to steal?" I asked her.

She smiled with delight and clapped her hands together. "It is called, _The Concert," _she informed me. "Painted by Vermeer and stolen in 1990. Your Mr. Banner has it in his safe."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because Edward has seen it, silly girl. Do you think he went with you to Mr. Banner's home for dinner just to accompany you?" she laughed evilly.

I tried to keep a steady gaze, since Edward had never gone to Mr. Banner's with me. It had to mean something that he told them he had. I finally nodded and said, "Okay, I'll do it. But you have to give me my father before I give you the painting."

"Sure," she said, without any hint of truth or attempts to hide her deceit. "And I will accompany you, just in case." She pulled a radio from her pocket and called for Edward. He came into the room and Tanya gave him a deep kiss. I looked away and had to listen to their groaning and smacking lips.

Edward finally came over to the cot and said, "I need to educate you on what to look for."

I glared at him hatefully and said, "I'm the art critic, remember?"

He laughed and it almost made me smile. Tanya didn't find it amusing and kicked his leg to make him stop laughing.

"It is an oil on canvass," he began and I finally looked into his eyes. The grey bore into mine and I wanted to see his love for me, but all I could see was the cold, flat color staring back at me. "Pay attention to the checkered floor. Vermeer was known for his ability to portray depth and patterns. If it doesn't look real leave it and keep searching."

"Search where?" I asked.

"I'm sure he has another safe, in his bedroom possibly," Edward said and I nodded.

"What is the combination?" I asked him.

Edward laughed again and handed me a paper with several possibilities. I looked up in confusion, wondering how he knew this. "I see patterns most people don't," he said proudly. "Mr. Banner was very predictable."

"Okay, so I get the painting and then what?" I asked him.

"You give it to Tanya and then go home," he smiled.

"My home was burned down, remember?" I said to him. "I want my father with me or I'm not doing this."

"He will be there as you hand over the painting. We have no need of a small town cop, he is so far beneath our possibilities it isn't even funny."

"Then why did you insist we go to him?" I asked.

"Because we needed some authenticity. Nobody would question the credentials of a cop, even if he has an Italian accent."

I knew they were going to use my father's identity to get out of the country with the painting. I wanted Edward to assure me he wasn't going with them, but I didn't see how he would be able to stay behind.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked.

"Tonight there will be another showing. Mr. Banner will be there, since he hasn't had time to replace you after your untimely death. While he is gone you will break into his home and get the painting."

I nodded, it sounded simple enough. Edward walked toward the door and then turned to look at me. "Make sure the painting is in full chroma. If the colors are muted it is a fake."

I looked at him in confusion; Vermeer always used muted and blended colors. I wasn't really a critic but I knew that much. I sat on my cot for the remainder of the day as I contemplated what I would be doing. I wondered if I was caught if they would kill my father, or if I could simply talk Mr. Banner into giving me the painting without breaking any laws.

From Edward's words I figured it had to be a fake, so I wasn't too concerned about becoming an actual art thief. I just worried about not finding the combination and having to go back empty handed. When evening came Tanya entered my room again with clothes for me to put on. They were all black with gloves and a sweater cap.

"This is a bit over the top, don't you think?" I said dryly.

"Black is stylish," Tanya laughed, and waited for me to get dressed. I followed her out of the cell and into the living room. Aro was there and he came over to offer me a kind kiss on the cheek.

"Bella, we are so happy you have decided to join us," he cooed.

I don't know how he thought I decided anything, it was decided for me. I looked down, refusing to meet his eyes and he leaned over to say, "Make your daddy proud."

I sneered and turned my head, wanting his foul breath out of my face. Tanya grabbed my hand and led me to a waiting car. It was dark outside and I looked around to see if there was any means of escape.

"The doors are locked by the driver," Tanya said, knowing what I was thinking.

"I'm not planning on running, I want my father," I said without looking at her.

"Oh yes, Deputy Dan, how could I forget?" she laughed.

I looked out the window as the city grew closer. I thought of Masen and felt my eyes fill with tears. I wondered if he was with Emmett and if steps were being taken to keep him away from me forever. The car pulled down Mr. Banner's street. I had never been inside his home, but I did know where he lived.

Tanya and I got out of the car a few houses down from the Banner's and headed behind the houses into the darkness. We stayed low and when we got to a large block fence Tanya pulled a device from her pocket and shined it at the top of the fence. A red line appeared so she pushed a couple of buttons and the line stuttered a couple of times and then shut off.

"Go," she said and we both quickly climbed the fence. She pointed the device back at the top and the red line reappeared.

We stayed close to the wall and made our way around the yard and to the house. Tanya pulled a key from her shoe and unlocked the door. She instantly ran to an alarm system and punched in a code she had on a slip of paper. When the panel lights shut off she smiled and said, "Edward is a fucking genius."

"A smart criminal, how proud of him you must be," I said sarcastically, and she only laughed.

I wondered why I had to be along if Tanya was going to be the one doing everything. I followed her into the study and she nodded to the safe on the wall. I walked up to it and had to remove my gloves to open it. I used two of Edward's combinations and it finally opened. I saw several rolled up canvasses and tried to find one about the size of the painting I was looking for. I looked at three before finding one that looked like, _The Concert_.

It looked totally authentic to my untrained eye, but Edward warned me about looking for full Chroma. I rolled it back up and put it in the safe again. "It isn't here," I said and looked around the office for another possibility.

We made our way to the upstairs bedrooms and I searched for anything that looked like a safe. I finally found something behind a large picture in the hallway. I used more combinations and when I got it open only one canvass could be seen. I pulled it out and saw the checkered floor and the images of a Master working with his students at the piano and singing. The colors were all wrong, to bright and vivid, but I rolled it back up and said, "I've got it, now where's my father?"

Tanya held out her hand for me to hand it over and I shook my head adamantly. Her eyes narrowed as she smiled hatefully. She took a step toward me when someone came into view behind her. I gasped, not because I was afraid, but because I was shocked at his presence.

She saw my reaction and turned slowly to face the man standing in her path. I knew this was not going to end well so I turned and ran down the hallway toward a bedroom. I slammed the door and locked it before opening a window and climbing onto the roof.


	27. Chapter 27

The house was huge and I was a lot higher up than I realized. There was no way I could jump down from such a far distance. I shoved the painting down my shirt and got onto my knees to crawl over to one of the fireplaces to use to steady myself. I got low onto the roof and tried to blend in with the shadows.

I could hear yelling inside the house. I knew Tanya was a trained agent, but she wasn't up to Emmett's strength. I had no idea how he knew to show up here, and it worried me about Masen if none of us made it out alive. A car pulled into the driveway and several people climbed out. I searched for my father, but it was too dark to make out any faces.

They rushed into the house and I could hear more yelling and the sound of people fighting. When everything calmed down I dragged myself to the edge of the roof and laid flat against the tiles. I could make out Aro's voice; he was demanding to know what went wrong. Tanya was hysterical and I could make out my name several times.

I tensed when I heard Edward talking, screaming at Tanya for messing everything up. Soon they all exited the house and I saw Edward dragging Emmett as he was bound and gagged. I stared in shock as they pushed him harshly, sending him crashing onto the ground.

I covered my mouth to keep from crying out and watched in horror as they pulled Emmett up onto his knees and put a gun to his head. Edward called out loudly, "Bella, you know I'll do it if you don't come out."

I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do. I had the fake painting, but would it be enough to save Emmett? I waited a bit longer and Edward yelled out again, "Give me the fucking painting, Bella. I won't ask you again."

I moved to sit up on the edge of the roof and all their eyes turned to look at me. "No," Emmett screamed and Edward hit him with the handle of the gun, sending him slumping forward onto the lawn.

"Stop it," I screamed. "I've got your painting. Stop hurting him."

Tanya walked over to Edward and said, "She always did love Emmett more."

At this moment I wasn't sure who I loved. If Edward was able to do all this under pretence I wasn't sure I wanted a relationship with him. I pulled the painting from my shirt and said, "Leave Emmett and my father and I'll give you the canvass."

"You'll have to come down here love," Edward said in a taunting voice.

"No," I demanded. "I'm staying here."

Edward laughed loudly and then pointed the gun at me. "You're coming down one way or another. Be a dear and climb down so we don't stain the man's roof."

Emmett began to moan and I was terrified they would hurt him again. "Okay," I agreed and began crawling back to the window. As soon as I got into the room the big guy grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out onto the front lawn.

I held the canvass out to Edward and he gave me a disgusted huff. "I don't want it," he said angrily. "Give it to Tanya."

I held my hand out to her and she grabbed the roll from my grasp. She stuck it down her own shirt and then turned to Aro. "Let's go and leave them to clean up the mess."

"Where's my dad?" I asked.

The big guy opened the trunk and pulled my father out and pushed him onto the grass next to Emmett. I looked at Edward and he had a look of amusement, the same one he always had before he went to Germany.

Aro and Tanya got into the car with the big guy and they all drove away. Edward remained with two other men. He motioned for me to join my father and Emmett. I rushed over and hugged them both tightly in my arms.

Edward turned to the other guys and said, "You can go, I'll handle this."

The both smirked and said, "We'll watch."

Edward walked up to my father and calmly shot him right in the head. He bolted back and crumpled in an odd configuration as I screamed my lungs out. Nothing was making sense and every motion seemed to slow to a crawl. I turned to look at Edward's smirking face and then at Emmett's wide eyes and terrified expression. I looked at the other two men as they laughed and patted each other on the back.

Again Edward told them they could go and this time they turned their backs. Edward looked at Emmett and mouthed something before placing the gun to his head and shooting again. I scrambled backward and tried to get away but Edward easily grabbed hold of me.

He looked at the other guys and then ran his tongue up the side of my face. "I think I'll take my time with this one."

They laughed and headed off into the darkness. I was shaking so badly I couldn't stand on my own. Edward had to circle his arm around me to keep me upright. He whispered into my ear and said, "Don't say a word, just fall to the ground and lay there."

It was something easy for me, since I lacked the strength to stand. I curled into a tight ball as Edward removed his shirt and then looked around for any bystanders. He finally said, "Charlie, are you okay?"

My father sat up and I tried to crawl over to him but I couldn't get the coordination I needed. "The powder burn hurt like hell," my dad said, and then made his way over to me.

I grabbed him with all my strength and cried loudly into his chest. Nobody seemed too concerned about the breakdown I was having right in front of them. Edward walked over to check on Emmett and said, "I think the pressure really knocked him out."

"What…..what….." It was all I could say and my father tightened his hold on me.

"Get her out of here," Edward said and my father stood and tried to help me stand. I looked over at Emmett who was still lying on the grass and felt my father lift me off my feet to make me move. We headed to the house and just as we got into the shadows the two men came back into the yard. Edward was slapping Emmett's face, trying to revive him. "What's going on?" one of the men asked.

Edward looked up in a panic and said, "I'm just making sure I got a clean shot, Felix."

The man looked at Emmett and then looked around the yard for me and my father. He pulled a gun from his pants and pointed it at Emmett. "I'll get it for you," Felix said.

"No," Edward screamed and jumped in front of Emmett just as the gun went off.

I screamed as I watched Edward stumble and then collapse onto the ground. My father made a run toward the other man as Felix buckled at the knees and fell. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I ran from the house and up to Edward's side as my father tackled the man.

A gun was lying next to where Felix fell so I crawled over to pick it up. I held it in my hands and cocked it but the men were too close together to get off a clean shot. I felt someone touch my leg and looked down to see Edward trying to stand. His shirt was covered in blood and he pulled on my jeans to get onto his knees.

I pulled him all the way up, holding him as he got his footing. He finally reached for the gun and took it in his hand as he stumbled toward the two men. I wanted him to save my father, but I was terrified I would lose them both. I covered my ears and looked away as the gun went off.

The yard grew silent as Edward fell back to the grass. Emmett sat up slowly as blood trickled down the side of his head. I finally saw a knife sticking out of Felix's back and realized my father must have thrown it. I rushed to Edward and pressed the seeping wound on his chest.

"Someone help us," I screamed. My father rushed over and pulled off his own shirt and wadded it into a ball to use as pressure against the wound. Emmett pulled out his phone and called the police as I cried over Edward's body.

His eyes opened half way and he smiled at me as he tried to speak. "Don't," I begged him, wanting him to use all of his strength to save himself.

"Did you remember?" he asked.

"What?" I asked him.

"My last words," he said, and then coughed up some blood.

"Don't you die on me Edward," I yelled at him. "Don't you dare leave me, do you understand?"

"Did you remember?" he asked again as his eyes closed.

"Yes, I remembered. I never doubted, Edward."

"Good," he whispered, and his body went limp.

I cried and begged for someone to help me. Charlie finally rushed to my side and began performing CPR chest compressions while I breathed for him. I was trying not to concentrate on the time; I only breathed and pictured him and Masen together.

Bright lights filled the yard and someone pushed me out of the way and placed an air bag over Edward's mouth. I moved back and Emmett came over to pull me into his arms. I held on tightly and watched as they continued to work on Edward as they led him away.

My father was talking with a group of officers and they pulled me and Emmett over to join him. I listened as he spoke, not connecting his words with anything. My whole focus was on Edward.

Emmett finally whispered into my ear and said, "Let me take you to Masen."

I nodded and let him lead me to a waiting car. I climbed into the back and Emmett spoke to the officer before getting in beside me. I put my head on his chest and said, "How did you know to come here?"

"I came to the art show to confront Edward. I knew he would be there and I wanted to tell him what a son-of-a-bitch I thought he was. I followed him to the house and saw a light shinning inside. I thought I would check it out."

"Do you think he'll be okay?" I asked, begging with my voice for Emmett to lie to me.

"My dad's at the hospital, he'll call when they have news."

The squad car pulled up in front of the Cullens house and I moved to get out of the car. Emmett stopped me and nodded at my blood soaked shirt. "Let's go through the back and clean up first."

I nodded and followed him to the back of the house. We snuck upstairs and I showered before going to look for Masen. He was sitting on the floor with Lucy as Rose played a game with them. I felt my eyes fill with tears and I tried to smile when he looked up at me.

"Hi mommy," he said with a grin.

I waved without speaking and when Emmett came into the room Masen said, "Daddy, is mommy sad?"

"No," he said, and held out his hand for mine, "She's happy to see you."

I held out my arms and Masen ran happily into them. I hugged him and kissed him as I kept pulling back to look at his angelic face.

"Daddy picked me up from Grandma's in Forks. Grandma said daddy was a shit," he announced, and then laughed loudly.

I laughed and tried to wipe my eyes before saying, "No, he's not a shit. He's a very brave man."

"Who, Edward?" Emmett asked.

"No," I said, and smiled up at him, "You, Emmett."


	28. Chapter 28

28

When Carlisle called to say Edward was in surgery I had Alice take me to the hospital. Emmett stayed with Masen and I hoped I wouldn't return with bad news. I walked down the hallway of the hospital and saw several men in suits standing around the waiting room. I didn't care if they were good guys or bad, I just wanted Edward to be okay.

I saw Esme and rushed into her arms. "Is he okay?" I asked.

"I don't know, I haven't heard anything yet."

I was too worried to sit and I began pacing the room. It was over two hours and nobody would tell us anything. When my father walked into the room I ran to him and demanded to know what had happened. He pulled me to a chair and told me Edward was setting up Tanya. He had to have proof she was helping the Volturi so he came up with the missing Vermeer painting to prove it.

They were all caught trying to get out of the country with the painting in hand. Edward was free from them all, but it may have cost him his life.

I went back to my pacing and when the doctor arrived we all rushed over to him to hear the news. He gave us general medical information like, pulse rate, blood pressure, generic things like that. He let Carlisle tell us the rest.

"I'm afraid the bullet nicked his spinal cord. We don't know if Edward will be paralyzed or not," he said.

I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to steady myself. Alice and Esme began to cry, but I refused to give up on Edward. Doctors had counted him out before and I wouldn't do it until I knew for sure. I asked to see him and they gave me a room number. I rushed to the correct floor and found two armed guards in front of it.

"Are you here to guard him or arrest him?" I asked them both.

"We are here to guard him, on orders from the Governor," they told me.

I walked into the room and found him hooked up to all kinds of machines. I walked over to the side of his bed and a nurse smiled at me. "He'll sleep until morning," she informed me.

I nodded and took hold of his hand. It felt warm and soft so I brought it to my mouth and kissed it several times. The nurse eventually left and only the beeping of the heart machine could be heard. I pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and lay my head on his hand as I closed my eyes.

I waited all night for him to wake. Carlisle and Esme came and went. Alice stood in the doorway but couldn't force herself to come into the room. Emmett and Rose stayed with Masen. My father headed home to assure my mother he was okay.

I was all alone when Edward's hand twitched and his eyes opened. I looked down at him with a big smile as he struggled to focus on anything. "Good Morning," I said as my tears formed.

"Where am I?" he asked with a hoarse voice.

"You're in the hospital. You were shot," I informed him, without giving away anything else.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm perfect," I smiled and then leaned over to kiss him. "Are you in any pain?"

"No," he said, "But I'm thirsty."

I poured him a drink of water and helped him take small sips after raising the bed. He closed his eyes for a moment and then whispered, "Is it over now?"

"Yes," I told him honestly. "They caught the Volturi's and Tanya leaving with the painting. They were all arrested."

"Good," he whispered.

I leaned closer to the bed and spoke directly into his ear and said, "Edward, was the real painting in the safe?"

He smiled and said without opening his eyes, "You would be an awful art critic."

I didn't know if he meant yes or no and I wasn't sure I wanted to know anything else. I was so sick of thinking and talking about art. I made a mental vow never to return to the gallery no matter what happened between me and Edward.

The door opened and Carlisle and Esme walked in. "He just woke up," I told them.

They both kissed his cheek and told him they loved him. He smiled softly but didn't respond. Carlisle picked up his chart from the end of the bed and both he and Esme went over the thing with a fine tooth comb.

Esme pointed at a couple of things and Carlisle nodded with a furrowed brow. I realized I wasn't breathing and forced myself to take a deep breath. They finally put the chart down and said, "Edward, you are on very strong medications. You need to lie still and rest as much as possible."

He nodded and closed his eyes again. I saw the sideways glance they gave each other and looked away so I wouldn't blurt out any questions. I wanted to wait until I saw what Edward could do, not hear it before even the doctors knew for sure.

Edward slept for over an hour before he opened his eyes again. I was in the same spot next to the bed and he gave me a quick glance before he licked his dry lips. "I need a drink," he said, so I helped him drink some more water again.

"You can go home," he offered.

"No, I'm not leaving in case you need me," I assured him. It would take the two armed guards pulling me from the room kicking and screaming.

He mumbled something and I had to lean closer to listen. "What Edward?" I asked him.

"I'm sorry about Tanya," he murmured with his eyes closed.

"I know," I said. "I know you had to act like that in front of me so she would believe you."

He nodded and his eyes opened again, all glassy and dilated. I could tell his medications were in full swing and he most likely didn't know what he was saying. "She came to my bed," he mumbled.

I froze, not wanting to hear anything else. I wasn't sure he would tell me if he hadn't mentioned it while drugged. I knew it was wrong to press him, but I couldn't help myself and asked, "Did you have sex with her?"

"Yeah," he said and winced from some pain he was feeling. "She's so great in bed."

I felt my eyes water and asked a bit louder, "Does Bella know?"

"No," he chuckled, "Just one last time, so good."

I stared at his wounded drugged body and asked one more question. "Do you love Tanya?"

He smiled with his eyes closed and said, "No, I love Bella; I just like to fuck Tanya."

I stood and made my way to the door. I wasn't judging him, he was on strong medication and I couldn't blame him for speaking the truth. He did admit he loved me, but it was Tanya he enjoyed. The door opened and Alice walked in. I brushed past her saying I had to check on something and ran down the hallway.

I got into the elevator and let my sobs escape from my mouth. I was panting as I cried when the door opened. I made my way outside and found an empty spot of grass where I could cry and let it all out. I was so tired, exhausted, just like Emmett told me I would be if I chose Edward.

I let my mind consider the possibility of Edward never walking again, never making love to me or playing with his son. Would it be worth it for him to manage his thoughts but lose his body? I worried he would grow to resent me, feeling I had sent him to Germany and then cursed him with this life.

I sat on the lawn until I saw Alice leave. I got up and went back inside the hospital. I entered the room to find Edward resting. A nurse followed me into the room and checked his vitals and I.V.'s. "Any change in his condition?" I asked her.

"The doctor will be around this evening," she told me, without committing to anything.

I sat in my chair and took a slow breath. When I raised my head Edward was staring at me. I smiled with a tremble and his expression turned to one of worry. The nurse tucked his blanket around his legs and then left the room.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

"I'm really tired," I said, and stretched my arms over my head.

"Go home and rest," he said, but I shook my head back and forth.

"I want to be here. Do you remember your folks coming by, and Alice?" I asked.

"No," he said softly.

"I'm sure they'll be back," I offered and tried to smile again.

"Something's wrong," he said, and I shook my head again.

"No, everything's fine," I lied.

He extended his arm out to me and asked with wide eyes, "Help me up."

I stood and looked at the door. "Wait for the nurse," I told him, not sure if he could stand or not. "I don't want to get into trouble if you are supposed to stay down."

He pulled himself up with the bed tray, using only his arms. He looked down at the tubes coming from his veins and ripped them out. "Edward, stop," I yelled out and tried to push him back into the bed.

He grabbed onto the front of my shirt and yelled, "Damn it, help me up. Get me out of this damn bed."

"Nurse," I yelled loudly, but Edward wouldn't let go of me. He pulled with all of his might and was hanging precariously on the edge of the mattress.

His other arms shot out and wrapped around my neck. I naturally backed up to keep from falling and his body came with me. He was pulled right from the bed and his legs dangled lifelessly to the floor. He wasn't trying to right his feet or to push up off the floor so he could stand upright. His arms held the full weight of his body and I couldn't remain erect any more.

We both crashed to the ground, his back arching grotesquely. I called out for help as Edward continued to stare in horror into my eyes.

A nurse came running into the room and asked one of the guards to help her. She got Edward off of me and then placed him back into the bed. He was breathing shallow and gasping for air. The nurse started a new line of medication as Edward looked at the ceiling in terror.

When she moved out of the way I stood at his side and turned his face to mine. "It's okay," I told him through my tears. "It doesn't change a thing." He pushed my hands away and turned his head away from me. "Edward," I begged him.

"Get out," he said softly.

"No, I love you," I was pleading with him. "We need you Edward, Masen and I need you."

He was silent for a moment and then turned his head to look at me. He gave me the sickening smile he used to have and then said, "I don't want you or Masen."

"You're lying," I said strongly. "You're feeling sorry for yourself and trying to push me away."

He laughed and shook his head. "Oh my God, you are such an idiot. I had Tanya in my bed. I had her talented mouth on my cock."

"Stop it," I yelled, and covered my ears.

"Did you think all of this was for you?" he yelled back. "I had to keep my own ass out of jail. I wasn't going down for Aro Volturi, but I sure in hell wasn't doing it to be stuck with you and that brat you are trying to stick me with."

I shook my head and said, "You told me never to doubt your love."

"Yes, so you wouldn't screw up the trap I had set up," he said and then pointed at his face. "Look at me now. I don't love you, I don't want you, get out of my sight."

I turned and ran from the room, down the hallway, and outside to a cab. I wanted as far from Edward as I could get.


	29. Chapter 29

29

I had nowhere to go. My home was burned, my job was ruined, and the man I loved rejected me. I took the cab to Emmett's house, but I had no idea what to say. I had nothing to offer Masen. I had made such a mess of my life that Emmett was a better option to parent him.

I didn't bother taking one last look. It would be too hard to do the right thing if I did. I got back into the cab and asked him to take me past the bank. I withdrew all my savings and headed to the bus station. I got on the first bus leaving Seattle. It was on its way to Chicago. It sounded like a great place to disappear. I pulled my hoodie over my head and cried softly for the first few hours. I should have remained dead. I only managed to make things more confusing for Masen.

I used to wonder how people could walk away from their lives, or if it was even possible to go somewhere else and start over again. The memories wouldn't fade so I had to do something to help them along. I got a job in a museum gift shop. It was minimal pay again, but the busy crowds kept me from thinking about my life.

I would take a bus to the wrong side of the city and head into my basement apartment I rented from a polish woman who spoke little English. I would make a meager dinner and then drink something strong to help me sleep. It wasn't living, it was only existing.

I never spoke to anyone in the lunch room. I would take my sack lunch and eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the corner of the room. People whispered about me, but nobody tried to be my friend.

One day I got on the bus and a man in his late twenties sat across from me. He had long hair pulled into a ponytail and he smiled when I glanced at him. I quickly looked away and he chuckled. "If you ignore me it will only pique my interest," he said loudly.

I looked back at him and he held up his dirty hands. "I'm an artist," he announced. "You know how curious we can be."

I scowled at him and said, "I've had my fill of artists."

It only caused him to laugh louder and move into the seat next to me. "This sounds like a great story," he teased.

I turned my head and refused to speak any more so he continued talking. He told me he was from California and sold some of his art locally so he made Chicago his home. He had an apartment he shared with a buddy and a girl, but he wasn't in a relationship with her.

I knew everything about his life by the time the bus pulled up to my corner. I got up and he called out to me, "My name is James, what's yours?"

I raised my hand in the air to flip him off and he laughed loudly again. It put a tiny smile on my face and it felt so good to actually know something about someone else in this huge city. I found myself looking for him the next day on the bus. He got on when it stopped by the art institute and came right to my side.

"Hi," he grinned.

"Hi," I said back, feeling it wasn't something I should be doing.

"Oh my God, you actually speak," he laughed.

I smiled shyly and turned to look out the window. James leaned over to get my attention and said, "And you are?"

I wasn't sure why I gave him the name I was using but I blurted out, "Bree Smith."

"Well, hello Bree Smith. It is nice to meet you."

I only nodded and felt every instinct I had telling me to stay away from this guy. I pulled my sweater tighter to my body and turned my full attention to the window. James sat silently until we got to my stop. I stood and he moved away so I could get out of the seat.

"Have a good night, Bree," he said kindly.

I only nodded and got off the bus and walked quickly to my dingy apartment. I turned on the light which only added a bit of illumination. The place smelled like stale water and I walked to the mirror to look at myself. My hair hung lifeless around me and I was very thin. I didn't waste money on makeup and it made me wonder why James would speak to me at all.

I got into the tub and then thought about Masen. I missed him so much but I couldn't imagine him living in this dark basement. I tried to think of Edward, but it hurt too much so I ducked my head under the water and let my tears mingle with the hot water.

I got out of the tub and put on an oversized t-shirt I got from the thrift store. I climbed into my lumpy bed and tried to sleep, but my heart was hurting too badly and I ended up crying most of the night.

The next morning I couldn't find the strength to go to work so I walked upstairs and asked my landlady if I could use her phone. She sneered at me and said she didn't have a phone. I got dressed and walked to the corner convenience store to call in sick.

I came outside and saw James standing on the sidewalk smoking a cigarette. "What are you doing here?" I asked him.

He smiled and said, "I was looking for you."

"Why?" I asked feeling exposed.

He hesitated and then gave me an earnest look before saying, "I think you need a friend Bree, am I wrong?"

"You're wrong," I said and tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm and I instantly pulled away from him. He acted apologetic and took a step away from me.

"Look, Bree I know what it is like to feel it is you against the world. I can help, I honestly can."

I wanted to assure him I was fine and stomp off indignantly. But the truth was I needed a friend, someone to bring a bit of light into my dark life. I no longer trusted myself to choose the right people to bring into my life. I was lost, completely lost.

My eyes filled with tears and he motioned to the bench in front of the store. I walked over and sat down. James offered me a cigarette but I shook my head. He sat next to me and patted my back for a moment.

"I'm just adjusting to a new life," I finally admitted.

"A life of your choice?" he asked.

"Yeah, kind of," I answered. I ran on my own, but Edward had pushed me out of his life and I couldn't go on without him.

"How old are you?" he asked.

"I'm twenty five, but I feel so much older," I admitted, because life had aged me quickly.

"Well Bree, I was like you once. I was getting up every day and walking like a zombie through my life. I finally realized this is the only shot I get. Sure I screwed up, but I have the life I deserve. I decided to reach for the stars. I entered art school and I'm doing exactly what I want to do. I love my life now."

I looked at his enthusiastic face and said, "I can't have what I want. It isn't possible."

"Then find something else you want more. You may think there isn't anything out there for you, but there is, I promise."

I tried to remember a time before I met Edward and before I gave birth to Masen. I searched my memories for anything I wanted before that time. It was like my life started the day I set eyes on Edward, nothing existed before him.

"I hate my job," I said honestly.

"There you go," James said loudly. "So what is it you do?"

"I work in a museum gift shop," I said with embarrassment. "I have a degree in English and I have a job for a sixteen year old."

"See," he said with a nudge, "Today is your lucky day. I have a connection to get you a better job."

I didn't get too excited because I still didn't trust this stranger. I sighed and he pulled out a card and wrote a number on it. "Call this man and tell him James White gave you his number."

I looked at the card and nodded, without telling him I didn't have a phone. He looked at his watch and then tossed his cigarette butt. "I've got to go. Good luck Bree. I'll see you later."

I watched him jog to the bus stop and then looked down at the card again. I decided it couldn't hurt so I went back into the store and asked to use the phone again. I called and asked for Laurent. I told him James gave me his number and he instantly agreed to meet with me. I noticed his French accent and wondered if I had anything decent to wear.

He gave me an address and told me my cab would be paid for. I gave him my address hesitantly and he said I would be picked up in an hour. I rushed back down the street and tried to put together anything that would look half way decent.

I settled on a skirt and blouse. I didn't have any makeup but I brushed out my hair and used spray to make it big and sexy. I put on my only pair of heels and waited for the cab to arrive. It drove me deep into the city and pulled into an apartment complex. "Go to the penthouse," the driver told me.

I went into the building and got into the elevator. I could see my reflection in the metal and practiced my smile. It had been weeks since I smiled and it looked a bit odd. The elevator stopped and the door opened to a large space with beautiful furnishings. A red haired woman sat at a glass desk and she smiled and welcomed me into the room.

"I'm here to see Laurent," I said nervously.

She nodded and asked me to have a seat. She stood and went into the office and shut the door. Her dress was expensive and her makeup was flawless. I felt like a mess and regretted coming. The woman returned and said, "Laurent will see you now. I'm Victoria by the way."

"Hi, I'm Bree," I said and followed her into the room.

I saw a large muscular black man sitting behind a desk. He looked me up and down and I could see the disappointment on his face. I tugged on my skirt and said, "I'm sorry, but my house burned down and I don't have any clothes."

He stood and came around the desk to shake my hand. "You look just fine," he lied.

I sat in a leather chair and he returned to his desk. "Did James tell you what company I run?" he asked.

I shook my head, a bit embarrassed by the admission. "I have a degree in English; he said he had a contact."

The man chuckled and then said, "I run an event business. I basically plan parties for city dignitaries and local celebrities."

"I don't understand how I would fit in," I said reluctantly. "I've planned art showings and wine tests but nothing more."

"You are an educated woman; people enjoy talking to interesting people at parties. You would be a plant, someone who works the room and makes sure people are having a good time."

I looked at my skirt and then back at Laurent. He knew what I was thinking and said, "We would provide the wardrobe with full hair and makeup. You would work on commission. The more you mingle the more you would make. Most hostesses make over five hundred a party."

My eyes grew wide and I asked, "So, how many parties do you have each month?"

He handed me a calendar showing parties booked for almost every night. I couldn't imagine making that much money and remembered my father telling me if something sounded too good, it usually was.

"What's the catch?" I asked.

Laurent laughed and nodded his head. "It sounds like you'll make a lot of money for nothing, right? But it is not as easy as it sounds. I don't want people who can't keep the party lively. You spend a lot of time going from person to person trying to make them feel like the most important person in the room. It is exhausting."

His choice of word shocked me. I knew what it felt like to be exhausted by someone. Maybe I was right for this job after all.


	30. Chapter 30

30

Laurent had me spend the day with Victoria. She let me use her closet to find a dress for a party that evening. She took me for a manicure and pedicure, hair appointment and a full makeup session. I couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror.

She stood behind me and smiled at the sight. "You look nothing like the timid mouse that walked into the office this morning."

"I have no idea who the woman in the mirror is," I said honestly.

"Good," she laughed. "Pretend you are playing a part, be someone mysterious and have fun."

I wish it could be that simple. I didn't want to be Bella who ran out on her son and rejected by the man she loved. I wanted to be Bree, who went to parties and had fun.

I rode with Victoria to a downtown hotel. We walked into the crowded ballroom and she gave me a small push. "Go find someone who isn't mingling," she instructed. "Look for older men with expensive clothing."

I walked through the crowded room and when a waiter walked by I grabbed a glass of champagne. I felt like a fish out of water and had no idea what to do or say. I saw some artwork displayed along the far wall so I headed in that direction.

An older gentleman was looking at an abstract piece and I walked up to speak to him. "I used to make up histories to paintings, but I'm afraid this one has me stumped."

The man turned and smiled before offering his glass to clink with mine. "My name is Robert," he offered.

"Hello Robert, I'm Bree."

He turned back to the painting and said, "It isn't that difficult, look at the colors and the lines."

I glanced at the odd shapes and bright colors. They merged into each other with black lines drawn in various directions. I smiled and said, "Now I see. It is a picture of lovers. Their lives so different but coming together regardless. And the lines are the paths that interrupt their devotion to each other."

I saw Edward and me in the painting. The thickest line was his journey to Germany. It was supposed to help him, but it left him paralyzed and angry. I was the thin line, wandering off in no certain direction without him.

When my eyes began to water I walked to the next painting and Robert followed me. "Are you an artist?" he asked.

"No, I used to manage a small gallery."

"I've been a collector for years," he said as his attention turned to the painting.

"Have you heard of Vermeer's, The Concert?" I asked him, hoping to finally get some answers about what I saw in Mr. Banner's safe.

"Yes, it was stolen from a private collection in 1990. I suspect it will turn up soon."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"The economy has made the art world take a serious hit. It will turn up and spike prices again. It is all very speculative, but if you have the right pieces at the right time, it is a grand investment."

I thought for a moment about Edward's words and his abilities. I turned to Robert and said, "So if you were able to see a pattern in the trends you could make a lot of money, couldn't you?"

"Yes, but it isn't easy to see trends," he laughed, thinking my question was childish.

I was suddenly very quiet as I thought about the job I had held for so many years. Mr. Banner never worried about the gallery making money, and maybe he used it just to keep abreast of various trends. The first place I ever laid eyes on Edward was in the gallery. I shook my head at the realization Edward and Banner knew each other. I was stupid not to see it sooner. Of course I would be offered a dream job that would keep me with my son, Edward had arranged it.

Robert finally interrupted my introspection. "Are you okay, Bree?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said, and asked if I could freshen his drink.

I was on my way to the bar when another man reached out for my arm. "Hello, are you new?" he asked.

"Yes, I just started working with Laurent today," I said with a smile.

He took the two glasses from my hand and set them on a side table before asking, "May I have a dance?"

"Certainly," I replied and walked toward the dance floor.

He pulled me tightly to his body and I felt very uncomfortable. I should have told him I needed to return to Robert but it was too late. I tried to push back a little and said, "My name is Bree, who are you?"

He laughed at my ignorance and then said, "I'll let you figure it out."

I didn't like the way he was treating me and when his hand moved to my ass I took a step away from him. Robert arrived just in time and interrupted our dance. "Excuse me Leonard; I've already spoken for Bree's company this evening."

I quickly took hold of Robert's arm and let him lead me away. I was shaking and thanking the elderly man profusely when he said, "I've already paid Laurent, would you like to leave now."

"Um…paid….I'm sorry, what do you mean?"

My heart was pounding furiously and I looked around the room and realized how totally stupid and naïve I had been. I was a call girl, an expensive hooker for men who paid top dollar to cheat on their wives.

"I'm afraid I'm at the age where medication is required, but I doubt you will be disappointed all the same," he said, and held his arm toward to door for me to lead him away.

My body began to shake and my mouth went dry. "Look," I said nervously. "I think there has been a mistake."

His jaw tightened and he grabbed my elbow harshly. "I've already paid," he said in anger.

I saw my reflection in a mirror and realized Laurent had invested a lot of money in me, there was no way I could pay it back. I finally nodded and walked toward the elevators. I grabbed some more champagne before we entered the elevator and quickly drank it down. Robert drank his quickly too, so when we got into his limo I poured him another glass.

I had no idea where we were going, but I kept the booze flowing and noticed how his words began to slur. I had to help him from the car and into the lakeside condo he brought me to. I helped him to the bed and then offered to give him a massage. I removed his shirt and shoes and turned him over on the bed as I gently rubbed his back. He was snoring in a matter of seconds.

I jumped up and messed up the covers, removed his pants, and put my dress on a chair before putting on one of his shirts and a pair of flannel bottoms I had to pin. I snuck out of the back of the complex and got onto a city bus. It was then I let my emotions go and began to cry.

I couldn't do this anymore. I needed my family and I missed my son. When I got to a corner with a fast food restaurant I got off the bus and went inside. I asked a young kid if I could use the phone. He looked at the manager and then pulled his own phone from his pants and handed it to me. His generosity sent me into tears again.

I walked over to an empty booth and dialed a number. When I heard his voice I began to sob loudly.

"Bells?" he asked in shock.

"Daddy, I need help," I cried.

"Where are you?" he asked, and I could hear him looking for a paper or pen.

"I'm in Chicago. I want to come home."

"I'll buy you a ticket baby, on the first flight out of there. Can you make it to the airport?" he asked.

"Yeah, can you set the flight for in the morning?" I asked, knowing I had to make it to my apartment and get some decent clothes as well as the last of my money.

"Sure, are you okay, are you hurt?" he asked.

"Dad, I left my son, God, who does something like that?" It seemed so selfless at the time but now it sounded crazy. I left the one good thing in my life and I couldn't understand how I ended up here.

"Bella, just get home and we'll talk," he said, and I felt reassured when he didn't condemn me.

I didn't have any hope of getting Masen back. Emmett would be furious at me and most likely never let me near my child again.

"I didn't know what I had gotten myself into," I confessed, needing to unburden my mind. "I thought I just talked to people to keep the party lively."

My father was silent and then he said with a shaky voice, "People take advantage of young women who are alone. I'm sure you were tricked."

"James targeted me for Laurent," I babbled. "He saw a stupid girl and he knew I would fall for it."

"Not a stupid girl," my dad said adamantly, "A heartbroken girl. Let me call Edward…."

"No," I said forcefully. "I don't' want to see Edward. I need you and mom," I cried.

"Okay baby, we'll be there to pick you up. Come home and everything will work out."

I hung up and wiped my face before taking the phone back to the young man. He took it from my hand and at the same time handed me twenty dollars. I looked at him and asked, "What's your name?"

"Lucas Trent," he whispered.

"My name is Bree Smith and I'll make this up to you Lucas Trent," I said and walked out the door to the nearest bus stop.

The world was full of people who wanted to take advantage of others, but it was also full of people like Lucas and I wanted to remember it. I wanted Masen to be like this young man, not like the Volturi's or Tanya, or Laurent and James. Emmett would make sure if it, and it gave me a sense of relief.

I made it home and took a long bath before throwing a few things into my backpack. I set my alarm for five in the morning and then wrote a note for the landlady. I ate the last of my cereal and then made my way to the corner for a bus.

It was still dark outside but my mood was sunny. I was going home, and just the thought of seeing Masen from a distance filled me with joy. I was planning in my mind what to say to Emmett so he would let me hold my child and talk to him. I knew Emmett had a kind heart, I just hope it still held a bit of mercy for me.

A car pulled up to the little store behind me and a man got out. He walked up to the bus stop and I glanced up at him. My heart jumped into my throat when I saw it was James. He gave me a big smile and sat next to me on the bench.

"Bree, Bree, Bree," he said with a chuckle. "Did you think you could do just one trick and walk away. You're in demand girl."

"I have to go home," I said nervously. "My father is a cop and he's looking for me."

He leaned in closer and whispered, "Then it is a good thing you are using an alas, because he'll never be able to find you."

I realized with all the fake documents I had it would be impossible for anyone to trace me, even though he knew where I was. I had messed up again, and this very well could be the final time. I gathered all the courage I could find and said, "If you touch me I'll scream."

He sighed and let his head drop, as if my resistance was only bothersome. "Okay," he said and stood. I thought he was leaving and for a small moment I had a glimpse of hope that I would be home safely by evening. But his body twisted around and his fist hit me right on the jaw. My head flew to the side and as my body melted off the bench everything went black.


	31. Chapter 31

31

The only thing I can say about Bree Smith is she is dumber than Bella Cullen and Bella Swan combined. My father was a cop, and my mother was a teacher, how did I end up so stupid? I woke up in a plush apartment I recognized as Victoria's. She was holding ice to my chin and when I opened my eyes she frowned at me.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to cover a bruise this big, and your whole damn chin is swollen," she complained.

I raised my hand to feel the numb, cold spot on my face and she pushed it away. I sat up and she moved over to a chair as she continued to watch me closely. I looked around the room for anyone guarding the place but she quickly put an end to all thoughts of escape.

"The door needs a remote to open," she said bluntly.

I nodded to let her know I understood what she was telling me. I leaned back on the sofa and said, "You guys have no idea what you're in for. I'm trouble you don't need."

I tried to sound confident, but in reality I believed I was going to be stuck in this world forever.

"If you do this right you'll have more money and more adventures than you can imagine," Victoria said to try and convince me to be happy about my predicament.

I was done with adventures; I wanted my parents so I could get the help I needed to get my life back on track. I closed my eyes and winced at the pain in my face. Victoria sighed and said, "There is no way you can work tonight. I'll get you one day off but you damn well better be ready by Friday night. It is the big money night and Laurent won't care if you're the fucking elephant man."

"Thank you," I said earnestly. I was relieved to hear I wouldn't be prostituted out tonight.

I also hoped Robert would believe he got his money's worth and didn't complain to Laurent. I wondered what my father would do when I didn't arrive in Seattle. He had no way to contact me but he did know what city I was in. Chicago had over two million people. I had no hope of him finding me.

Victoria was still staring at me so I asked her, "Do you have any children?" She shook her head back and forth and I felt my eyes fill with tears. "I have a son," I admitted.

"Are you a junkie?" she asked, "Is that why you lost custody?"

"No," I whispered. "I left him with his father."

She laughed and it angered me. It wasn't funny and if she thought I would find her laughter amusing she was wrong. She finally said, "It is the oldest story in the book. A strong man convinces a woman she's weak and undeserving so she runs away to lick her wounds in private. Only this time you found a way to be stronger than him."

"How's that?" I asked.

"You can make a lot of money with Laurent. Money talks in this world and you can get your kid back."

"It isn't legitimate money," I pointed out.

"Do you think the money men make is legitimate? They screw over anyone they can for a buck. You are just doing it in a more literal way," she laughed.

I thought of Edward and his money, but then my mind went to Emmett. "You're wrong," I stated. "There are men like my father and my son's father who put character ahead of money."

"And they will always be bottom feeders. They are not your savior Bree, they are content to let men like James and Laurent walk all over them. You are stuck here so you better make the best of it."

I tried not to believe her words. I would rather be dead than end up as a whore. I wouldn't do this to my son and I wouldn't cheapen the love I had known with Edward. It didn't matter he didn't want me anymore; I could at least keep my dignity.

I felt my chin again and then asked if I could take a bath. She showed me the bathroom and I was happy to see a large jetted tub. I felt much better after I soaked for a bit. I put on the robe she laid out on my bed and then laid down to rest. I woke to the smell of food and went to find the source of the smell.

Victoria had Chinese food delivered and handed me a carton of noodles. "Laurent wants you to put on a few pounds," she added, making me lose my appetite. I felt like a show animal that needed to earn a blue ribbon.

I sat next to her at the table and said, "You're a beautiful woman, why do you let Laurent and James rule your life?"

She looked at me with amusement and then said, "You're new, so I'll let you get away with this once. My life and my situation have nothing to do with you, so stay out of it."

"Okay," I said with embarrassment.

She took a bite and then added, "Why shouldn't I make big bucks for something my father and brothers took for free."

I looked at her face and could see the mask of pain she carried around with her. I wanted to comfort her, but I knew anything I said would only anger her further. I remained quiet and we ate silently.

When evening came Victoria began to get ready for another party. She dressed in a silk gown and put her hair in an up do. She looked almost regal and I told her honestly how beautiful she was. She left with instructions for me to stay put and not to use the phone. She told me all the calls were monitored so it wouldn't do me any good to try to use it. As soon as she left I tried all the doors and windows, she was right, there was no way out.

I tried to use her computer but it was password protected. I finally got into bed and tried to come up with a plan. I would have to go outside eventually and nothing would stop me from screaming for help. I would chance a beating and threaten any man who tried to touch me with police action from my father.

I fell asleep to the image of Masen in my mind. He would be my strength to do whatever it took to get out of this situation.

By the following evening I was going crazy with boredom. Victoria didn't return until late morning and she went right to bed. It was Thursday night and we didn't have a party planned, but I was expected to join them all for the Friday night bash.

I looked at the dresses Victoria left for me and tried to pick one I could wear short heels with and run easily in. Surely Laurent wouldn't want to cause a scene in front of his clients. I suspected James would be watching me closely but all I needed was one open chance to make the most of it.

I went to bed early and got as much rest as possible. The following morning Victoria informed me and stylist would be coming to us for our hair and makeup. They weren't taking a chance on letting me get outside.

I felt jittery all day and anxious to get something going. I worried about my father canvassing the city for me and worried further that possibly he wasn't. I was shaking by the time it came to leave for the evening.

I followed Victoria to the elevator and we exited into the parking garage where a car waited right next to the elevator door. We climbed in and then I realized the windows were darkened and I couldn't see anything outside. My anxiety rose as I began to lose hope.

We drove for a long time to an estate in the middle of nowhere. I was going to be stuck at this house and knew my chance of escape was growing slim. I followed Victoria into the house and Laurent stood waiting with a wicked smile on his face.

"You are looking well, Bree," he said and I refused to answer.

Victoria grabbed me by the hair and said, "Laurent gave you a compliment."

"Thank you," I said with tears in my eyes.

Laurent walked up to where I stood and said, "I have something special planned for you tonight. You can thank me later."

I grew more nervous and asked, "What do you have planned for me?"

He laughed at my fear and nodded to a large man standing by the door. He took hold of my arm and walked me back to the car. I was relieved I wouldn't be here at the party, but worried I was going somewhere more remote.

I got into the car and he shut the door. He spoke to the driver and handed him a card with an address on it. I couldn't see where we were going, but we didn't drive for long. I got out of the car and saw we were at a small airfield.

"No," I cried as I tried to pull away from him.

He pushed me forward and practically tossed me into the airplane. I tried to jump back out and he pushed me hard in the chest, making me fall onto the floor of the plane.

I looked at the man and begged with everything I had. "Please, I have a son. Let me go, and I'll make sure you are paid well. Please help me."

He laughed at me and said, "Every whore has a kid, it is a hazard of the job."

His words hurt me deeply. It was exactly what I had become, a whore for whoever paid Laurent the most money. If I couldn't get away tonight I knew I would never have the nerve to face my son again. I tried one last time and cried openly. "I'm a good person. I want to go home to my son."

"Good people don't run off on their kids," he said, and shut the airplane door.

I sat there on the floor feeling the weight of his words. I was a horrible mother, and daughter, and person. All the fight drained from my body and I didn't squirm when someone helped me into my seat. I was strapped in and never moved as the plane took off into the night sky.

I didn't bother trying to figure out where we were going, because it didn't matter. I was only aware of my lungs filling and then exhaling air. I closed my eyes and said a silent goodbye to Masen, certain I would never see him again.

The plane landed and I was put into yet another car. I leaned against the window and let my tears fall freely. We pulled up to a large building and I was taken to the underground elevator again. I didn't scream or try to run. I walked numbly into the lift and watched the driver hit the penthouse button with a special key.

The elevator opened inside the opulent room and I was pushed into it. "I'll be waiting downstairs, call before you come down," he instructed.

I didn't respond and I stood all alone in the middle of the room. I closed my eyes when I heard someone open a door and footsteps coming toward me. I wanted to be far from my body, and unaware of what was going to happen. I decided I would ask for a drink and possibly get drunk so tonight would be a blur.

I was frozen with fear when I heard a second set of footsteps. My shoulders slumped and I whispered, "God help me."

I turned to see who my master would be and felt my knees buckle. I was sure I was hallucinating and forced myself to scramble away from the face I knew so well. He came closer and I tried to scream but he grabbed my arm and pulled me to his chest. "It's okay Bella, you're safe."

I tightened my arms around his neck and sobbed his name over and over again. "Emmett, Emmett, Emmett."


	32. Chapter 32

32

My brain could not understand why Emmett and some strange woman were here. I couldn't stop my legs from shaking and he had to carry me to a chair. I had so many questions to ask him but the only thing that came out was, "Masen?"

"He's at home," he informed me. "Charlie is in Chicago and this is Officer Stewart. She is going to take your place when it is time to leave."

I looked over at the woman who had my same coloring and build. "How did you find me?" I asked as I collapsed into sobs again.

"You can thank a young man from McDonalds. He remembered the name you gave him when Charlie called the number you called from."

"Lucas Trent," I said, remembering the name of my savior.

"The local cops have been trying to take down Laurent for years. You got them inside his organization, Bella. You're a hero."

I shook my head harshly. I wasn't a hero; I was stupid and ran away from everything good in my life. I looked at Emmett with tears in my eyes and said, "Can you ever forgive me?"

He wiped my tears with his thumbs and kissed my cheek. "Of course, don't worry for one second about it."

I nodded and he moved to pull his wallet from his pants. He handed me a picture of Masen and the joy mixed with pain was overwhelming. I held it to my heart as I cried. He looked so happy and healthy. I had been gone for three months and he was balm for my eyes and my soul.

"Would you like to talk with him on the phone?" Emmett asked.

I didn't know how to answer. Of course I wanted to talk to him, but how could I explain my absence. This was something that had to be done face to face. I took a deep breath and said, "I want to see him, will you let me see him Emmett?"

He kissed my forehead and said, "Bella, just rest and in the morning we'll go home."

I noticed he didn't answer my question. I wouldn't blame him if he insisted I stay away, but I still didn't want to do this over the phone. I curled up on the couch in a ball and Officer Stewart came over to question me.

I told her everything I knew about Laurent and James. When we finished talking she looked at my dress and said, "Can you change, I need to wear that tomorrow morning."

It made me laugh and it felt wonderful. I followed her into the bedroom and she gave me some jeans and a sweatshirt to wear. I felt like my old self simply by changing out of the gown. Emmett knocked on the door and handed me the phone. "It's Charlie."

They left me alone to speak to my father. I was laughing and crying at the same time when I told him he was the greatest cop in the world. He asked if I was okay and I told him nothing had happened to me yet. He saved me in time and the news filled him with relief.

When he told me he would see me at the airport the next day I felt safer already. Emmett was a huge guy capable of tackling someone easily, but my dad had a gun and that eased my mind for now.

I went back to the sitting room and got on the couch to listen to Emmett and Officer Stewart talk. They explained to me how Emmett used an assumed identity to arrange for a new girl. The police department put up a large sum of money which had been marked bills and the moment Laurent deposited it they had enough to take him down. Officer Stewart would return as me so all the peripheral people could be caught, like Victoria and my driver.

I eventually drifted off to sleep. We all slept in the same room, not taking any chances of a surprise visit by James.

When it was time to leave the next morning I called downstairs and told them to have my driver ready. Officer Stewart came out of the bathroom looking so much like me it made me gasp. Emmett escorted her to the car and gave her a tight hug so the driver wouldn't look too closely at her face.

As soon as they drove off he took me to his rental car and we hurried off to the airport. I walked into the crowded ticket area and saw my father waiting anxiously. I ran full speed into his arms and cried loudly as he confessed his love over and over for me.

He wouldn't let go of my hand until we went through security. Emmett walked on one side of me and my father remained on the other. I felt a huge sense of relief when the plane took off into the sky. I finally relaxed and believed it was finally over.

I looked at my father and said, "I am so sorry, dad."

"Bella, we all realize we pushed you too far. We expected you to figure everything out and it wasn't fair. It is our fault you ran."

I looked over at Emmett and he nodded in agreement. I had to tell them the truth. It wasn't all the drama I had been through; it was Edward's rejection of me that pushed me over the edge. I shook my head and said, "Edward didn't want me."

Emmett looked at my dad and said, "Bella, Edward lives with me now. You'll see him when you see Masen."

"No, I can't," I begged. "I'm not strong enough to see him. I need to fix things with Masen first."

My dad and Emmett looked at each other again and then they both nodded. I settled back in my seat and tried to rest. I thought of Masen and what I would say. I planned to purchase something at the airport for him, a little gift to soften the shock of seeing me again.

When we landed in Seattle my mother was waiting. I ran to her just as I had with my father and let her cry all over my face. I apologized and she wouldn't hear it. Everyone was being too forgiving and I didn't feel like I deserved it.

We all got into her car and she drove to Emmett's house. I waited in the car as they got Masen and brought him out to see me. I held out my arms and said, "Hi Masen, Mommy missed you so much."

He got a big smile on his face and jumped into the car and into my arms. I held him tightly as I cried loudly. I kissed him over and over again until he finally asked me to stop. I laughed and held him back to look at him. "You are such a big boy. You've grown so much."

"Daddy got me a tricycle," he announced proudly.

"Wow, you really are a big boy," I said and kissed him again.

I looked over at Emmett and mouthed, "Thank you."

His eyes were wet and he nodded before saying. "Rose and I will go for a bit and give you time alone."

I saw Rose get into her car as she helped Lucy into a car seat. I waved to her guiltily as they drove away. My mother asked me if I wanted to see Masen's trike. Masen insisted and began pulling on my arm. As soon as I got out of the car and into the back yard my parents jumped in and drove away.

I was angry at them for leaving me here to face something I did not want to face. I glanced at Masen and said, "Do you want to ride you trike and I'll walk next to you?"

He nodded and then said, "I have to ask daddy first."

"It's okay, Mommy can give you permission," I said since Emmett was gone.

He got the tricycle and began riding down the driveway. I had to jog a little to keep up with him. I felt better as we got away from the house. I finally stopped and asked Masen to take a break. He got off of the seat and came over to sit on the curb next to me.

I ran my fingers through my hair and said, "I'm sorry I was gone so long. I'll never leave again, I promise."

"Okay," he said with a grin. "Daddy doesn't have to look for you anymore."

"Was he looking for me?" I said lightly.

"Yes, and he said he would spend all his pennies," he informed me.

I laughed and said, "Do you mean all his money?"

Masen nodded and then leaned his head on my arm. "We would wish for you to come home on the stars."

"And I came," I said with a tight throat.

"Yeah," he said proudly, "you came."

"I got you a present, but it is in Grandma's car. I'll get it when they come back."

He smiled and looked down the street at his house. "Lucy will be mad," he said. I hadn't thought to get her something and it gave me a pang of guilt. He turned to look at me and said, "Her mommy has a baby in her tummy."

"Really?" I said in surprise. Rose and Emmett were having another child and I wondered if it had anything to do with his generosity toward me, by allowing me to see Masen.

"She didn't eat it," he informed me.

"Oh, that's good," I laughed, and he nodded in agreement.

I leaned my head on my knees to be even with Masen's face and I said, "Son, Mommy has made some big mistakes but I want you to know you can depend on me. I'm going to make sure you are never without mommy again, okay?"

He put his small hand on my cheek and said, "I missed you, Mommy."

"I missed you every second of every day," I said truthfully. "It was really nice of daddy to let me visit you."

"You can stay at our house cause he found you," Masen announced.

"I might have to go home with Grandma and Grandpa for a bit, but I'll come see you all the time," I added quickly.

"Can I come to Forks and go fishing?" he asked, excited about the possibility.

I smiled; grateful he had a positive memory of Forks and didn't see it as the place I had disappeared from his life. I nodded and said, "We'll ask your daddy if you can come."

"Daddy will say I have fishes on the brain," he laughed and patted his own head.

"There is nothing wrong with having fishes on the brain," I laughed. "Grandpa Swan has fishes on the brain all the time."

Masen laughed and got up from the curb and went back to his tricycle. He turned it around with much difficulty and then began riding back toward the house. I wasn't sure what to do as I followed behind him. Maybe I should face Edward now while Masen could act as a buffer.

I could say a quick hello and ask him to call my parents and ask them to return. Surely he didn't want a big confrontation. I prepared myself to see him in a wheelchair, bitter and angry at me. I wondered if he would even come out to see me. He might be too embarrassed and remain hidden away in his room.

I helped Masen put his trike away and then took hold of his hand. He led me to the house and as soon as we got inside Masen asked me to pour him some juice. I got a cup and opened the fridge to get his drink. He gulped it down the way little boys are prone to, taking big gasps of air.

I finally said to him, "Masen, is Uncle Edward home?"

He laughed and stood on his tiptoes to reach the sink, dropping the cup into it. "No," he said with a giggle, "Not Uncle Edward, but daddy."

"Uncle Edward doesn't live here?" I asked in confusion.

"No, Daddy lives here," he corrected.

I took a breath of relief and smiled at my handsome son. A noise in the other room caught my attention. I looked up to see Edward standing against the doorframe and it caused me to gasp.

Edward nodded at Masen and said, "I think he meant I'm not his Uncle, I'm his father."


	33. Chapter 33

33

I had to hold onto the counter to keep standing. I felt an urge to run, but I was done with running away. I had no idea what had happened in my absence to make Emmett let Edward's real identity be known. They must have had some sort of reconciliation.

I finally found my voice and said softly, "He knows?"

"Yes, he knows," Edward said, and I thought I heard his voice shaking.

I realized he was standing and I covered my mouth with my hand as my eyes filled with tears. It took a few attempts to speak but I managed to say, "You can walk."

He looked down at his legs and then his eyes met mine and filled with his own tears. "It was only the swelling from the surgery. I caused all of this because I was too stupid to wait and see."

I felt like he was taking all the blame for me running away. I shook my head but I couldn't speak. He finally held out both of his arms and said, "My Bella."

I ran to his arms and when I felt them circle me and hold me tightly I cried out uncontrollably. He began to cry too and said angrily, "Don't ever leave me again."

I held onto him so tightly I was afraid of hurting him. I never thought he would be in my arms again and the feeling made it impossible to let go. My hand moved into his hair and I held his mouth to my shoulder tightly. He kissed it over and over again as we both continued to cry.

Both of us had forgotten about Masen witnessing the entire thing until we heard his soft cries. I looked over to see him standing in confusion and watching us. Edward let go of me and held out his hand for Masen. He ran to his daddy and Edward picked him up so we could both speak to him.

"Son, we are crying because we are so happy to be together again. We're not sad, we're happy," Edward said.

Masen buried his face in Edward's shoulder and we both laughed. We walked over to the sofa and sat together; giving each other hugs and doing everything we could to make Masen laugh. I was having a really hard time keeping my hands from running all over Edward, but no matter how hard I tried to stop, they had a will of their own.

I was relieved when Rose and Emmett got home so Edward and I could have a chance to talk alone. I walked over to Rose and hugged her tightly. "Congratulations on the pregnancy," I offered.

"Thank you, we are both very excited," she said and then added in my ear, "And more excited about the possibility of Edward moving to his own place."

"What is he doing here?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes and then said, "I'll let him explain it to you."

I had a feeling the story was going to be more interesting than what had gone on with me in Chicago. I asked if she could watch Masen while Edward and I talked and she gave me a wink and a gentle squeeze.

"Masen, Lucy, do you want to make cookies?"

The both ran to the kitchen and squealed with anticipation. Edward motioned to the hallway and I followed him to his room. I saw a small bed next to Edward's and knew Masen had been sharing his room. I was ready to inundate him with questions when he pulled me into his arms and kissed me passionately.

It was so familiar and my body responded on its own. I moaned uncontrollably and his hands tightened and his tongue deepened. For a few moments everything was right in the world. Edward was kissing me and nothing could hurt me again.

When he finally pulled away as he struggled to steady his breathing, he chuckled and took a step away from me. "I have to calm down or I'll bend you over that desk."

It was so Edward to speak bluntly about sex when we had so much to talk about. I laughed and walked over to sit on his bed. He looked at me with a sexy stare and I felt my body leaning toward him. I forced myself to back away and said, "So, what's going on here?"

"I'm hard for you," he said, misunderstanding what I was asking.

I shook my head and ran my hands down my face in frustration. "No, I meant why are you living here?"

"Oh," he said and gave me a crooked smile. "Wow, where do I start?"

I remained quiet and let Edward come up with the starting point himself. He finally said, "You know how I took a bullet for Emmett?"

I nodded and furrowed my brow as the scene played out in my mind.

"Well, he realized I wasn't such a selfish fucker after all. I was really down when I…." He looked at me with a guilty face and then finished with… "When I lied to you about not wanting you or Masen."

It was more than saying those words; he made me think he wanted Tanya and had slept with her. I hated to bring up the painful subject, but we had to clear the air about everything.

"You slept with Tanya," I accused him, "After you told me you wouldn't."

His eyes got big and he said, "No, I didn't, I swear, I only let her blow me."

My mouth fell open widely at his admission. Only Edward would see that as remaining faithful to me. He finally shook his head and took a deep breath. "Wait, let me explain. She wasn't buying the fact I chose her over you. She said I had to prove it by having sex with her. I didn't want to stick anything inside her, so I talked her into oral sex instead. She gave, I didn't," he added further.

I realized Edward and I were both hopeless without each other. We needed each other so our worlds made sense. I couldn't be too angry at him, not with all the drama that went down in Chicago. I smiled and asked him to continue on with his story.

"Emmett let me move in here and Rose took care of me until I began walking again. They got to see me with Masen every day and they finally agreed he should know the truth.

I braced myself and asked, "How did you tell him?"

"It was easy actually," he said with a grin and his pronouncement made me nervous. "We explained that I wasn't healthy enough to be his daddy so Emmett loved him until I got better. We told him we both love him now and I'm ready to be his daddy now."

"How has he adjusted?" I asked.

"Great, he asks questions every once in a while. Emmett and I both sit down with him and answer the best we can." Edward smiled and then added, "He missed you like crazy, we both did."

I smiled and watched his widen. I finally laughed and said, "Well, I'm not going to blow you."

His smile turned into a frown and he said, "Really, why not?"

I stood and walked over to where he leaned against the desk. I tussled his hair and said, "What am I going to do with you?"

He took my hand and placed it around his waist as he stared into my eyes. "I love you Bella. I'm sorry for everything I said."

"I'm sorry for running away. I think we both need some counseling."

"Maybe family counseling for all of us," Edward offered.

I leaned in very slowly and lightly placed my lips on his. He held still and exhaled onto my mouth. My arms moved their way up his body and around his neck. "I love you," I said against his lips.

We kissed for several minutes, until I could hear Charlie's voice in the other room. I pulled Edward's shirt out of his jeans to hide his erection and then took his hand and led him from the room. Masen announced we would have cookies soon so we all sat down and chatted together happily.

I wasn't sure where I belonged, my son and the man I loved were here, but it wasn't somewhere I could just join them. We didn't have a place for all of us and when my parents decided to leave I didn't know what to do.

Edward solved the problem for me by saying. "Why don't we go to my parents for a few days?"

I nodded and we walked my parents to their car. I got the gift for Masen and my mom handed me a bag full of clothes she brought for me. I hugged her tightly and promised I would come see them soon. I walked over to my father and couldn't find the words to say what I wanted to say. He pulled me into his arms and said, "You're still my little girl, I love you."

I smiled with tears flowing as they drove away. Edward put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I turned around so I could hug him the way I wanted. We walked back into the house and Edward went to pack some things for him and Masen. I sat at the table and Emmett came over to sit next to me.

"Bella, for the past three months I got the opportunity to know my brother. He is a pretty incredible man. I also found out you were right, I wasn't used to losing out to Edward and I needed a way to come out on top." He shook his head with remorse and said, "I love Masen, I really do."

"Emmett, how can I ever repay you? You held everything together while Edward and I grew up; you are a pretty incredible man yourself."

He reached out to place his hand on top of mine. "I'll always be here for you, for any one of you. What is family for?"

I got out of my chair and hugged him in earnest. "Thank you for almost hitting me with a Frisbee," I said, and we both laughed at the memory.

Edward came back with the bags and Masen was excited about going to the Cullens. I gave him the small bag with the dinosaur I bought him and watched him jump and down with excitement. We all got into Edward's car and drove to the house I had missed so much in my mind.

Carlisle and Esme came out to greet us and I apologized as they both hugged me. Esme wouldn't have any of it and insisted I stop. We all went into the house and Esme had food waiting. We ate and then I got Masen ready for bed. I bathed him, a simple thing I had missed so much. Then I read him a story and cuddled with him in the bed until he fell asleep. I couldn't look at him enough, or touch him enough. I was afraid he would disappear and I would wake up to find this was all a dream.

Edward snuck into the room and knelt at the edge of the bed. "He's beautiful, isn't he," Edward said with pride.

"Yes, he's a precious angel," I whispered, and moved a lock of hair from his face.

"Um," Edward said nervously, "I'll understand if you want to sleep in here with Masen."

I turned over to face him and put my hand against his cheek. He held it firmly and closed his eyes for a moment. When he looked at me again I whispered, "I love you so much."

His lips were shaking as he said, "I need you to show me. I need you to convince me we'll never be apart again."

"Okay," I said and he pulled me up and walked with his arm around me to the room down the hallway. It was the same room I had found him in years ago when I confessed I had feelings for him. It seemed like another lifetime.

He shut the door and locked it before turning to face me. He chuckled and said, "I'm a bit nervous."

I smiled and began to unbutton his shirt. "Of me? That's silly."

He let his shirt fall to the ground and took hold of my sweatshirt and pulled it over my head. His fingers moved to trace the body he remembered. I took hold of his jeans and unhooked the buttons as he removed mine. We stood naked in front of each other, and then Edward slowly moved onto one knee.

"Bella, say you'll marry me," he said, and I covered my face as I cried again.


	34. Chapter 34

34

Edward was always one to shock me, but this time I was stunned. We hadn't even had an hour alone together and he was already asking me to marry him. I didn't deserve him, I knew he would exhaust me, and I also know he would make me happier than I had ever been in my life.

"Yes," I said through my tears. "I'll marry you Edward, now get up here and kiss me."

He pulled my body to his mouth and kissed his way up to my lips. He began pushing me back to the bed and we fell together. We were in a big rush to connect so I said as he kissed me. "Do you have a condom?"

"No," he said, and kept moving.

"I'm not on the pill," I announced, so he wouldn't blame me for any accident that could happen.

"Good," he said and pushed into me. I groaned loudly, amazed at the feeling of him. "God, you're so wet," he said a bit too loudly.

I pulled his mouth to mine to quiet him and kissed him with everything I had. He rolled onto his back and held me tightly to his body. I pushed up off his chest and found the spot that drove me crazy. I forgot about the noise as I huffed and moaned, building to almost unconsciousness.

Edward held his breath and arched his back as he came hard. It pushed me along with him and we both cried out loudly unable to contain the overwhelming feeling. I needed him physically but my body was responding to him emotionally. He was mine, forever.

He laughed a little and then pulled me to his side where he stared into my eyes. "Why are you laughing?" I asked him.

"I planned to take this really slow, but maybe next time," he said and laughed again.

"It was perfect," I told him truthfully. I wrapped my arms around him and we drifted off to sleep.

I dreamed of holding Edward as he whispered in my ear. The words became distorted and I began to hear the awful things he said to me in front of Tanya. He was laughing and telling me I was nothing, it was Tanya he really wanted. I covered my ears but his word only grew louder. "Did you think I would ever want a woman like you, Bella?"

"Bella, Bella," he called and shook me. I startled and sat up in a panic. I looked over at him and all my pent up anger came flowing out of me. I began pounding on his chest with my fists. He was finally able to work his way out from under me and jumped out of the bed. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled.

"You're a brilliant man Edward, why do you do such stupid things? You kissed her in front of me and told me I was nothing," I screamed.

He looked totally stunned and yelled back, "I apologized to you and told you it was part of the pretence."

"Was she pretending to suck you off, was that pretend?" I yelled and pushed him with my hands.

"I was imagining you!" he screamed at the top of his lungs to make it so much worse.

I grabbed onto my own hair and laughed loudly, but nothing was funny. I felt like I was coming unglued and my rage was controlling me. "Oh God, how can we raise a child?" I mumbled.

Now it was Edward's turn to unleash his anger. He was spitting as he yelled, "You don't have to be perfect to raise a child. You just have to love him perfectly. You cost me three years and I won't let you take another moment away from me."

"I loved him enough to walk away when I knew it was for his own good," I cried.

"Well, I loved him enough to stay, even though I'm a messed up fuck," he yelled back.

I fell onto my knees as I sobbed loudly. I had ruined our perfect reunion and I didn't know how to fix it. I was riddled with guilt and insecurities. Edward came to my side and spoke softly to me. "Bella, I know what you went through took a toll, I understand. But I love you and I never want you to doubt it. I'll work on communication, I promise."

I threw my arms around him and cried into his neck. "I need help Edward. I can't handle this on my own anymore."

"Okay, we'll talk to my father in the morning," he said as he gently rubbed my back.

When we finally got back into the bed Edward had a huge smile plastered on his face. I looked at him warily and he said, "We had a huge fight and ended up back in bed. This is awesome."

I snuggled up to his side and said, "There may be hope we can be grown ups after all."

He rubbed my arm for a moment and then said, "Um…Bella, would it be stupid to try and do it slow now?"

I raised my head to look at him and laughed, "You seriously want to have sex now?"

His smile grew and he said, "I always want to have sex, I don't care if you yell at me. Hell, you can yell at me during sex if you want."

"You're hopeless," I sighed and he rolled me onto my back and hovered over me.

"No, I'm horny," he corrected.

I pulled him to my mouth and kissed him long and slow. We took our time, touching each other over every inch of our bodies. When we eventually connected he held still and stared at my face. Edward never could hide his emotions and I saw how much he loved me. I was crazy to doubt him.

The next morning was Sunday and I was excited to see Alice and Jasper. We showered and dressed and I went downstairs to find Masen helping Esme in the kitchen. "Mommy look," he said and held up a small cake, "Patty cakes."

Esme laughed and said, "Petit fours."

I walked over and held his face in my hands and said, "Mommy loves you more than anything in the world."

He offered me the little bite and I took it gratefully. He didn't seem to have any anger toward me, but I had no idea what the long term effects would be. Edward walked into the room and Masen lit up. "Daddy look, patty cakes," he said loudly.

"Petit fours," Esme corrected again.

"I think they should be called patty cakes, too," Edward said and gave Masen a kiss before wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Are you and mommy going to kiss?" Masen giggled.

Edward lowered his head and kissed me as Masen laughed. It was about time he got to see his parents together and planning a future. We left them and went into the sitting room to find Carlisle reading a paper. He looked up at us and said, "Is everything okay?"

I realized he heard us last night and I could feel my face blushing. "Yeah, we needed to clear the air a bit," I offered.

"Do you know anyone we can see for family counseling?" Edward asked.

"Sure, I'll get some numbers for you," Carlisle said, and then headed to his office.

I grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him to the music room. I couldn't think of anything better than hearing him play at this moment. He sat at the piano and messed around for a bit, then launched into the song he played for me years ago. He had no sheet music, and played from memory. I was amazed at how gifted he was at one moment and how stunted he could be in the next.

When we heard Emmett and Rose arrive we headed into the sunroom. Masen came running out to show Lucy the cakes and it filled my eyes with tears when Emmett gave him a hug and a kiss. We sat down and Carlisle handed Edward a card which he put in his pocket.

"Should we tell them about last night?" I said to Edward, meaning the engagement.

He looked at Emmett and Carlisle and said, "Oh, um…we did it twice," as he held up two fingers.

My head dropped and I shook it lightly, "No, I mean about what you asked me, when you got down on one knee."

"Oh," Edward laughed. "Yeah, we got engaged."

Esme gasped and shook her head back and forth. "No, you can't announce it today; promise you won't announce it today."

"Why?" Edward asked, and my heart was pounding in fear she didn't want me for her son.

"You'll see, just keep it quiet until later," she begged and we both nodded in agreement.

The front door opened again and Alice entered with Jasper. She was talking a mile a minute as she entered the room. She headed to the buffet and poured a drink before saying. "Good morning, daddy," and kissing Carlisle.

She stood between me and Edward and looked across the table at Emmett and Rose as she offered them a greeting. Then she placed her hands on mine and Edward's shoulders and said, "Good morning Edward, and Bella. Bella!" she screamed and threw her arms around me.

We all laughed and it felt good to know I appeared to naturally fit in so she didn't even notice me.

"Oh my God, you're all here so I have to make an announcement," she said and jumped up and down.

Carlisle called for Esme and she came into the room to listen. Alice held out her hand to display a ring and said, "Jasper and I are engaged."

Everyone clapped and cheered loudly as we congratulated the couple. Alice was bouncing with happiness and couldn't contain her excitement. She began tossing out all kinds of wedding ideas, making Rose and I promise to be in it. We all took a closer inspection of her ring and then Edward turned to me and said, "Did you keep the rings from Emmett?"

"Oh dear Lord," Emmett muttered and walked from the room.

I pulled Edward into the hallway and whispered angrily, "You seriously expect me to marry you with Emmett's ring?"

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I just thought it would make something simple. I mean, you're technically already Bella Cullen."

I shook my head and stared at him in disbelief. Dr. Zonis had to be wrong, Edward wasn't brilliant, he was an idiot. I raised my finger right into his face and said, "You make it so difficult to love you, but God help me, I do."

He laughed and pulled me into his arms for a passionate kiss. We returned to the sunroom for brunch and I kept watching Masen and Lucy as they sat at their own little table. They talked and teased and shared food, I realized Masen would be a great big brother.

"How's the house coming?" Emmett asked Edward.

I looked at him in confusion and Edward hit his forehead with his fist before turning to me and saying, "Oh yeah, I'm having the house rebuilt."

"Really," I asked in surprise, "when will it be done?"

"We should be in by Christmas," he said and I felt a twinge of excitement. We would be settled by Christmas and living truly as a family. I couldn't wait.

Rosalie looked at Edward and said, "You should let Bella pick the cabinets and flooring, but not if it will delay anything. I'm sure Carlisle and Esme will be as happy to be rid of you as I am."

Edward turned to me and explained, "I told her she looked plain without her makeup and she had to get up an hour early ever since."

Rosalie scowled at him and then looked at me with pity. "I feel sorry for you when you start to age, and Edward will age you quickly. He'll surely point out every wrinkle and age spot."

Edward took my hand and looked at me adoringly. "Bella doesn't need all that stuff. She's gorgeous just the way she is."

I smiled and wondered internally if he ever told Tanya she needed makeup, or if he assured her she was perfect just the way she was. I chastised myself for going there and pushed it out of my mind. This was a day of celebration and I was determined not to ruin it.


	35. Chapter 35

After we ate and the kids were busy running through the house Edward pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to go see our house. I nodded eagerly, anxious to see it rising from the ashes. I felt like that was how Edward and I were, rebuilding our relationship after it burned to the ground.

We drove there alone and when I saw the familiar log exterior I burst into tears. This was the place I brought Masen home and lived as my heart ached for Edward. I remembered all the dinners I made with Jake and Leah, doing whatever it took to keep my mind off of Edward.

Edward understood and hugged me without saying anything inappropriate. We walked around the rooms which were just empty spaces and I could picture us filling it with things we would pick out together. Edward walked over to the fireplace and said, "I have the perfect painting for this spot."

I smiled and said, "Do you invest in paintings?"

He shrugged and walked over to where the cabinets would be placed. "The art market is low right now. I'm playing the Chinese stock market and cleaning up."

I watched for a reaction when I said, "I'm sure some stolen masterpiece will turn up soon and spark prices." He looked at me and raised his eyebrows, but remained quiet. "You're not the only one who can see trends," I lied.

Edward took a deep breath and I could tell something had angered him. He was trying really hard to keep his cool. He leaned against a wall and then looked right at me. "But I'm the only one who saw a disparity in the thickness of a canvass. The amount of space from the wall to the frame. The ugly piece of shit on display as a ruse."

"I don't follow," I admitted. I hated how easily he could confuse me but I wasn't about to let this go without getting to the bottom of it.

He ran his hand through his hair and then looked at me with almost a look of disappointment. "I left it for you, hoping you would eventually tell me. I made the fake so you could tell the difference. I'm not judging you, but I'm begging you to give up on it."

I stared completely bewildered. I had no idea what he was talking about but he seemed to be accusing me of being an art thief. I walked closer and said adamantly, "I don't know what you're talking about, but I want to make it clear you did nothing for me."

"You didn't know about the Vermeer hiding behind the lady with the tits painting?" he asked with a tone of disbelief.

I felt my hands pull into fists at what he was inferring. I said through clenched teeth, "There was NOTHING in Banner's gallery that was stolen. I hung those pieces myself."

"And when you became the manager it was suddenly gone," he pointed out.

I let my mouth fall open and I yelled, "Because Mr. Banner sold it."

"A painting that hideous sold?" he asked, and I suddenly saw his point.

I covered my mouth and paced the room for a minute as I tried to think things through. I finally turned to defend my honor to Edward. "I never knew about any illegal activity regarding the gallery. I was an English major and knew nothing about art, surely you realized that?"

"So you weren't involved?" he asked, as if the concept would be foreign to him.

"No, I wasn't involved, I thought you were," I admitted.

His eyes widened and he said, "Me, I don't steal art."

"Well, how would I know that? You never told me anything about your life. You had a studio I didn't know about, a van I didn't know about, a house I didn't know about, and I'm sure there are other things I didn't know, too."

"Okay fine," he said and sat down on the dirty bare floor. He motioned for me to sit too so I came over to the wall and sat next to him. He took a deep breath and said, "I didn't have any friends, but I had people I would party with and girls I would screw. One night I was high and the chick had an easel and oil paints. I spent the entire night painting and it was the only time I felt normal. I could concentrate on one thing and it felt incredible. I didn't tell anyone because I knew I would mess it up somehow. I'm still waiting for the moment I mess it up, because I eventually mess everything up."

My expression softened and my heart ached for him, but he continued on.

"I sold a painting and invested it in the market. It became an incredible high for me. I produced something of worth and turned it into something more, but I knew it could come crashing down at any time. When I went to Germany it wasn't just for you. I mean, a big part of it was for you, but I also wanted to know I could be an artist and make it last. It was Aro who gave me the confidence that I was more than a passing phase."

"And Tanya?" I asked with a pounding heart.

"Oh God no," he said with disgust. "She was weak and cheap. But when I was shot I thought everything I was working toward ended. I thought you would leave me and my art would be worthless. I had nothing to offer you if you stayed. I saw your face Bella, and I never wanted you to look at me that way."

"Edward, I was worried about you and nothing more. I didn't care if your legs worked or not, I still loved you."

"It would have been more than just my legs. I couldn't lay in bed next to you limp and expect you to stay faithful to me," he said sadly.

I crawled onto my knees and scooted over to hold his face in my hands. "You need to listen very carefully to me. There is nothing we can't work out, okay? No matter what it is we can face it together and lean on each other. There are other ways to be intimate and I wouldn't have missed out on anything."

A smile grew on his face and he said, "Really, how?"

"You are such a shit," I said, and let go of his face.

He laughed and grabbed onto me. "No, come on, tell me, and say it really slowly," he teased.

I tried to wiggle away from him but he got into my face and said, "Say dildo Bella, you can say it."

"You're such a pervert," I said, and pushed him away as he continued to laugh.

We eventually got serious and began talking about the changes we would make to the house. They were only subtle things, since we both loved it the way it was. He took me outside and showed me a spot for a play area for Masen. He planned on putting in a fort and a swing set. Just talking about Masen made me miss him so we headed back to the Cullens in order to spend the rest of Sunday with our son.

We set up an appointment with a family counselor and when she heard a synopsis of our story she cleared her calendar right away. We showed up with Masen and we were both on edge, hoping we would all leave together.

"I'm Dr. Lynn," the woman said to Masen. "Can I ask you some questions?"

The woman was very robust and looked like a quintessential grandmother, putting me at ease and obviously Masen too.

"My name is Masen Emmett Cullen," he announced, assuming it would be her first question.

She chuckled and then said, "Masen tell me about your mommy."

He looked over at me and smiled. "Her name is Bella and she got sick and had to go get better."

I let my head fall and I stared guiltily at my hands. Dr. Lynn continued and said, "How did you feel when she was gone?"

"I cried and Lucy said I could have her mommy, but I didn't want her."

My eyes filled with tears and Edward put his arm around me.

"Are you happy your mommy is home now?" Dr. Lynn pushed.

"Yes, and she brought me a dinosaur and gives me lots of kisses."

I smiled at his words and Edward gave me a gentle squeeze. Dr. Lynn looked at me and said, "I think your mommy looks very healthy now and she won't need to leave again."

I mouthed the words, "Thank you," and she gave me a smiling nod.

"Okay, Masen, tell me about your daddy," she said, getting to the dangerous part of why we were there.

"My daddy is a painter and he went to school to learn how to think better. Daddy Emmett took care of me until Daddy Edward could think."

"Do you know Emmett and Edward are brothers?" she asked.

He nodded but I could tell he didn't fully understand what she was talking about so she added, "If Emmett had to go to a school do you think Edward would take care of Lucy?"

Masen nodded emphatically and looked over at Edward who quickly agreed.

"They both love you because you are their family. Just like your Grandpa's love you, too. You are a very lucky boy to have so many people who love you," she said, and Masen nodded along with her.

She called her assistant into the room and told her to take Masen into the toy room. He jumped up enthusiastically and I gave him a hug before he left the room. Dr. Lynn sat back in her chair and smiled at me and Edward. "Masen is fine. Make sure he maintains contact with Emmett but he's adjusted well."

I let out a deep breath and put my hand over my heart with relief…until she continued, "But you two are totally doing things the wrong way."

Edward and I gave each other a terrified glance and I instantly regretted coming here. If Masen was fine we should make a run for it and continue on as if we never heard of Dr. Lynn. She leaned closer to us and said, "If you want this to last we have a lot of work to do."

"I want it to last," I admitted sadly.

"What kind of work?" Edward asked.

It made me laugh and I could see the look of shock on Dr. Lynn's face. She saw his comment as hesitation, but I knew it was only his way of asking bluntly. I assured her Edward was on board for the counseling and she finally continued on.

"Bella, you met Emmett first, what made you pick Edward?" she asked.

Edward turned and gave me a huge smile. I stuttered for a moment and then said, "Emmett was too…perfect. There was nothing surprising or mysterious about him. I found Edward funny and talented and kind hearted, although he could be brutally blunt, and crass, and secretive, and…." I forced myself to stop talking.

"Did you think you could fix him?" she asked.

"I thought I could understand him," I corrected.

"Why, did you feel nobody understood you?" she pushed.

"No, I just wasn't attracted to Emmett," I said defensively. "I mean, he's good looking but I didn't feel anything when I looked at him. My heart wanted Edward."

"You wanted a rude, insensitive man?"

"No," I said with frustration. "Edward was dangerous and exciting; I never met anyone like him before."

He turned to Dr. Lynn and nodded as he said, "I sent her a picture of my dick."

My head spun around and I said, "Edward, think first!"

He nodded and sat back to keep quiet.

"As the Police Chief's daughter I would assume you weren't allowed to date dangerous, exciting boys," she pointed out.

I shook my head and let it fall. She made me realize my father's short leash had left me rebellious and longing for something different.

"How did you lose your virginity?" she asked, and Edward sat forward again and looked at me.

"Is this relevant?" I asked with embarrassment.

Edward quickly spoke up and said, "I think it's very relevant."

The only thing that scared me about sharing my story was the possibility of Edward sharing his. I didn't know if it was something I wanted to hear, because I knew he would most likely add unnecessary details.


	36. Chapter 36

36

I let my mind think back to when I dated Eric. I was a freshman in college and he was a senior. I felt so grown up and wanted to make the leap into womanhood. It wasn't about love, it was about growing up. My experience with Eric was generic, typical, and nothing special. We stayed together for about six months but every time with Eric was the same.

I made my confession and gave broad details, mentioning how I longed for more and Edward had provided it. I left out the first encounter in the gallery, but Edward didn't.

"You must have loved it when I did you in public," he said, and ran his hand gently through my hair.

My face reddened and I hoped Dr. Lynn would move on but she stopped right there. "Your first sexual encounter together was in public?"

"Yeah," Edward said proudly, and I emphatically said, "No!"

She stared so I had to explain. "It was in the gallery where I worked, but nobody was there and people just walked by without looking in."

"How did it make you feel?" she asked me.

I crossed my arms because I felt my body shaking and said, "I felt cheap and like a whore."

Edward looked totally stunned. He stared at me with a look of horror on his face. He never once assumed I felt that way. I had chased him so hard he naturally assumed I loved it. I felt tears begin to fall and I said, "It wasn't the sex, but he just left afterward."

He shook his head and said, "You were still working, you couldn't leave."

"But you could have stayed," I said softly.

"I had a painting to finish. I was so crazy over you I couldn't force myself to work without seeing you. You inspired me to finish the painting after that," he said, trying desperately to make me understand.

"But you didn't tell me," I pointed out. "I thought you got a piece of ass and went on with your life."

Dr. Lynn interrupted and said, "But you kept seeing him, why?"

I had to think about her question for a long time. I finally had to admit something I tried so hard to deny. I looked at Edward and said, "I liked it."

"Liked what?" she asked me.

"I liked the feeling of living on the edge with this crazy, romantic guy that set my body on fire."

"Is that why you didn't tell him of the pregnancy? You knew a guy like Edward was not someone you viewed as a father?"

I saw the pain in his eyes and I nodded. It was a hard thing to admit to his face. I used every excuse I could think of to talk myself into hiding the pregnancy from Edward, but the truth was I didn't want him to be Masen's father. I went along with Emmett's plan because I knew it would keep Edward away forever.

"I didn't trust you," I told him honestly.

Dr. Lynn turned her attention to Edward and said, "How did you lose your virginity?"

I braced myself and felt my abdominal muscles tighten. His face saddened a bit and I grew more curious. He finally said, "This guy I used to buy pot from let me crash at his house one night. His mother came into the room and got into my bed."

"How old were you?" Dr. Lynn asked.

"Fifteen," he said and refused to look at me.

I looked over at Dr. Lynn and she gave me a worried glance before leaning over and touching Edward's arm. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

"I got the shit for free," he said, but it wasn't funny and nobody laughed.

"How did you feel?" Dr. Lynn asked him.

"I don't know," he said nonchalantly. "It wasn't like she raped me. I fucked her, so I can't complain."

"Edward, it was a breach of trust. You were a young boy and she took something from you. She taught you women were not to be trusted and they would only hurt you."

His eyes grew wet and I was surprised by his emotion. He finally said very softly, "I was bad."

"No, Edward," Dr. Lynn said, "You were not bad. She was very bad to do that to you. But do you feel the difference between Bella's love and what that woman did?"

He nodded and finally turned to look at me. I smiled and him and blew him a kiss. He smiled back and said, "I love you Bella."

We collapsed into each other's arms and I held onto him with all my strength. Maybe our beginning was messed up, but our forever could be perfect. We made a follow up appointment and went to get Masen. He was playing with a huge fire engine and looked up when we walked into the room.

Edward picked him up in his arms and kissed his cheek before saying, "Masen, nobody will take advantage of you."

I knew with all my heart Emmett wouldn't have to protect Masen, because his father would make sure to do it.

We went to weekly meetings and always left there feeling united and better able to understand each other. Edward still said things without thinking them through, but it became endearing instead of infuriating.

Alice married over Christmas break and luckily we were all moved into our house by then. I was a bridesmaid and Edward was a groomsman. Lucy and Masen were the flower girl and ring bearer.

Edward escorted me down the aisle and then we separated to stand next to Alice and Jasper. I smiled at Masen as he walked over to stand by Edward. They looked so much alike and I considered myself lucky to have them both in my life.

Edward was looking around the church as if he wasn't paying attention to anything and then suddenly our eyes met. He stared and then mouthed something to me.

"What?" I mouthed back so he did it again.

I couldn't understand what he was saying so I furrowed my brow and shrugged my shoulders. He said it again, but whispered it loudly. I shook my head again so he leaned closer and said in a soft voice, "You look hot."

The crowd began to laugh and Alice reached behind Jasper and smacked Edward with her bouquet. We both dutifully looked at the minister and kept our eyes off of each other for the rest of the ceremony. The reception was filled with great food and drink, and I danced slowly in Edward's arms most of the night.

When it grew late we headed home. Masen feel asleep in the car and Edward carried him inside and put him to bed by the light of the Christmas tree. He came back to the family room and pulled me into his arms. "What do you want for Christmas?" he asked.

"I have everything I need," I said truthfully.

He gave me one of his mischievous smiles and said, "Have you ever done it under a Christmas tree?"

"No," I laughed.

He reached over and grabbed the fury Santa hat resting on the lamp shade and put it on his head. "I'm going to cum down your chimney," he said in a seductive voice.

"You'll have to put me on the naughty list," I said, and turned so he could unzip my dress.

He pulled my dress down my arms and when he saw I was only wearing nylons he bit my ass harshly causing me to hiss from a mixture of pain and pleasure. He pulled my stockings down my legs and tossed them onto the tree.

I tried to turn around but he kept my back to him and pulled me against his body as he opened my legs with one of his feet. He unzipped his tux without removing it and bent his knees to be where he needed his body to be.

The lights were dancing on the tree as he held me tightly with one arm, grunting as he pounded me hard. It was new and exciting and I felt wild with passion. I began to meet him with my own thrusts and he yelled out loudly, "Holy shit."

I screamed out and bent over, giving him better access as he found the rhythm to send him over the edge. We both fell to our knees and when I turned to face him he pulled me onto the floor in his arms. Nobody brought out my full colors like Edward. He was the excitement and the danger I craved, but managed to make me feel safe and loved at the same time.

He reached under the tree and pulled out a present. "I want you to open this now," he said with childish excitement.

"It isn't a dildo is it?" I asked.

He laughed loudly and said, "I really need to get one of those. I think we would have fun."

I didn't need to tell him it was the truth, he knew it already.

I reached over and picked up a long thin box and handed it to him. "I'll open mine if you open this one."

He nodded with enthusiasm and sat up so he could watch me. I glanced down at his crossed legs and said, "Um…honey, put your dick away please."

He looked down and then laughed and pushed himself back into his pants. I tore open the box and found another box inside. I groaned and shook my head before opening the next box. Inside I found a box of condoms and I looked at Edward with disgust and tried to grab my gift out of his hands. He pulled it back and said, "Wait, look and see what kind they are."

I looked at the box and he said, "No, you have to look inside at them."

I ripped off the top of the box and looked inside to see a diamond ring sitting in a foam holder. I looked up at him with wide eyes and said, "Seriously, is this real?"

"It better be, it cost me twelve thousand dollars," he laughed, and grabbed the box to take the ring from the foam. I held out my hand and he slipped it onto my finger. I held it up and watched it sparkle in the blinking lights. I leaned over and kissed him, trying to show him how much I loved the ring.

He finally grabbed his gift and quickly pulled the wrapping off. He looked at the long stick lying in the cotton and then looked up at me. "Was this when you found out about Masen?" he asked.

I shook my head lightly back and forth. He looked back down at it again and then his breath shook and he asked with tears, "Are you pregnant again?"

"Yes, I'm due in July," I said with a squeal.

Edward dove at me, knocking me back onto the ground and kissed me as he rolled onto his back. We were laughing and crying and enjoying the moment like we should have with Masen.

We never told anyone when we went to city hall and got married. We just began wearing wedding rings and nobody questioned it. I didn't want a big wedding. Edward was all I needed and I wanted it to be just about us.

I was determined to do something to reward Lucas Trent for his kindness to a stranger. We found out he had been accepted to Northwestern for college and designed an anonymous scholarship just for him. I didn't want him to know who I was, but I wanted him to know being kind in the messed up world had its rewards.

I had a relatively easy pregnancy and we didn't announce anything until Masen's fourth birthday on Valentine's Day. We explained he would be a big brother and he couldn't wait to tell Lucy, since she would be having a new sister in just a month.

For some reason my children loved being born on holidays and our daughter Elizabeth Anne was born on the Fourth of July. Masen adored her and was an attentive, protective big brother.

Emmett remained a big part of Masen's life. He coached his little league teams and Edward taught him how to play the guitar and paint. Masen didn't favor one over the other and ended up taking after his Aunt Alice by excelling at gymnastics.

Edward and I had a date night once a week, where we would talk about anything and everything. Then we would come home and get kinky in the bedroom. He learned to trust and communicate and I learned to explore my adventurous side and trust in him.

The only problem we encountered was Edward's propensity to announce things at Sunday brunch. The kids were running around outside, our two, Emmett and Rose's two, and Alice and Jasper's son. Emse said, "Bella, you look so content."

I smiled and said, "I'm happier than I've ever imagined I could be." And then I put my arm around Edward.

"She should be," he said loudly, "I finally bought a dildo."

"EDWARD," I screamed, and smacked his arm. "God, you are so exhausting."

"I told you," Emmett laughed.

"You made your bed, now lie in it," Alice added.

I looked at Edward with my eyes fully open. I saw him without any tints or soft hues. Edward was full chroma and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The End.

**Thank you to everyone who read my story and especially those who took the time to comment. I am terrified of reviews and cry over the negative ones, fret over the so-so ones, and totally disbelieve the positive ones…BUT I AM WORKING ON IT!**


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